We had a spare room that Kenna and Ainsley took. Neither was thrilled at having to share a bed, but it was either that or the floor. Grayson and Fynn—if he crashed—would take the couches again.
I glanced at the stairs for the umpteenth time. Was she sleeping? I’d procrastinated long enough.
Fynn noticed and lifted his head from the laptop at the sound of my sigh. “Stop pining and just take your ass upstairs. You’re distracting me.”
I tossed a coaster off the table at his head.
Fynn jerked to the side, his reflexes still sharp regardless that he had to be tired.
The coaster hit the wall behind him, causing Grayson to scowl. “Are you trying to wake up the house? Or just keep me from getting any sleep?” He adjusted the pillow under his head from where he was stretched out on a couch.
“The latter, obviously, because I live to annoy you,” I bit back with no real ice behind the words.
Grayson settled his shoulders into the cushions. “What the fuck does my cousin see in you?”
This wasn’t the first time he’d posed the question. It had been a running joke that only he didn’t find much humor in.
“Do you want me to make a list?”
Eyes closing, he said coolly, “I want you to leave me alone.”
There was a form of comfort in falling into old habits of riding each other’s asses. “When are you going to get a girl?”
“Never,” he stated, hands folded over his chest. “I have too many in my life as it is.” With two sisters and Mads, it was true. Grayson was surrounded by females but none he could bang.
“What about Ainsley?” I suggested.
He scrunched his nose. “What about her?”
“You could hit that.” She was cute in a dark anime way. I didn’t watch the stuff, but I knew the style, and Ainsley had this adorable, street, badass chick vibe. I didn’t know how she meshed it all together, but it worked for her. Maybe not Grayson’s usual type, but maybe going out of his box would pull him out of this funk. She would be a fun distraction, at the very least.
“I don’t need to have sex with every girl within a mile radius of me.”
I gave him a quick grin. “Fuck, why not?”
“Go to bed, Micah,” he groaned. “If you’re lucky, my cousin won’t kick your ass out of your own room. I’m not giving up the couch, by the way.”
I longed to go curl up in my bed with Mads. But did I deserve to share a bed with her after how I treated her? Fuck no. “You guys suck,” I grumbled, shoving out of the chair.
Climbing the stairs, I lightened my steps as I approached my door, careful not to wake her up. I turned the knob slowly, giving the door a gentle push. For once it didn’t squeak. I stepped inside, my gaze immediately drawn to the bed and the form outlined in the sheets. The thin material hugged the shape of her curving profile. Like always, she slept curled on her side, back facing the door.
I shut the door behind me and sank against it. Her faint breathing drifted through the room, and to me, it was like a siren luring a sailor on a foggy night. She made me feel powerless, my body not in my control.
The desire came swift, as it always did with her. Just her breathing turned me on. My cock swelled in my pants, straining against the zipper on my jeans.
She didn’t move or make a sound as I walked across the floor and removed my jeans and shirt. I had no intention of touching her.Just sleep. She needed it, and so did I.
My dick, on the other hand, was firm and pulsing in my boxers. I swear to God, it swayed in her direction as I slipped under the blanket and climbed in beside her. I told myself to stay on my side of the bed, but the moment I settled in and dropped my head on the pillow, Mads snuggled up to me, her body contouring to mine.
Fuck me.
This had to be karma torturing me for what I’d done by insisting we put space between us when that was the last thing I wanted. It was as if the universe was toying with me just as I had played with Mads’s heart, despite believing it was for the greater good.
I lay still, afraid to move and disturb her because this was exactly what I wanted, what I craved, to be in bed alongside her.
Mads sighed contently in my arms, her breath warm and soft against my face. My heart thumped in my chest, followed by a squeezing flip that made me ache to do more than hold her. Too tired to deny the pleasure of her body against mine, I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled. I’d deal with the fallout when we both woke up. Every muscle in me went lax as her scent filled me. She gave me a contentment I had no right possessing, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I would ever be a man deserving of her love.
The first thing I noticed before I even opened my eyes… Mads was gone. The weight of her head nuzzled on my shoulder, the warmth of her hand on my chest, and the scent of her skin were all absent. Vanished like an empty dream, leaving a gaping hole in my chest. The kind that made you gasp for air.