“I’ll be home for Christmas. Make sure the house isn’t trashed when I get back.” The line goes dead. He has what he wants, so there’s no need for him to stick around. That has been the story of my life.
I remember, once upon a time, I thought my dad hung the fucking moon. Then I got the slap of reality and I’ve never looked at him the same since.
I drop my phone and flop backward onto my pillows.
I wish this was the shittiest start to a day I’ve ever had, but compared to some, this is sunshine and fucking rainbows. Gritting my teeth against the urge to scream out at the injustice of this entire fucking thing, I fist my hands into the comforter and count back from ten.
My father won’t break me.
I repeat the mantra that has kept me going for the last five years and focus on one thing: Doing what needs to be done to keep Octavia safe.
* * *
I’ve spent this entire godforsaken afternoon in my basement gym trying to work out my frustration; yet, it doesn’t matter how hard I run, how much weight I lift, or how hard I hit the bag, my anger only grows.
I wish I could tell her the truth, but if she knew… it would just put her in more danger. There is also no way she would believe me. Hell, I wouldn’t believe me if I were her. It all sounds like something out of a movie.
I wish it was a fucking movie, at least then there would be a happy ending, but there is no happy ending in this. Not for me anyway.
This is exactly why I wanted her gone from here. This place is toxic. Twisted. It will eat you alive if you let it.
Fuck knows it tainted all of us.
My phone pings on the floor, so I step back from the punching bag, wishing my wrapped hands were the only pain I felt anymore. I pick up my phone and shut off the music when I see the message.
Unknown:
You’re up. Mission details will meet you at the drop.
Fuck my fucking life. Could this day get any fucking worse?
I pull up the thread with Finn and Mav, sending a message of my own.
Me:
You get the message?
Mav:
Yep. You driving?
Me:
Sure. Be here in ten.
We’ve always been sent on these missions together. They tried sending us separately to begin with, but we all went together no matter what, so eventually the Board decided this was easier for them. One small tick in our column of wins.
I wait for Finn to respond, frowning when it doesn’t come through. It doesn’t usually take him more than a few seconds when we get hit up by the Knights.
Finn:
Yeah. Be there in a few.
I grab my towel from the weight bench and dry off before putting my tank back on and heading upstairs. I snatch a bottle of water from the fridge in the kitchen and drop onto the couch to wait for the others.
East has no idea how lucky he is that he’s not a part of this fucking shit. I still don’t know why Harrison chose me instead of him, but sometimes, it’s hard not to resent him for it. Especially when he chooses to stay here when he could go anywhere in the world. He is free from their clutches. Well, as free as anyone can be. He isn’t a slave to them.
Not like we are.