PROLOGUE
Cameron
“This isn’t for me.”Rebecca hands me a manilla envelope, sealed, so I have to take a few moments to open it.
“What’s not for you, and why can’t you tell me what’s going on instead of handing me some piece of paper?” Annoyance travels through my body. We’ve been married for six years, parents for three, and she can’t string a few words together to talk to me about something she deems important?
“All of this.” Her arms flail around.
I’m trying to grasp what she’s saying when I finally get the envelope open.Dissolution of marriage of termination of parental rights.
What. The. Fuck.
“You’re not taking my daughter away from me.” Fear and anger course through my chest, my fingers gripping the papers as I do my best to speed-read them.
“No, I’m not.” Her voice is hoarse, yet at the same time matter-of-fact. “I’m giving her to you.”
That hits me like a ton of bricks. “So what, you think you’re a martyr or something?”
“I’m not a good mother, and we both know it, Cam. My nerves can’t take her crying, I don’t know what she wants from me half the time, and I don’t feel like she belongs to me. Cameron, I won’t lay down my life for her. She deserves better. You deserve better, we haven’t slept together almost since she was born. I can’t handle the stress of being her caregiver and pleasing you.” She bows her head slightly.
“That’s bullshit and you know it. You could be the mother she needs, but you don’t want to be.” I’ve seen her in the quiet moments when she thinks no one is looking. “No one knows what they’re doing to begin with. It’s not like our parents knew just exactly how to take care of us. You’re doing a great job, Bec. As far as the relationship with me goes, I realize you’ve been adjusting. We’re both tired.”
“I’m not and we both know it. The only reason you’re trying to convince me to stay is because you don’t want to do this on your own. I don’t feel as if I know you any longer. Any semblance I had of a romantic relationship with you seems like it was a long ago dream, that I’ll never get back.”
That hurts like a son of a bitch. “No, I’m trying to convince you to stay because you’re my wife and I love you. We have a home, and a family. A future to plan for. At least I thought we did.”
She shakes her head. “This isn’t what I want anymore. Hell I’m not even sure I wanted to family. It’s not like we planned her.”
We hadn’t. Rebecca had gotten pregnant because of a medicine malfunction, but we’d agreed together, to have Trinity. Are some days harder than others? You bet your ass, but her little face lights up any bad day I have. “I thought you loved her.”
“I do, but I also know I love her enough to let her go, Cameron. She shouldn’t be stuck with someone who won’t give her the life she deserves. I’ll never be the mom who does all the cool Pinterest stuff, or who stays up late at night to make sure things are perfect for her.”
“She’s three, she doesn’t care about that stuff. If you’re going to use it as an excuse, say what you feel.”
My heart is pounding as I wait for her to get up the courage to be truthful. Trinity and I, we both deserve it.
“Fine.” The tone of the word is one I haven’t heard from Rebecca before. “I’m not happy. Not with her, not with you, or in this little town. When we got married you said we’d be moving to Knoxville, Chattanooga, or Nashville. Yet here we are, still stuck in Bradford. Now that you’re moving up in the fire department, this is where we’ll stay. Everything I said I didn’t want, we now have.”
“You told me you were happy,” I argue.
“No, I really didn’t. That’s just what you wanted to hear. I’m finally standing up for myself and telling you what I need.”
This fucking hurts. “To be by yourself? To forget you have a family, and people who care about you?”
“Call me selfish, or a horrible person, whatever you want, but yes. It’s what I want. I never wanted to house, the dog, and the white picket fence. You did.”“How is Trinity gonna handle it when she’s grown up? When she finds out you didn’t care enough to stay?”
She juts her chin down to where I hold the papers in my hand. “I guess that’s for you to deal with. As soon as you sign those papers, I’m out.”
With a heavy heart, I signed, scared to death about what my future would hold.
“I did do something for you, though.” She throws the words over her shoulder as she grabs up the last of her stuff.
“We don’t need any favors.”
“Yes you do. Natalie Grimes will be here tomorrow morning. I hired her for you. She’ll babysit Trinity until you can get a more permanent situation set up.”
As I watch her walk out the door, I know my life is never going to be the same again.