“I know,” I sighed. “Or at least I try to be. I’ll never not regret waiting so long to act, but I wanted to be certain it would end. And it did.” I went into detail about the raid, and his eyes widened in surprise. I’d given them summaries of my past, small pieces, but I’d never been able to go through the finer, awful details. At this moment, the wound felt fresh all over again, so it was easier to let it out.
“I remember reading about it. It was a huge scandal in supe news,” he said. “Thanks for telling me.”
His voice was so serious I let out a small chuckle. “Takes spilling my guts to find the sweet side of you, Kane.”
“Shut the fuck up,” he laughed, the mood lighter again. And oddly, I felt a whole lot better than I had in a long time. A bit of the burden I constantly carried was off my chest now that the truth was out there. “I need to work on that.” His sigh was heavy.
“Being nice? She sees the good in you, Kane. We all do,” I promised. And I meant it. He was a protector in his own way and had been a great friend all these years.
“Growing up, my life was hard, though in a different way than yours. We were taught discipline, trained like soldiers, our skills honed into weapons. We weren't taught how to love, how to show our emotions,” he explained. “At least not in a healthy way that didn't wind up being painful for someone.”
“You always do more damage when upset or pissed off,” I agreed. His eyebrows rose.
“You noticed that?”
I laughed humorlessly. “Trauma response. Reading people around me is another skill.”
“We’re all a little fucked up, aren’t we?” he said, glancing back at our mate. “I have a feeling she’s not much better off.”
“She’s definitely got a past, but she’ll tell us when she’s ready. One thing I do know is that we’re a lot stronger together.”
“We are. That’s the only reason I haven’t freaked out about staying here for this long,” he agreed. It wasn’t the plan, but then again, neither was she. We couldn’t leave her behind, but we’d have to let her in on our baggage soon as well. We had told West when we arrived, but she had the right to know about it as well. I just hoped it didn’t change how she looked at us. But from how badly she’d hurt that demon, I’d say she could handle herself. The Arch Mage would be no match for our coven now that it was complete.
12
Farren
My footsteps echoed on the stone floors of the manor. It always felt so magical to be in a castle, like I was a princess waiting for her prince. I had all kinds of fantasies at ten, but none of them ended the way this one did. Even in my dream, I knew I was asleep, that this was my past. My footsteps faltered as I reached the war room, and I braced myself for impact.
The manor shook, and the smell of burning sulfur and a metallic tang filled the air. The smoke billowing into the building had me gasping for breath, and I dropped to the floor. The war room was closest, so I crawled in, shutting the door behind me.
My mother was the first person I saw, and I sagged in relief, glad to see she'd also dropped to the floor to avoid the smoke.
"Mom, we have to hide. They're here!" I begged as I pulled my small frame closer. The harsh rug burned against my knees, but I kept moving, needing to be by her side. Everything about this dream was different, and the fact that I couldn't tell what was happening or what would come our way was downright terrifying.
Another blast, and the books started to fall from the shelves, nearly burying me as I crawled out of the way the best I could. Sweat coated my body along with the dust from the shaken room. The manor was heating, and before long, the crackling fire started to seep into the room.
I'd made it to Mom now, terrified and battered. I couldn't figure out why she wouldn't help, not even offering words of encouragement. But then I saw why. Claw marks marred her back, having cut through her dress, and the blood had long since dried. The carpet below her body had soaked it up.
"No!!!" I screamed into the void, wishing with everything my little body had that I could reverse it all. My hand wrapped around her cold, lifeless one as flames consumed the room. The burning agony ripped awful screams from my throat, the pain both physical and mental, making me beg for death.
At least then I'd have my family back.
"Farren!" The sound of my name pulled me from sleep, and the nightmare fell away. A sob of relief escaped me, but from the cold breeze on my wet cheeks, they weren't the first tears that had fallen. It took a few moments for my brain to separate nightmare and reality, then the smell of vanilla and tobacco encompassed me, a soothing balm that slowly pulled me from the groggy panic consuming me. Nikolaus' voice was a low, deep whisper, words of encouragement spilling out in a continuous stream that wrapped around me like a warm blanket. My panic hadn't stopped, but that sense of protection and safety was enough to force it to start calming.
Glancing around, I realized we were on my bed, back in my suite, and very much alone. "How are you here? What's going on?" I finally managed to choke out. "The last thing I remember is the..." But it was all blank, just bursts of soul-deep burning pain and a flash of the demon's face. Zehra taking over was the last part to fall into place, but as I put the pieces together, she was silent.
"You were attacked," Nikolaus explained, shifting so he could pull me into his lap. He rocked me gently, and that nearly broke me all over again. When was the last time I could remember someone caring enough to hold me together when I couldn't do it myself?
"The demon," I confirmed. "But I can't remember anything after."
"I wasn't there," he admitted, a bit of regret in his tone. "But from what I gathered, he waited until you were alone and attacked."
"Kane took Angela," I added, piecing bits of my memory together now that he’d filled in a bit. "Thank gods she wasn't hurt. She knew he was bad."
"We all did," Nikolaus agreed. "But somehow you slammed him into the floor and knocked him out." That triggered my memory, the rest rushing back so quickly the room spun. As if sensing the change, he held me a little tighter while I sorted through the chaos.
"That was Zehra. She saved me," I said, not realizing what I'd done until it was out of my mouth. Gasping, I sat up and crawled away, sheer terror replacing the rest. But there was no way to lie to my mate; a witch like Nikolaus would know the moment the false words fell from my mouth. Deflection was off the table now, and I didn’t know what to do or say.