His hand drops to his side and he smiles sadly at me. “Like Linc said, where else would we be? After what happened to you last night…”
He trails off, like he doesn’t want to trigger me, but these guys being in my space is enough to do just that.
“What did happen tonight… last night?” I ask, pulling at the hem of my top.
All of them look at me, a mix of surprise and discomfort on their faces. “I mean… I remember some of it, but my memory is a little patchy.” I swallow down the emotion that threatens to rise. I remember enough to know I’m going to roundhouse Raleigh’s head off his shoulders if I ever see him again, but I need the holes filled in. I can’t let the blank spots in my memory fester.
I survived this before, I can survive again.
I repeat the mantra in my head. Maybe if I say it enough, it’ll be true.
“V,” Finley starts, moving closer to me again. He raises a hand toward me, but seems to think better of it and lowers it again. “You eat first, then we can tell you whatever you’re missing.”
I move toward the table. I have zero intention of eating, but maybe if I play along they’ll just tell me what I want to know and leave. I sit at the end of the table, opposite Lincoln, and next to Maverick. Finley takes the seat on my other side as East reappears with the last of the plates. There is silence for a minute as East sits between Finley and Lincoln, and they all just stare at me.
It’s so fucking suffocating.
I look down at my plate, the smell of the freshly baked croissants is beautiful, but my stomach protests. I know I should eat something, but the thought of it… just nope. Picking at the skin beside my thumb nail, feeling more vulnerable than I have since I got back to The Cove—which in itself speaks volumes—I try not to spin out about everything that’s happened.
The silence hanging in the air is so fucking loud it’s practically deafening.
“V,” East starts, but doesn’t say any more. I look up to find Linc glaring at him before he turns his stare to me.
“Raleigh drugged you and attempted to assault you. We stopped him, and brought you home.”
I glare at him. Way to play it down. Here’s me going through the worst possible scenarios and that’s all he gives me. “I’m going to need more details than that.”
His eyes harden, staring me down. “What else is there to know? He tried, we stopped him.”
For just a moment, the darkness inside me is burned away by fiery rage. “What else is there to know? You’re kidding me right? It’s my fucking body. I’m the one who was violated. You want me to just sit and imagine what happened? Wait for the memories to come back and knock the breath from my lungs? Tell me what the fuck happened.”
“V—” East starts but I shut him down.
“No, I’m sick of whatever all of this is that you guys have been doing. So either tell me or get the hell out.” I fold my arms across my chest, glancing between all of them, waiting for someone to speak.
“Ellis called me,” Lincoln starts, and I sit in silence, waiting for him to continue. “He said you looked out of it, and that Raleigh was following you around like a bloodhound. Since he’s known for being, well, a rapey asshole, we found you. When we did, you were telling him no, but you were topless and I’m pretty sure his hand was down your pants while he was slobbering all over you. I couldn’t really make out for certain, because I was too busy getting him off of you. Is that what you want to hear? That he had his hands all over you?” Anger simmers just beneath the surface of every word, and I can’t tell if that anger is directed at me or elsewhere, but whoever it’s meant for, it’s bleeding all over me.
“Of course it fucking isn’t, but you know what’s worse than knowing? Fucking imagining what happened!”
“He didn’t do any more than that,” Maverick adds, looking at me like I might break.
I don’t want him to look at me like that, because then I might actually curl up and shatter rather than stuff it down and put it on a shelf like I’ve been doing since my dad died and I came back here. I’ve just been trying to survive this place so I could escape it. I’m pretty sure if I opened up the mental closet with all of my trauma, my mind would splinter.
Instead, I nod once and look down at my plate again. “Thank you for telling me.”
The sounds of silverware against flatware fills the space and no one says another damn word. I don’t even pretend to eat. I just sit and wait for them to leave, trying not to let everything swirling inside of me spill over.
Not much longer.
Once they’re finished eating, I finally stand, my legs still shaking a little. “I’d like you all to leave now.”
My voice comes out shaky but I jut out my chin, trying to feel a little like my usual self, and catch everyone's gaze one at a time.
East looks like he’s going to object, but Linc interrupts him by standing from the table with a glare tossed in my direction, making me wince.
“Fine,” he spits and heads out of the room toward the door.
Finley looks up at me with sad eyes. “V—”