“Just a few beers,” I admitted.
His fingers were still interlaced with mine, our arms swinging between us as we walked down the side of the street. Occasionally someone would hoot or laugh in the distance, people still milling about, excited over the prospect of a new semester. For a few minutes, we walked in silence, the crickets singing in the grass and the moon glowing brightly in the dark sky. I loved summer nights just like this. It was still hot, but traces of fall lingered in the breeze, the in-between stage of seasons.
My head heavy with thoughts and still a bit clouded with beer, I moved into Micah’s side, laying the side of my head on his shoulder. I thought about how to begin what I needed to say, but the words were scrambled in my head. How did one start a conversation like this?
We’d both done a shitty thing, but over the last two years, we’d grown up a lot. Life had a way of forcing your hand sometimes, even when you weren’t ready, but what sixteen-year-olds didn’t make colossal mistakes? What Micah had done… was nearly unforgettable and would have been if we’d been in a relationship, but the truth was we hadn’t been. Not officially. We’d hooked up, and I got ideas, those girlish dreams of romance and love. When it came to Micah Bradford, I had nothing but glittering stars in my eyes. How quickly an illusion can be shattered.
That had been the hardest year of my life, and only a fraction of it had anything to do with Micah. It had been all kinds of fucked-up, and I thought that was one of the reasons the memories of Micah and Sterling were so vividly implanted in my head.
Shortly after the incident with Micah, my best friend left. Kenna moved to another town, transferred schools, and because of the distance, our relationship suffered.
All my relationships suffered that year.
The world changed.Ichanged. Gone was the girl who believed nothing bad ever happened, that her life was full of cherries, roses, and cotton candy. My cousin became a victim, someone out of a true crime story we used to watch on TV, and I was the powerless witness who could do nothing to stop her from getting hurt.
When she escaped Elmwood, I became secluded, not giving a shit about friendships, school, or any of the things I used to love. My guilt crippled me, made me feel useless. I never wanted to go back there.
And during all that bullshit, it had been hard to go through it without my best friend, but I understood why she left, why my aunt and uncle sent her away. So much anger had festered inside me for what she’d been through and the reason she left.
It was difficult to put your past behind you and move forward. Some things followed you. Some haunted you. Some invaded your sleep when you were vulnerable and open. And others crept up when you least expected them to.
Sterling was the latter. A dark stain on my past that appeared out of nowhere.
I had just about worked up my courage to tell Micah as we turned on the street of his house with Brock. I hadn’t noticed until then that we were heading there instead of the dorms. Seeing the rowhouses come into view, I realized how much I wanted to spend the night in his bed, sleeping in his arms.
After the day I had, I needed the comfort and security he gave me.
This was the first time I’d ever been away from home, excluding vacations, and I missed my parents. Unlike Micah, Brock, and Josie even, I had a good relationship with my parents. They might not approve of all my decisions, but they also didn’t make me feel like a shitty person. It was because of them that I’d been able to get through some of the darkest times in my life.
I was lucky.
Micah released my hand, running his fingers through his hair. He stopped under a streetlight, the yellow glow illuminating his face. “I thought I wanted to know how you know him,” he said, not needing to explain whohewas. “But now I don’t. It doesn’t matter. The only thing I care about is you, and I’m not saying this as a controlling, possessive boyfriend who’s insecure and jealous as fuck.”
My lips twitched. If anyone was jealous in this relationship, that title went to me. Insecurities were a motherfucker.
“But you need to stay away from Sterling,” Micah warned with a trace of desperation that I’d never heard from him before.
Surprise fluttered into my chest and something else. An emotion I couldn’t quite grasp. Sadness, perhaps? “Why? What is it?” I could tell something weighed on him. What did he know about Sterling that I didn’t? But to be fair, I knew very little about him… nowandthen. I hadn’t wanted to know anything. Not even his name.
His gaze held mine. “I don’t have the answers yet, but he’s bad news, Mads. I can feel it.”
The new phone I picked up before dinner buzzed in the back pocket of my white jeans. I ignored the persistent rumble. It was most likely Kenna, wondering where I was or wanting to complain about having to leave early. She would have to wait. “Is that why you were there tonight?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Micah.” I sighed, stirrings of worry fluttering in my gut. “I don’t want you getting into any trouble.” It was the first day of school, for heaven’s sake. Was it too much to hope that the quiet we had over the summer would carry into college?
“Trouble seems to find me. Trust me, I didn’t go looking for this.”
No, he hadn’t. I had brought Sterling into this. Whatever had Micah feeling uneasy, it had been enough to check Sterling out after only one short meeting.
That he’d gone to Sterling's house to satisfy a hunch didn’t shock me. This was the Elite. It was what they did. They found out your secrets, even the ones you thought were buried deep, without a trace. And then they kept that information tucked away to hold over your head. I didn’t have any idea the number of people they had collected information on over the years, but this was a new place, a new crowd, and plenty of scandals.
I had seriously hoped the four of them had put their littlehobbybehind them.
It didn’t look that way. Some habits die hard.
Micah reached out and grabbed my hand, yanking me toward his chest. I tumbled into him, his hands already around my waist to steady me. He pressed his cheek against mine, his lips hovering close to my ear. Through his shirt, his heart beat rapidly with mine.