She scooted in closer to me, folding her legs pretzel style on the bed. “Promise me that no matter what, we’ll still be friends.”
A chill went down my back. I didn’t like this. “Mads, you’re starting to freak me out.”
“I’m serious. Promise me.”
“I promise.” And I meant it. How the hell would I survive the Academy without her as my friend? I’d be stuck eating lunch outside behind a bush.
“God, I could really use a cigarette.” She pulled out a piece of gum from the side pocket on her yoga pants and popped it in her mouth. “Grayson and Kenna were close, really close. After Sawyer died, their whole family fell apart. It was bad. Sawyer loved to make people laugh. He was naturally a fun guy, someone you always wanted around. He was popular. After the accident, Kenna took it hard. She pretended otherwise, and only Grayson and I really knew how messed up she was inside. She began partying too much, hanging out with the wrong crowd, basically shutting out everyone who cared for her. That was two years ago.” Mads took a breath as if preparing herself.
I stayed silent and patient, giving her all the time she needed. Had Kenna died? Had Grayson lost both his brother and sister? Dread sank inside me. No wonder he was so angry all the time.
“I know what you’re thinking. Kenna isn’t dead, at least not literally. She suffers from depression and has for a long time. It was something she battled every day, but she never gave up. And because I can see the question in your eyes, she was… close to Brock. They weren’t exclusive, not yet, but they might have been if Carter hadn’t gotten in the way.”
Carter? What did he have to do with Kenna?
My mind whirled. Just how did Grayson feel about one of his best friends messing around with his sister? Grayson didn’t strike me as a guy who would make it easy for anyone to date his sister, even more so if it was a friend.
The glittering emotion in Mads's eyes tugged at my heart. It also diminished the arrow of jealousy spearing through me at the thought of Brock with another girl, especially one who looked like me. I didn’t know how I felt about that. Was that the reason he was so hot and cold with me? Was I some sort of warped replacement for Kenna?
I was going to be sick.
“After the homecoming game, Grayson threw one of his legendary parties,” she continued, lost in her memories. “The entire football team was there, including Carter. Like Brock, Carter was popular, on the football team, and had a reputation with the girls. I don’t know why, but Kenna caught his eye. He started to flirt with her. She liked the attention, something she desperately wanted. And Carter didn’t have the entire female population at school trying to get into his pants. Not like Brock did. There were always girls hanging around Brock. Kenna wasn’t good with the competition.”
I didn’t like where this story was going and wasn’t sure I could stomach the rest.
“Everyone was drinking, dancing, and having a good time. At least I thought we were having a good time. I got so wasted that night and passed out in Grayson’s room.” Her voice hitched, and I could see that there was such guilt in her eyes. I reached over and put my hand over hers, squeezing it. She took another long breath and went on. “But Kenna, her night wasn’t as fun as the rest of ours. Carter had slipped her something in her drink. No one saw him do it, but football players talk, and someone like Carter likes to brag about his conquests.”
“Oh God,” I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth. He didn’t. But even as the thought fluttered through my mind, I knew damn well that Carter was capable of doing something so seedy and invasive. It turned my blood cold.
Mads was in a trance, swept back to the horror of two years ago. “He took advantage of her, left her passed out and alone. She swears he didn’t rape her, but afterward, Kenna was so ashamed. It sent her spiraling into a dark place. Things only got worse. The bastard took pictures of her and sent them around the school, saying how she was a sloppy lay or if you wanted a good time to call Kenna, stupid juvenile shit like that.”
I never expected to have sympathy for a girl who was possibly in love with Brock, but how could I not? Carter had violated her. Someone I knew to be capable of doing such heinous things. He was lower than scum. I couldn’t think of a word to describe just how deplorable he was.
And he was my stepbrother.
I felt dirty, and I had done nothing wrong, but it didn’t change the fact that I wanted to shower and scrub myself clean of him.
Mads clung to my hand as if she needed me to anchor her to the present. “As you can imagine, once the guys found out, they went apeshit. That was the incident that almost landed them in jail. Grayson wanted to kill Carter for what he’d done to Kenna and might have if the other guys hadn’t stopped him. They were able to talk sense into him with a promise that they would get Carter back without getting caught.”
“What happened to Kenna?” I softly asked.
“She never pressed charges against Carter. She was too embarrassed to go to the police, too fragile, which is exactly the kind of girl Carter preys on. He knew she wouldn’t want the negative attention. Kenna was popular. And that acceptance, however misplaced, was all she had. No one wanted to push her over the edge. So she left, transferred schools and went to live with a relative. No one at school knows where.”
I understood what she was silently telling me with her gaze. “You don’t have to tell me. In fact, don’t tell me. I don’t want any chance of Carter ever finding out where she is.”
Relief breezed through her body. “I’m sure he believes that he got away with what he did, which only makes him more dangerous. You have to be careful around him, Josie. I know you already know that, especially with what happened to you after the game. I never should have made you go.” Her voice was heavy with regret.
I squeezed her hand, bringing her bright gaze back to mine. “You didn’t. I won't have you blaming yourself for Carter’s fucked-up actions.”
“I was so scared when I saw him grab you. It was like Kenna all over again. I couldn’t do anything to save you and I imagined her feeling that way. She was on suicide watch for months after a failed attempt.” She choked on the last part, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Oh, Mads,” I cried, wrapping my arms around her. Her shoulders shook as the tears fell. I held her, letting her cry until she was spent. My own eyes filled with water. I cried with my friend and for the girl I’d never met but felt a kinship with. “Jesus. No wonder they hate him so much,” I said as we both wiped at our eyes. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I didn’t realize how much I needed to tell you her story.”
“I’m glad you did,” I said softly and soothingly. “I needed to hear it, needed to know just how dangerous Carter really is.”
“Just be careful. I don’t have to say it, but the guys have been waiting for the right opportunity to get revenge. They are going to make Carter pay without getting any of the blowback.”