His eyes go wide for a second, seeing if I’m okay, and then we laugh together into another kiss when he sees I’m unharmed. His hand trails down my body, and I’m burning with longing at the warmth of his touch. The corner of my dress somehow upturned as we fell, and it’s nearly up to my thigh. Tito kisses down my neck as he pulls the dress higher, before touching his hand to my bare thigh. I feel the chills beginning to rise, wanting this to happen, needing it to be my reality, or else I don’t know how I’ll sleep tonight.
He brings his lips back to mine as he slowly brushes his fingers up my thigh, gaining closer and closer to my depths of arousal. Just as I’m about to moan into his mouth for him to just do it already, I hear the door creak open. Tito hears it too and practically flies off my body, pressing his back against the window as Espie and Olive walk in with mounds of clothes in their arms.
I don’t think they saw us because after they set the clothes down, they notice Tito.
“Oh, are you staying in here with her too?” Olive asks before side-eyeing Espie, who seems a little more clued into what’s happening.
“Actually, I was just leaving.” Tito wipes his mouth and jumps down all four steps, crossing the room to the door while mumbling, “Goodnight, everyone.” The girls snicker their goodnights while I watch with horror. God, I hope they didn’t see us. I mean, even if they didn’t see us, Tito’s exit was still horribly awkward.
I can tell my cheeks are flustered, and can feel the heat rising from them, but I can’t control it. After a second of silence, Olive and Espie begin to giggle.
“I’ve literally never seen Tito like that.” Espie bites her lips to calm down her laughter, but Olive keeps it up.
“Oh.” I force a laugh and clear my throat, grabbing my elbow as I look at the floor.
“It’s cute. Both of you.” She slaps Olive's stomach with the back of her hand for her to calm down. Olive gives her a slight glare but shuts up anyway.
“No… We… we’re not, we weren’t—”
“Relax,” she smiles, taking a step closer. “We didn’t see a thing.” She nods genuinely, but it makes me feel worse because now I know they saw us. It makes it a little more real, this heat between Tito and me. Now I feel the rational side of me coming back, scolding me for giving in to this weighty desire.
“Would you like to try these tonight? Or should we have one of the maids hang them up for you to choose some outfits tomorrow?” Olive asks as she squats down to the piles they dropped on the floor.
“It looks like a lot to go through.”
“It’s not much.” Espie furrows her brows up, confused, but the confusion that seems concerned for my ability to choose an outfit from that mess. I can’t even put together an outfit with the ten pieces of clothes I do have, so I don't understand why anyone would want to do it every day with a hundred options.
“How about we put together some outfits and just hang them on a rack by the window? That way, each outfit has its place. You can pick what you want to wear by the selections.” Olive offers, standing to her feet and heading towards the door.
“Okay.” I shrug, feeling far too out of my limit to disagree with anything that could help at this point. When Olive disappears around the corner, Espie's face changes like she remembers something. Her freckled nose crinkles as she sweeps a long lock of shiny hair off her small shoulder.
“You need pajamas.” She looks back into my eyes, her big green ones blinking up at me.
“That would actually be so nice.” I nod, and she puts a finger up, running out of the room as Olive comes back through the door with a long gold rack. She rolls it across the room and places it at the edge of the back wall, right against the glass of the window. I watch as she grabs wood hangers from it, beginning to hang things up. After a second, Espie comes back with a baby pink lace and silk nightgown that looks like lingerie.
I take it reluctantly, though I force a smile. She doesn’t seem to notice as she hops over to help her sister sort through the piles of clothes on the floor. When they’re not looking, I hold the nightgown up to me to get a better look. Yep, it definitely looks like your classic lingerie dress, triangle bust area lined with lace, thin silk straps, and will most likely show my ass if I even think about slightly bending forwards. Don’t they own t-shirts? Maybe it’s a rich people thing, not owning anything less than 1K a piece. Not to be ungrateful, but this look just isn’t me.
I don’t have the heart to ask for one, so I quickly change into the nightgown and sit on the bed, pulling a blanket over my legs, so I can crisscross them. It takes about ten more minutes, and by some miracle, the girls have put together outfits from top to bottom on every inch of the rack. It looks like there is one hanger between each outfit to separate them a bit, but either way, it's stuffed full of clothes.
“Done!” They say in unison, excitement seeping from their frames as they walk towards me. I quickly stand, and let them guide me down the steps and over to the outfits. I have a blanket wrapped around me as they begin talking about each outfit, like how Tito and I talk about tech. There’s nothing else I can do but smile and admire their passion for something I’ve never taken an interest in. It’s nice to be around them, and I like the way they already feel as hospitable and warm as Tito and Vince have been to me.
“That’s it!” Olive claps when she gets to the end of I don’t know how many outfits.
“Wow, thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.” I try to convey how sincerely I mean this. They’ve gone out of their way for me, and they barely know anything about me. If they really knew me, knew what moral conundrum I was in and how it will affect their family, they might not be so kind. But alas, they don’t, and I can’t do anything but toil over the stress of it all until it’s over.
“Of course, Scout. Anything you need, anything at all, and we’ll be here for you.”
“Thank you,” I say as they pull me into a quick hug before heading towards my door.
“Goodnight, Scout!”
“Goodnight, girls.” I wave back as Olive closes the door behind me. When I’m sure they’ve gone, I let out a much-needed breath because the stress of all of this is getting to me.
Shit. I kissed Tito again, too. And worst of all, I wanted it more than I ever have, not just his lips on mine, but his body in mine. I wanted us. But whatever that meant, and whatever it means now, cannot be equal. Wanting Tito isn’t the end of everything, but needing him, and I do think I need him, is what will be the end of me. Maybe having sex with him isn’t the worst thing I could do. Perhaps, this is what normal people do when they have strong emotions.
Then again, I know I can’t think like this. I flop back onto my bed and curl up into a ball as I stare out the window. Why is this happening to me? The first guy I meet that I have something with, something unexplainable, and now I can’t be within two feet of him without risking his safety and my own. It’s more than that, though, because if I give in to my desires, then regardless, we both get hurt.
The more I tell myself this, the more I don’t believe it, but I know it has to be true. If I choose to entangle myself with him, eventually, my leaving will only hurt worse for both of us. Not to mention if he finds out about what I’m doing behind his back, I will most definitely hurt him.