Everything, an evil voice inside my head whispered.
Not true. I’d already been done the road of losing everything.
“Depends, are you going to tell me what happened?” I asked. He’d needed me for a reason. I wanted him to open up and share that part of himself. The good. The bad. And the ugly.
“We fucked,” he stated crassly because he knew it would rile me.
“Don’t be stupid. That’s not what I meant. You know it.” I pushed a finger into his chest, giving it a hard shove. The bastard didn’t move or flinch, just blinked at me like he was made of steel.
Brock pressed his lips together, his emotions a mask, tucked and hidden away. “I thought we had an agreement. Isn’t that whatyouwanted, what you suggested?”
“Screw you for tossing it back into my face.” My hands pressed on his chest as I jumped off the counter, adjusting my panties back into place. I bent down and reached for my shorts. “You’re saying nothing has changed? You are still going forward with your idiotic plan?”
“Josie.”
“Don’t Josie me. And don’t pretend you’re doing this for me. You’re the one who wants to punish her. I am more than capable of hurting Ava my own way, in my own time. I never asked you to do this.”
He tucked himself back into his boxers, zipping up his pants. “No, but it’s what we do.”
“And if I asked you to stop?” I pressed, not letting let up for a heartbeat. I would challenge Brock every step of the way. He had become important to me—too fucking important. And that was where the problem lay. I had set the ground rules. Now I wanted to alter them, but not just alter, I wanted to knock them all down.
I wanted him to love me.
Silence. His straight lips didn’t budge.
“That’s what I thought.” Straightening the rest of my clothes, I shook my head. “I’m done. This thing between us, whatever the fuck it is, it’s over. Next time you need a fuck, go find Ava.” I spun, intending to storm out. Brock didn’t let me.
His hand flashed out, grabbing onto my wrists, twirling me back around to face him. “It’s not over until I say it is, Firefly.”
“Bullshit,” I spat. “Those words we shared, they meant nothing. It was just a fuck, right. You might think you own me, but you don’t. The sooner you get that through your thick skull, the easier this will be. You might run this school, but only I get to say who touches me. After today, you lost that privilege.”
The fingers on my wrist tightened. “Are you saying what just happened was a mistake?”
“Fuck yes. Never again,” I swore.
“Now who is bullshitting? You can deny it all you want, Firefly, but you want me as much as I want you. That is something you can just flip off. We belong together.”
Those words were so damn close to what I wanted to hear that I nearly caved. My heart soared in my chest, urging me to throw myself into his arms.
I didn’t. I stayed firm and planted. “Maybe I can’t just flip off my feelings, but I’ve decided I don’t want to do casual. Turns out, I’m not as impervious to catching feelings as I thought.”
He released my wrist, forking a hand through his hair, a deep scowl on his swollen lips. “You expect me to just let you walk out after you say something like that?”
I shot up a brow. “Do you really have a choice?”
“Don’t do this.” His face contoured into something that almost mirrored hurt.
My chin lifted just a fraction as I strengthened the last bit of shield around my heart. “I think we both know you won’t give me what I need.” This time when I turned to leave, he didn’t stop me. That was all the answer I needed.
I walked out of the boys’ locker room without a glance back, despite my heart splintering into a million little pieces.
Chapter Twenty-One
Imust have emitted bad day vibes. I’d never been through so many highs and lows in a single week. It had to be a record, and I couldn’t help thinking the universe had to cut me a break. I was due one, right? Like gacha games, I had to be approaching pity; the odds had to be in my favor after all the shit I’d been through.
Being that it was Friday night in November, Elmwood Academy had a football game. One of the few left in the season. After my incident with Brock in the locker room, I was in no mood to don my pom-poms and cheer from the stands, not that I would ever do that. The point was, I just wanted to stay home and wallow in my heartache, because it turned out, walking away from Brock ripped my heart to pieces.
I fucking loved the jackass.