“You know who you are. You’re still you. You’re one of us.” His words were sincere and washed over me like a warm blanket. Secure and soft. He had no idea what that meant to me.
Because my throat clogged with emotion and the urge to thank him yet again rose, I said nothing and only nodded.
“Get some sleep,” he said, before he left, shutting the door quietly behind him.
Alone, I stood near the door, uncertain about everything, including what to do next. My arms folded around myself in a hug as I waited for the surge of panic to grip me, but it never came. After a moment of just breathing, I realized it was because I felt secure here, just as I did with Brock.
Curious, I wandered through my sister’s room, trying to get a sense of the virtual stranger who was a part of me. Fairy lights framed the white headboard of the queen-sized bed. In the corner near a window hung an egg-shaped chair, a fuzzy lavender blanket draped over the cushioned seat, the same color as the walls. I ran a finger along the dresser, reading the labels on the perfume bottles. Unable to help myself, I picked up one and sniffed the cap. Pictures of Kenna and her friends framed the vanity mirror. Mads was in almost every one. I recognized a few of the girls from school, including one with Ava. Apparently, Kenna had been on the cheerleading squad.
So much personality lived in this room.
It allowed me to learn a little more about Kenna.
Hesitantly, I padded over to the bed and sank down. I should probably text Mads and Ainsley, let them know where I was, but as I stared at my phone, I didn’t have the energy to make those calls or send the texts.
Tomorrow. I’d tell them tomorrow.
I had just settled into bed when a soft knock came at the door. “Come in,” I called.
Mrs. Edwards’s reassuring smile greeted me as the door gently opened. She carried a tray with a small plate and a white cup. “I thought you might like some tea before bed. It might help warm you up after being out in the rain.”
I tried to recall if Angie had ever brought me tea in bed. “Thank you, that sounds wonderful, but you didn’t have to go to the trouble.”
“No trouble at all. It helps me, reminds me of times when my children needed me.” She set the tray on the nightstand, and I saw the plate had cookies on it.
“You miss that,” I said.
Her gaze swept over the room before landing back on me. “Very much. The only time they allow me to dote on them now is if they’re sick, and even then it’s not the same.”
“Well, you’ve done a remarkable job raising them. I wouldn’t have gotten through the last few weeks without Grayson.”
“You have no idea how nice it is to hear. It hasn’t always been easy for him. I hope you don’t think it too forward, but I want you to know that you are safe here. If there is one thing we don’t tolerate in this house, it’s bullying.” She’d already had one daughter subjected to something traumatic and lost a son.
My heart ached for both of us. Tears misted in my eyes. I hadn’t been or felt safe in a long time, not like I did right then.
“Well, I’ll let you get to bed. It’s very nice to meet you, Josie.”
Chapter Nineteen
Iwouldn’t call what zoomed inside my belly butterflies. It was more like a swarm of bees buzzing around inside me, stinging me, poisoning me with their venom.
Today I went back to the Academy.
My nightmare hadn’t ended the moment I stepped foot inside the Edwards’ home, despite how sheltered I felt within the walls of this large house. Sure, last night I slept soundly and without any horrible dreams, but it didn’t matter.
Awake or asleep, my demons waited.
Grayson drove me to school after a quick breakfast. Both his parents were already deep in work when we trotted downstairs. His dad was in the middle of negotiations for a new film, which meant long days and nights while he was home. I had yet to see him, but it was probably for the best. My stomach couldn’t handle any more anxiety. I was already seconds away from hurling the toast I managed to wash down with a cup of coffee.
Grayson steered the Viper onto Crest Boulevard, heading to school. “Are you nervous?”
I pulled my gaze from the window to regard him. “No, why?”
“Because you can’t sit still,” he commented, eyes drifting to my bouncing knee.
“Shit,” I mumbled, placing my hands over my legs to stop the jumbled nerves. “Honestly, I just want this day to be over. Fuck, I want this year to be over.”
“Look, I won’t lie to you. Things will be different when we get to school,” he warned.