He looked up from his notepad and wanted to wipe the worry off Kayla’s face, but he couldn’t find the words. He shook his head, disappointed in himself. Kayla stood from her chair and placed her palms flat on his desk. Oh, that wasn’t a good sign. Not good at all. She often did this when she would really rip his head off. It had happened once or twice in the six months she worked for him.
“Okay, snap out of it, will you? Just tell me. I know Kate’s my sister, but maybe even then—no, fuck it—because she’s my sister, you owe me an explanation. You are so out of it today. What the hell is going on inside your head?”
He sighed and reluctantly started. “I was indeed thinking of Kate today. I keep thinking of her. I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“And this is a bad thing, because…?”
“I can’t stop it. I can’t turn it off. I can’t focus. Mike was telling about Mrs. Preston—”
“Weston,” she interrupted him with a smirk.
“Ah, fuck it. Preston, Weston. Who cares?” he growled.
Kayla raised her voice a bit as she said, “Well, normally you do. You don’t make it a habit of being kept in the dark. You run this ship, and as I’ve noticed these past six months, you run a very tight ship. You always interfere with everyone’s work and demand updates from the guys when you’ve haven’t heard from them for even five minutes.”
“I’m not that bad,” he scoffed.
Kayla raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, hate to tell it to you, boss man, but you are.”
Donovan chuckled and fired back, “Ha! You don’t hate to tell me anything. What a load of crap.”
Grinning, Kayla sat back in her chair and crossed her legs in satisfaction. “Okay, so now that I’ve got you smiling again, will you please open up and tell me?”
He shook his head in defeat. “Okay, I’m going to deny any of this if it ever leaves this office.”
Kayla grabbed the chair’s arms, and her knuckles turned white. She must’ve thought he was going to admit something about doing her sister wrong and ask her to keep it from her. Christ, what did she even think of him?
“Nothing like that. Fuck, Kayla. What I told Errin is true, okay? I’m serious about Kate. I’m in this 100 percent. It’s just that I’m scared, okay? I’m afraid I’m going to fuck this all up. I’ve never had a girlfriend before, not even anyone who came remotely close to becoming my girlfriend. I’m thirty-four, and I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I’m going to fuck up the best thing I’ve ever had.”
He must’ve hit a nerve as Kayla’s eyes practically bulged out of her head. “You… you’re scared?”
“Yeah, I know. This cold bastard, for once in his life, he’s scared. Now, don’t make me regret telling you this.”
Kayla stood from her chair and walked around his desk to stand before him. He felt awkward sitting down, so he stood up. She immediately hugged him tight, as if to give him comfort. He awkwardly patted her back and pulled back a bit when she started to speak.
“I can’t believe it. The Donovan Mills, scared?” Kayla seemed truly surprised by this revelation.
He wasn’t hurt by her implications. He knew he wasn’t the happy-go-lucky type or an open book for that matter. He never cared for sharing personal stuff. Kayla may be the only woman up till now, next to his deceased mom, who he’d truly let see the real Donovan.
She whispered, “Who knew Donovan Mills had a heart?”
“Yeah, and I can’t help thinking your sister is going to break it.”