I stop for a second, not wanting to tell the next part but knowing I have to. I take a deep breath, grip her hand tighter, and say, “They had beaten Sergei to death and left him in the alley like some fucking piece of trash.”
Gina lets out a small gasp and tightens her grip on me, resting the side of her face against mine. She doesn’t say anything, just holds me in a fierce grip that comforts me more than she’ll ever know.
“An expensive car drove up to us and stopped a few feet away. A man in a nice suit that I did not recognize stepped out and walked toward us. He bent down and looked at me, and I remember he was so damn calm about it, like he did not even notice my brother lying there dead at his feet. I will never forget his face. People like to say that I am intimidating, but his eyes were dead. There was nothing in them.”
I want to shake my head to get the image of that fucker out of it, but I’ve learned from experience that it won’t help, so instead I take a deep breath and distance myself from it as much as I can.
“Who was he?”
Gina’s soft voice draws me out of my head, and I wonder if she has any idea what a comfort she is to me.
“He was a member of the Russian mafia, the Bratva. He explained to me that they had wanted Sergei and me to fight for them and that he had refused. They knew they could make a lot of money off our fights and had been threatening him for weeks. I’d had no idea. He’d kept everything from me to try and protect me, and they’d killed him for it.”
The pain of that day comes rushing back, and I’m unable to speak for several minutes. Flashes of Sergei’s beaten, almost unrecognizable face float through my mind, threatening to consume me and take me back to those days where I couldn’t even bring myself to get out of bed. Gina tightens her arms around me and kisses my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry, Dima,” she whispers against my skin.
“Is okay,” I tell her. “Was long time ago.”
“It’s not okay,” she says, nestling her face close to mine. “What happened with that man?”
I let out a harsh laugh. “I told him I was going to kill him. I have never been so angry in my entire life, and even though he was professional killer, I lunged at him, wanting to rip his fucking throat out. I was good boxer, but I was still just a kid who had lost his only family. I was not thinking clearly and the attack was too emotional. He easily stopped me and held me down. Nikolai tried to help, but there was nothing he could do.”
I feel Gina’s body tense against mine, waiting to find out what happened.
“You asked me how I got scar, well, that is how I got it. He wanted to teach me a lesson. For years, I wished he had just killed me. He pulled out a knife and gave me this,” I say, tracing the line of the scar that ran from my left cheek and down my chin. “Then he let me go and told me if he ever saw me again, he would kill me.”
“Oh my God, I feel terrible,” Gina says. “I asked about the scar, and I’ve always thought it was really sexy. I had no idea, Dima. I’m so sorry.”
I smile and squeeze her hand. “I am glad you think it is sexy. I do not hate the scar, Gina. It is a reminder of many things for me. It made me tough. The pain of it made me forget about the pain of losing my brother, at least for a little bit. It is part of who I am. There is no running from who you are and where you came from.”
She shifts her body behind me, bringing her head to the left side of my face. With gentle fingers, she turns me toward her and kisses the line of my scar.
“You always surprise me with how sweet you are,” I tell her. I laugh and add, “Especially since your dad is such an ass.”
She laughs and rests her chin on my shoulder, keeping her face close to mine. “He certainly can be. He’s convinced himself that you’re a bad guy. If he knew your story, he wouldn’t think you were part of the mafia.” She thinks for a minute, letting her fingers dance along my chest. “I think his anger has more to do with him than you. You remind him of painful things.”
“Such as?” I ask, not so much because I actually care about Belov’s feelings, but more because I know I’m going to have to learn to tolerate his presence if I’m going to be with his daughter.
“He was teased a lot as a kid when his family came to America. He didn’t speak English at all, and it took him a long time to learn. I guess he’s still pretty touchy about all that. Anyway, here you are, a powerful, successful Russian man, and I guess it just irritates him. He doesn’t believe you could accomplish all this without being involved in the Bratva.”
“I would never join them after what they did to Sergei,” I don’t mean for my voice to sound as harsh as it does, but Gina understands where the anger is coming from and kisses the crook of my neck instead of getting upset by my tone. The feel of her lips against my skin immediately calms me. I let my body relax against hers and take a deep, calming breath.
“What happened after that day?” she asks. “Did you and Nikolai go to the police?”
I can’t help but laugh at how adorably naïve she is. “No, beautiful, we did not go to the police. I imagine both our throats would have been slit before we could even make it to the station, and they were most likely in the Bratva’s pockets anyway. We did the only thing we could do. Nikolai helped me up and took me to the hospital. He made up some excuse about us getting robbed. They stitched me up and we laid low for a few days. As soon as we could, we took the money that Sergei and I had been saving and escaped to Finland. We stayed there for a few weeks and then bought a couple of tickets to America.”
“You must have been terrified,” she says, kissing my shoulder.
“Not at all. I was empty. After Sergei died, everything went dark for me. I didn’t care about anything anymore, not even my books. It was like I had died in that alley, too. Nikolai saved my life. He brought me here, found us a place to live, and got me to start fighting again. I channeled all my anger and used it to become a better boxer. Soon, we were making more money than I had ever seen in my life. I started the clubs, and we brought Aleksei on to help with the books and to keep everything looking nice and legal.”
“I’m glad you had him. I knew I liked that guy.”
I laugh and say, “You like Nikolai, do you?”
She smiles and gives my earlobe a soft tug. “I like the friend that he is to you. He can be intimidating, but I can see how he acts around you. I’m glad you have someone you can count on.”
“He likes you, too,” I tell her. “He told me to go easy on you when I found out you had broken into my apartment.”