He waits for me to speak, but when I don’t, he bumps my shoulder with his and says, “What the fuck’s going on, Kolya?”
Grateful that I can at least explain all this in my native language, I shake my head and say, “She’s pregnant.”
Dima’s mouth drops open. It’s a rare occurrence to see him caught off guard, but I’m too high strung right now to appreciate it. He studies me for a second, gauging my reaction before finally saying, “Do you remember when I tried to push Gina away, and you told me that I was a fucking dumbass and that it was the worst decision I could ever make?”
“I don’t remember using those exact words, but, yes, I remember when you were being a dumbass.”
He smiles and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m going to tell you the same thing. Don’t run from this or push it away. You’ve been alone for far too long, and you deserve to be happy.”
“I don’t know how to be a dad,” I say, finally expressing the fear that’s been gnawing at me since the doctor shook the fuck out of my world with his announcement. “My parents threw me away the first second they could. I was raised by a bunch of strangers who didn’t give a rat’s ass about me. I was nothing but another mouth to feed, something they had to put up with until they could be rid of me too.”
“You’re going to be an amazing father, Kolya.”
“How can you possibly know that?” I scrub a hand over my face and sigh. “What if I’m just like them?”
I look up in surprise when I hear Dima’s deep laugh.
“I would love to know what in the hell is so funny right now.”
“Because the fact that you are even worried tells me all I need to know. It’s kind of like how they say jackasses never stop to wonder or worry about whether or not they’re a jackass. You’re worried. That’s a good thing. It’s going to make you a great dad.”
He looks over at my house, the one that had seemed so sterile and lonely only a few weeks ago. “I also know because of how you treat my son,” he says, looking back at me. “I have no doubt in my mind that if something were to happen to me and Gina that you would raise my son and take the absolute best care of him.”
I don’t say anything because we both know I would. I love Sergei like my own, and it wasn’t something I had to work at; it was just there from the moment he was born.
“You’re going to take one look at your baby, and it’s going to be unlike anything you’ve ever known. Trust me, man, your life is going to change, but it’s going to be a thousand times better than you could ever imagine.” He laughs and says, “I knew the second you first started bitching about Moira that she was the one.”
I laugh and shake my head. “Yeah, yeah, psychic Dima.”
“I’m serious. I mean, you barely even bothered to remember the names of the women you fucked, so I knew it was serious when you couldn’t stop yakking about her.” He laughs again at whatever memory he’s thinking of. “Like a fucking schoolgirl with a crush.”
I laugh and smack his arm. “You’re one to talk.”
“Oh, I’m completely whipped,” he says with a laugh, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He pulls back from his car. “It’s cold as hell, and I need to get back home, but tell Moira we said congratulations. Gina is going to be so fucking excited. Call me if you need me.” He gives me a wave and gets back into his car.
Walking back into the house, I know Dima’s right. I’m not my parents, and I would never do what they did. I’m the man I am because of myself, because of the choices and decisions that I’ve made in my life, and not because of the two idiots who made me. I can give my child everything I wish I’d had. With that thought firmly in place, I go back to my family—the one I never thought in a million years I’d be lucky enough to have.
The next couple of days pass quickly, and when she’s feeling up to it, we invite everyone over, but this time I just order a bunch of pizzas because I don’t want her worrying and spending hours in the kitchen. She’d humored me, but I could tell she didn’t want to.
“Oh, these are beautiful,” Moira says when Gina and Jamie come in holding huge bouquets of flowers. The sweet scent fills the room as Moira grabs them and brings them to her nose before going to find a couple of vases.
As soon as she has them settled, she grabs Jamie’s hand and eyes the impressive diamond. “This is gorgeous, Jamie. Congratulations. I’m so happy for you both.”
I shoot Aleksei athanks so much for making me look badscowl.
He laughs and says in Russian, “Time to step up your game.”
My look must say it all because he and Dima start laughing. It’s not like I’ve intentionally put off getting Moira an engagement ring. I just haven’t found the perfect one yet. I’ll know it when I see it, though.
Dima laughs again and gives Moira a hug. “I am glad you are feeling better, and we are very happy that Seryozha will have a playmate now.”
“It’s going to be so cute!” Gina squeals, making Sergei give a big smile at his mom’s reaction and showing off his first couple of teeth. She turns to look at Jamie. “Your turn next, babe.”
Jamie laughs while she and Aleksei both shake their heads no. “I’m super happy for you both, but we’re doing a long engagement, and babies are way down the road for us. Ollie is enough responsibility for now.”
“God yes,” Aleksei chimes in. “We love him, but, man, he’s a handful.”
“Yeah, babies are a little harder than dogs,” Gina agrees. “Plus, you need to get your beauty salon up and running.”