Slowly, her rage softened from a boil to a simmer, but she could crank the heat back up in a flash.
“That I’m so desperate for revenge, but even when I get it, I still feel numb. It’s as if it never happened. The high was so exhilarating, but it burned out…just like that. Now I want another hit because I don’t know what else to do. I know full well his suffering won’t make mine any more manageable. So, I betrayed you for something that didn’t even really matter in the end.”
Her eyes were locked to mine like she repeated those words in her head.
“I’ve been so angry ever since I can remember that I don’t even know how to live. My entire purpose in life is to hurt Grave and my father. It’s consumed me. Despite what you think, I’ve grown to care for you, but that didn’t stop me from throwing you to the wolves.”
“I thought you said your father is dead?”
Anger swept through me. “Dead to me.”
“Then it sounds like you meant what you said, that I could shoot you and it wouldn’t have mattered.”
After a long stare, I gave a shrug. “I’ve come to the sad realization that my life has no other purpose. It’s always been about revenge to the exclusion of all else, even sabotaging my own happiness. Even now, it gives me sick satisfaction that you’re here and Grave can’t touch you, when all I should feel is remorse for what I’ve done to you.”
She held my gaze and didn’t speak, her eyes absorbing my words.
“So I’m offering to kill him for you—if we can be what we once were.”
“We can never be that again,” she said quickly.
“As long as I have you in any capacity, we have a deal.” My fingers rubbed along the scruff of my jawline, feeling the coarse prickle of the skin as I grazed the area with my fingertips. I waited for her answer, hoped that my offer was too enticing to ignore.
After what felt like minutes, she gave a nod. “Okay. When will you kill him?”
“When the moment is right.”
“That could be years.”
“More like months.”
“You haven’t killed him so far. How do I know you’ll ever do it?”
“Because it needs to happen anyway. It’s the only way I can move on.”
She studied me, searching for a hint of a lie. “And when he’s dead, I’m free to go.”
“Yes.”
After long consideration, she nodded. “Okay. We have a deal.”
FIVE
CAMILLE
I actually felt sorry for him.
Which was stupid, because I should only feel sorry for myself.
I only agreed to his terms because there was no other option. I would always be a pawn these two men would fight over, so until one of them was dead and the other let me go, my life would never be my own. Finding a husband and a quiet place to start a family would be an impossibility.
But even on the best of terms, that still felt like an impossibility.
Would a man ever love me after he knew my past?
Would I ever love a man after my heart was so irrevocably broken?
Was I the stupidest person alive for actually thinking that Cauldron could be that man?
Yep. 100%.
Wouldn’t make that mistake again.
A physical therapist came to the house to help me work on my ankle. It’d been nearly two weeks since I’d actually used it, and the muscles seemed to have forgotten how to work. It was a lot of stretching then short walks. The swelling had gone down and the pain was gone, so it was tempting to do more, but being disabled for a few weeks taught me to fight the impulse.
Once my exercises were done, I made it downstairs and used my crutches to approach the pool deck. Fall had just begun, but it still felt like summer. Hot and humid. Not a cloud in the sky. I sat on the top of the steps and set down my crutches before I slid into the pool. The buoyancy of the water allowed me to stand upright without assistance, so it was nice to enjoy some independence, even if it was attenuated.
“How does it feel?”
When I turned around, I spotted him stepping into the pool in black swim trunks. His muscles were thick and swollen, like he’d hit the weights that morning and was still tight from the workout. His skin was beautifully tanned, like he spent his time lounging around the pool instead of working in his office all day.
He moved into the water until only his chest was above the surface. “Your ankle.”
I forgot the question he’d just asked. “Feels normal again. But the therapist said I need to take it easy for another week.”
“I’m sure that’s a struggle.” A slight smile moved on to his lips, a ghost of a boyish grin. “You never listen.”