I want to say yes and kiss him and never let him go, but I have to know the truth of how he feels, even if it’s an answer I don’t want to hear.
“Would you still be asking me if I wasn’t pregnant? I mean, I understand if that’s why you’re doing it, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to or anything.”
“God, you really have no idea how much I love you,” he says, “but don’t worry. I’ll happily spend the rest of my life showing you and trying to make you understand.” His hand is still resting on my stomach, and he starts to caress my skin with his thumb. “I was already planning on asking you to marry me. Feel free to ask Nurse Jenny. We were just talking about it before they brought you back in.”
I laugh, expecting him to join in, but he just says, “She and I are of the same mind. Life’s too short to wait around, and I’ve had to live thirty-eight years without you. That’s long enough. Do you want to marry me? Do you think you could be happy with me?”
It’s one of the few times Nikolai has looked unsure of himself, and it’s so adorable that I can’t resist pulling him closer and kissing him. “I guess I’m not the only one who’s clueless, because you have no idea how much I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you, and I don’t want to. Yes, Kolya, I’ll marry you.”
He gives me a big smile, the rare one that I know only a handful of people on this planet have ever seen before kissing me gently. He’s being careful to not hurt me, too careful, and when I slide my tongue along his bottom lip, he groans and deepens the kiss. I feel him grow hard beneath me, and way before I’m ready, he pulls back and rests his forehead against mine.
“I want nothing more than to bury myself inside you, baby, but you need to rest.”
“I’ll rest later,” I say, making him smile.
“Nice try. I can hear your heart monitor beeping like crazy over here. Be a good girl and rest, and we’ll be home before you know it.”
I groan in frustration, but I know he’s right. I relax into his body, already feeling the exhaustion start to hit me. “I can’t believe we’re having a baby,” I whisper against his chest, still not fully believing it.
“I know. It surprised the hell out me, I’m not going to lie, but it was a nice surprise. I’ve never had a family, and now all at once I have a fiancée and a baby.” He laughs and shakes his head softly. “I’m happy,” he finally says. “I’m very, very happy.”
I snuggle up against him and listen to the strong, steady beat of his heart as I drift off to sleep. Instead of the freaked-out nightmares I would’ve expected after just surviving a fire and finding out I’m pregnant, I have a peaceful few hours of sleep and wake up during the middle of the night to find Nikolai sprawled out in the uncomfortable chair next to my bed. His body is way too big for it, and I feel bad for how sore he’s going to feel tomorrow.
He immediately opens his eyes when he hears me sit up and reach for the water pitcher that’s beside my bed. Before I can even lift it, he’s up and pouring me a glass.
“Damn, a girl could get used to this.”
He smiles and hands me the cup. “Good.”
I drink the whole thing, noticing that he’s freshly showered and in a fresh pair of jeans and a different Henley. This one is dark grey and looks just as mouthwatering on him as the black one had. “It’s not fair that you look this good when I still look a wreck,” I say, handing the cup back to him.
“Perfect timing.” I look up and see the nurse from earlier walking in to check on me. She eyes Nikolai and says, “Is it okay if I take a look at my patient now?”
“Of course, Nurse Jenny,” Nikolai says, setting my cup down and backing up just enough for her to come forward to take a look at me.
“Is he always this protective?” she asks, giving me a big smile.
“Yes, and I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse now that I’m pregnant.”
Nurse Jenny laughs and pats my arm. “Honey, he was like a bear guarding his den when you were asleep. He sent the police away and scared off three of our interns.”
I laugh and look at Nikolai who doesn’t look the least bit ashamed of his behavior. He just smiles and winks at me, making me feel like the luckiest damn woman alive. I can’t believe he’s going to be my husband, that I’m actually going to be married to someone who makes my heart give a little flip every time I lay eyes on him.
“You needed your rest,” he says, as if that settles that.
“It took me hours to convince him it was okay to run home for a few things, and even then he made me promise to call if you woke up.” Nurse Jenny laughs and shakes her head softly. “I don’t usually let people boss me around like that, but,” she stops and gives me a conspiratorial wink, “he’s pretty easy on the eyes and hard to say no to.”
“Don’t I know it,” I say with a laugh.
When she’s finished checking me, I bring my fingers to my head and gently probe around the knot that’s still very much there. It’s not bleeding and doesn’t feel like it’s getting any worse, so that’s good at least. I just wish I could remember how in the hell I got it. Not caring that it’s the middle of the night, I look at the nurse and ask, “Can I please take a shower?”
She smiles and keeping the IV in place, disconnects the tube running into it so I’m at least able to get up and move around freely now. Looking to Nikolai, she says, “I doubt I need to tell you this, but you should go in there with her and help her. It’s okay to wash her hair, just be careful around the bump. It’s going to be tender for a few days.”
Nikolai is already at my side, helping me to the bathroom before she’s even finished with her instructions. I’m not used to being babied, but there’s no denying how grateful I am for his help.
“Please tell me you brought me some comfy pajamas,” I say, leaning on his arm and stepping further into the bathroom so he can shut the door.
He smiles and holds up the bag he grabbed on our way to the bathroom. “I’ve got everything you could possibly need, including soap and shampoo so you don’t have to use the nasty hospital stuff.”