She cuts me off with a flip of her hand. “Don’t be crazy. You can stay here as long as you need, and we’re not charging you shit.”
Walking over to the fridge, she starts to unpack the food bag. Eyeing it she adds, “We’ll need to figure out a way to get you some groceries.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Gina. Seriously, you’ve done enough. I’ll sneak out to the store at night or something.”
She makes a small hmmph sound that sounds like a mix ofyeah, that’s not going to workandI’ll think of a better idea and then just do it. I swear only moms can make one small sound hold so much information. Even though she’s younger than me, I’m amazed at how much more she seems to have her shit together than I do. It’s a little disconcerting.
After she’s puttered around the kitchen, put everything away, and showed me where everything is, she falls back on the couch and pats the cushion next to her. “Want to talk about it?”
I sigh and sit down. “What do you know so far?” I prepare myself for the embarrassment that’s coming, but I still feel my cheeks heat up when she starts talking.
“Well, Dima said Nikolai is an absolute wreck and that he majorly fucked up.” She turns her grey eyes on me to soften my humiliation and says, “Dima was my first, too.”
“Really?” I think about how amazing the two of them are together and how Dmitri looks at her as if he’s seeing her for the first time all over again whenever he looks at her. “That’s actually really sweet. You guys are like the perfect couple.”
Her face lights up at the compliment. “Thanks. I knew he was the one for me the second I laid eyes on him.” She lets out a soft laugh. “It took me a while to convince him that our being together was a good idea, and then he pushed me away when he thought us being together was putting me at risk.” She gives another heavy sigh. “And then he still tried to protect me and keep me from things. Finally, he figured it out, though, and so will Nikolai.”
“I just feel so stupid.” I lean my head back and settle into the comfy couch. “Part of me just wants to run to him and forget the whole damn thing ever happened, but another part of me is so damn humiliated and angry about it. I mean, the look he gave me. I can’t get it out of my head. It was a look of pure disgust and like he was angry at me for having the nerve to not tell him it was my first time.”
Gina pats my knee and gives me a sad smile. “There’s no denying he fucked up, and I’m not trying to make excuses for him, but, honestly, the fact that he’s actively pursuing you is so out of character for him, I can’t even begin to tell you. He really loves you, and that’s from a man who’s made it his mission to go through life on nothing but anger and random one-night stands. He’s not the kind of guy who goes after women and bothers to get to know them. Women throw themselves at him, and he can’t even be bothered to remember their names.”
I don’t like thinking about all of Nikolai’s past conquests, but I understand what Gina is trying to tell me. I give her a smile to let her know I’m taking it all in. When her phone gives a buzz, she looks at it and lets out a small laugh.
“Sergei is apparently very hungry, and Nikolai is acting like an even bigger, grumpier baby.”
I can’t help but laugh at the image, even though I feel terrible for all the drama I feel like I’ve created.
“Are you going to be okay? Do you want me to ask Jamie to drop by?”
“No, I’m fine. I didn’t get much sleep last night, and it’s really starting to catch up to me. I’ll probably get settled and take a nap or something and then try to figure out what in the hell I’m going to do.”
“Are you sure?”
I can tell by the way she’s studying me that she’s not going to leave unless she’s sure I’m okay, so I give her a big smile and say, “Absolutely. You’ve done more than enough, and I have no idea how I can ever thank you and Dmitri for all your help.”
“Oh, please, you don’t owe us anything,” she says, pulling me in for another hug. “Text or call if you need anything at all.”
I nod my head, but when she stands up, she gives me a very pointed look. “I mean it, Moira. You should’ve called me yesterday instead of hiding out in your office-bedroom for twenty-four hours.”
“It’s not my first instinct to ask for help,” I say, giving the only honest excuse I have.
She smiles and walks toward the door. “You and Nikolai have more in common than you think.”
With her hand on the doorknob, she turns back to me and says, “At least text him so he’ll stop going nuts, even if it’s just to say you need some time to think. He really looked like shit this morning. I’ve never seen him so upset about anything.”
“I will,” I promise her, feeling a stab of guilt at the thought of Nikolai being so hurt.
After Gina leaves, I lock the door and grab my bag, knowing I need a hot shower more than I need anything else right now. When I walk into the bathroom, I’m pleasantly surprised by how damn nice it is. There’s a large shower, but what really catches my eye is the enormous, clawfoot tub. Yeah, that’s definitely what I need right now.
It looks like they keep the place stocked in case anyone needs to crash here, so I grab a bottle of bubble bath that smells like vanilla and start the water. When it’s full and the bathroom smells amazing, I settle in and let out a sigh when the hot water starts to work its magic. Knowing I can’t put it off any longer, I grab my phone and think about what I’m going to say. I settle on:I’m fine, Nikolai. Please stop worrying. I just need some time to think about everything.
I don’t even get a chance to set my phone down before his reply comes in.
I’m so sorry, Moira. Please let me talk to you in person. This is killing me.
My heart speeds up at his words. I so desperately want to say yes and invite him over. I want him in the tub with me, hell, I want him inside me again where he belongs, but I can’t think straight when he’s around.
Just give me a bit more time. Please.