Nikolai sits on the bed next to me and reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, letting his fingers trace along my jaw before dropping his hand to rest on my thigh.
“No.”
I look into his dark eyes and ask, “Was he alive when you saw him?”
“Yes.”
I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. He tightens his grip on my thigh. He’s so huge that his presence seems to dominate the entire bed. I remember how he’d looked when he’d broken Sean’s nose and threatened to kill him if he ever came near me again. I know what he’s capable of, but I’m still surprised to hear him say it.
“It’s not quite what you’re thinking,” he says. “I was carrying you out of the building. You were passed out, and there was so much smoke.” He sighs at the memory. “I could barely see a damn thing, and it was so fucking hot. All I could do was keep stumbling forward and hope like hell I was still going in the right direction.” His eyes soften as he looks at me. “I was so scared, Moira. I’ve never been scared like that before. I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to save you. All I could think about was getting you out of that damn building. When I heard Sean yell my name, I looked back and saw him trapped beneath part of the ceiling. I also saw the gas can by his feet. I knew that he’d caused the fire, but lucky for him, I had no idea he’d hit you and knocked you out.”
“Did you try to save him?”
“No. I thought about it for about two seconds. To save him would have been to kill you, and that wasn’t a sacrifice I was willing to make, not by a fucking longshot.”
I can hear the stubborn tone of his voice, and I know he’s not regretting what he did, and I’m not so sure he should be. If I were in the same situation, there’s no way in hell I would risk Nikolai to save Sean. I wouldn’t wish a fiery death on anyone, but there are some things I would never be willing to sacrifice, and Nikolai is at the top of the list.
“Thank you for saving me,” I say, grabbing onto his hand and bringing it to my mouth so I can kiss it. “For saving us,” I clarify, making him smile.
“I would give anything for you, for the two of you.” He brings his hand to my stomach. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“In that case,” I say, giving him a smile that he recognizes as myI’m going to ask you something you may not likesmile. “Please convince the doctor to let me go home.”
He laughs and leans in to kiss the tip of my nose. “You’re a terrible patient, Moira. I’ll talk to them. If the doctor says you’re completely out of danger, then I’ll push for it.”
“Thank you. I’m not sure I could take another night in this bed, and I miss being able to sleep with you against me.”
“Tell me about it. Last night was hell. That chair is actually more uncomfortable than your airbed—a thing I hadn’t even thought possible.”
He kisses me again before going to track down the doctor. I lean back, hoping like hell they’ll let me leave today. There’s been way too much shit thrown at me lately, and I need someplace quiet where I can process it all. When Nikolai comes back in with a grin on his face, I let out a relieved sigh. I don’t know how he managed it, but I’m glad he did. I’m more than ready to go home.
Chapter14
Nikolai
After they give us the rundown of everything we need to look out for, a bottle of prenatal vitamins, and an appointment lined up for next week with an obstetrician, they finally discharge Moira. I know she’s exhausted and sore and more than ready to be home. Her voice is still a bit hoarse from all the smoke she inhaled, and I know her head is killing her. I’m trying my best to not hover over her like some sort of possessive caveman, but it’s damn hard, and I’m pretty sure I’m failing miserably based on the amused smiles she keeps giving me.
When I get her home and try to pick her up from the passenger seat and carry her inside, she laughs and grabs onto my arm. “Nikolai, I’m fine. I promise. I’m not going to break into a million pieces just from walking to the front door.”
I think about ignoring her protests and just picking her up anyway, but she raises an eyebrow at me as if she’s reading my mind. “Don’t even think about it,” she says with a laugh and gets out of the car.
I quickly grab her bag and open the front door for her. As soon as she steps inside, the place feels like home again. When I’d run back yesterday to grab a few things, the place had felt so empty and lonely. I’d packed as fast as I could, desperate to get the hell out of here. But now with Moira here, it’s exactly as it should be.
Dropping the bag, I lead her over to the couch. “Why don’t you rest for a bit?”
I can tell she wants to be stubborn, but I also know the warmth from the fireplace and the sight of her favorite plaid blanket is like a fucking siren call to her. I smile when she sits down and immediately curls her legs under her and covers up with the blanket before resting her head back on the pillow.
I hand her the remote. “Can I get you anything?”
She grabs onto my hand and smiles. “No, I’m good. Thanks for breaking me out.”
“Anytime.”
She pulls me closer and pats the space beside her. When I sit down, she cuddles up against me and finds one of her favorite ‘80s movies to stream. Yesterday catches up with her, and it doesn’t take long at all for her to fall asleep. Grabbing my phone, I send Dima a quick text, telling him I need to talk to him. I’m not surprised at all when he immediately responds with anI’m on my wayin Russian. I’d already told him about the cops coming and the fact that Sean had tried to kill Moira in the fire and about his death. He didn’t ask me if I saw him or if he was alive when I left the building, but I think he has his suspicions. I also know he would’ve done the same damn thing if it was Gina.
I hold Moira for a few more minutes before very carefully sliding out from under her. Pulling the blanket up higher, I tuck her in and kiss her forehead. Even in sleep, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. My eyes drift to where I know her stomach is, and for the millionth time today, I’m reminded that she’s pregnant. Deep inside her, hidden away and tinier than I can imagine, is my baby, isourbaby. Every time I think about it, a rush of emotions flood through me, so many strong feelings at once that I can’t seem to get a solid grasp on anything except joy and terror.
Knowing Dima is going to be here any second, I give her one last kiss and stand up. When he pulls in the driveway, I’m outside waiting for him. I don’t want to wake up Moira, so we lean against his Porsche.