Couldn’t he see that?
I had myself to blame. Why had I ever thought I could keep things casual? And despite his reasons, I couldn’t sit by and watch him with another girl, even it if was all a sham. My heart wasn’t built to withstand that kind of pain, jealousy, and betrayal. I felt all in abundance.
A part of me knew Brock would never really let me go, but the big question was could I stay away from him? Did I want to?
Not really, a loud voice boomed in my head.
If I could admit that to myself, then I also realized something had to change. I needed to do something. Drastic measures and all that shit.
I skipped the Friday night football game for several reasons; my horrible track record with football games and avoiding Brock were the top two contenders. Instead, I stayed home with Liana and Chandler, who also missed the game at Grayson’s suggestion. When they were home, his parents usually went to watch him play, but Grayson thought it might be nice if the three of us had some time alone.
Grayson knew precisely why I didn’t want to go to the game, and he didn’t push. I silently thanked him.
It was nice, spending a night with my bio parents. They succeeded in diverting my thoughts from Brock, if only for a few hours. Chandler grilled kabobs, like grilled them himself. Of course, the kitchen prepped the kabobs, but still, I was impressed. When he noticed my lifted brow, he told me grilling calmed him and made him feel manly.
Liana and I laughed. It felt so good to laugh—to be worry-free, if only for a few hours.
I often found them gazing at me like they couldn’t believe I was real. That feeling also resided in me when I looked at them. Surreal.
The night ended too quickly, and before long, I was surrounded by darkness, tossing and turning in bed. No matter how many diversions I tempted my brain with, my thoughts always went back to Brock. Was I really giving up? I’d meant what I said. I was done waiting, done with the games.
If Ava weren’t a factor, would Brock want us to be more than just fuck buddies?
Sometime after midnight, I heard Grayson come home. I contemplated rolling out of bed and talking to him, but it wasn’t fair to him put in the middle of Brock’s and my drama. I couldn’t do that.
So I suffered with my obsessive thoughts alone in the dark, refusing to cry. Brock Taylor was not worth my tears… so I kept telling myself.
I slept very little, my emotions flip-flopping between gut-wrenching sadness and such flaming anger that when the sun rose over the hills, I hoped Brock had suffered as much as I had. More so.
* * *
I planned to do absolutely nothing all weekend and managed to do just that most of Saturday until the Elite showed up. Well, three out of four. Brock was absent, which should have been a good thing, considering I wasn’t ready to see the asshole yet, but somehow that wasn’t the case. The disappointment that settled within me was very fucking real. I assumed they were here for Grayson, but when I noticed Mads was with them, it became clear that the group was up to something.
I should have headed upstairs and locked myself in Kenna’s room. That would have been the smart option.
Grayson turned on the gas fireplace on the backyard patio. It was cool tonight. The air had a bite to it, and the warmth that emitted from the fire was nice. Grayson sat down on one of the beach-style chairs that circled the fire pit. He stretched out his legs and asked me, “What happened between you and Brock?”
Unease twisted in my chest. Had Brock said something to them? “Nothing, why?” I replied, trying to stick to the plan to keep Grayson out of the middle.
Orange and yellow flames licked over the lava rocks, casting shadows over Fynn’s face. He sat directly across from me. “Because he is acting as mopey as you are. We almost lost the game last night. His head wasn’t in it.”
I’d heard about the close call at breakfast this morning. “What makes you think that has anything to do with me?”
The three guys gave me pointed looks that apparently spoke volumes.
I sighed. “Whatever. Tell him to stop being a stupid prick. This shit with Ava has gone on too long. I told him I was over it yesterday. That’s what happened.”
“You did what?” Surprise fluttered over Mads’s face. For once she didn’t light up.
Micah rocked his chair back on two legs. “You know, you are the first girl he has ever treated like this. That means something.”
I shrugged. “Maybe, but he has a funny way of showing it.”
Fynn tossed a stray lava rock into the fire. “That might be true, but for Brock, this is his way of showing you just how much he cares. He wouldn’t go to such lengths for anyone. He’s doing it for you.”
“Stop being reasonable,” I muttered, stretching my feet closer to the warmth. “I don’t like it.”
Fynn’s lips twitched.