I can’t help but bark out a laugh. Despite my extreme tiredness, she’s managed to keep me smiling and laughing ever since she picked me up this morning. “Tell that to any Italian and see how far you get. Espresso and pasta are basically a religion. At least to the Italians I’ve met.”
I remember when I went to Rome on my dad’s world tour. I snapped the spaghetti to make it fit in the pan, and the horror on the face of the Italian tour manager was enough to make me cry with laughter. Apparently that shit’s practically illegal there.
I sip on my espresso, exaggerating my gasp of joy as the bitter beautifulness hits my taste buds, and she scrunches up her face in disgust. “Just no,” she hisses, taking a sip of the whipped cream topped iced coffee she clutches in her hands. “Now this shit is good.”
She starts to laugh, and I join in, feeling grateful again that she came into my life when she did. The laughter is the most catharsis I’ve felt over the past twelve or so hours.
I try to fight the yawn that overwhelms me and makes my eyes water, but I lose.
“Will you be okay today?” Indi’s concern is heartwarming. She frowns at me again, the same way she did when she arrived at my place and saw my disheveled state. “I can stay till Smithy gets back. Or you can come and stay with me?”
I shake my head, smiling softly before yawning again. “I appreciate it, but no. I’m not going to get over this if I let everyone coddle me. I’ll be okay. Nightmares can’t hurt me. I just need to push through it.”
I pull out my phone, shooting a message to Smithy to check in with him like I promised I would.
“Surviving ECP on so little sleep might not be safe,” she snorts, before climbing out of the car. I follow suit, shaking my head because she isn’t entirely wrong.
We head into the school, arms linked and smiling. When we reach my locker, I start swapping out my books that I need for the morning. “So, I keep meaning to ask, but forget with all of my bullshit. What’s going on with you and Jackson?”
She’s uncharacteristically silent. Once I have what I need, I close my locker and look at her. A blush spills across her cheeks, and she wrings out her hands. “We’re okay. I thought it might get a little weird after you brushed off Raleigh, but it didn’t. He’s a lot sweeter than I expected him to be, but we’re taking things slow.”
“I’m happy for you.” I smile down at her, genuinely overjoyed that it’s working out for her. She brings so much joy to me, I’m glad I helped her take the leap she needed in that regard.
We head to her locker, while she fills me in on her family stuff. I'm the terrible friend who hadn't asked because I'd been drowning in my own drama, but I can listen. “You didn’t miss much. Though when Ella found out we were friends, she went a little crazy. I managed to ice her out, but it was weird as fuck. I’m glad my cousins live on the other side of the country. They all have way too much hype for me. I was exhausted by the time they left. They sapped my well of joy and positivity dry with all of their mania.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help,” I say sadly.
“I mean, you were literally indisposed, you’re fine. I wouldn’t put them on you anyway. Families are weird.”
It’s almost like her words summoned my crazy-ass family. Because once she’s finished speaking, Blair stalks past us, bitch squad firmly attached to her ass. She flicks her hair over her shoulder as she passes me, and I can’t help but roll my eyes when she glares at me. I guess the muzzle Lincoln put on her isn’t one she was happy with.
I shudder at the thought of the two of them together. I refuse to think my feelings are anything beyond disgust. There’s a small pang in my heart, but that’s just a young girl’s crush dying. Once upon a time, Lincoln, Finley, Maverick, and East each owned a piece of my heart. As an almost grown-ass woman, I’m aware that I can’t have all of them. Hell, I can’t have any of them. But that young girl’s crush still exists inside of me somewhere whenever I get a glimpse past all of their bullshit and hate.
Maybe even in spite of it all.
But a young girl’s wishes are nothing but that. Reality isn’t even close to aligned with those wishes, and I don’t know that I’m all that sad about it. Especially considering everything they’ve done since I got back here.
Especially with what I’m positive they did to me over the weekend.
Except for East—he might be the only one of them who hasn’t completely changed. The others, though… Let’s just say there are some things a girl can’t get over. And there’s no reason that I can think of for them to have done that to me.
So I tuck that small girl’s crushes deep in the back of my compartmentalized heart and take a deep breath.
Indi’s eyes go wide as she looks at me. “Did you remember to do your assignment?”
Well, fuck.
* * *
After spending last night cramming with Indi and catching up on every assignment and piece of homework that I’ve left floating, and forgotten about, it occurred to me while we were working that Lincoln and I are still pretty behind on our Business project. Despite the threats of a fail from the creep that is Mr. Peters, I haven’t gotten an F yet. That wasn’t something I was going to deal with last night, though. So as I head to my Business class, I steel myself against seeing Mr. Peters and talking to Lincoln to catch up on everything.
I didn’t sleep much again last night, the nightmares that haunt me when I slip away into sleep are fucking awful, and I woke up hoarse from screaming again this morning. To say I’m tired is an understatement, and the thought of dealing with Lincoln today doesn’t exactly fill me with joy.
Lincoln wasn’t an ass to me yesterday, but he wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy either. I’m not sure Lincoln Sainthasa warm and fuzzy side. It’s as if he let East take all of the laid-back and chill vibes as they grew up, and he took on the responsibility that comes with being a Saint in Echoes Cove, growing icier as he did it. I can’t say for certain about any of it since I wasn’t here, but it’s sad to see how much he’s changed since I left.
I slide into my seat as the final bell rings and Mr. Peters strolls into the room. A shudder crawls down my spine even just seeing him, the same way it has every time since his disgusting proposal. It would seem the fates are on my side today, though, because he sits down and looks around the room, seeming about as awake as I feel. After a moment, he says, “Buddy up with your partners and discuss your project. I expect your second proposal after Labor Day weekend.”
I look over and see Lincoln scowling at me. Awesome.