“I’ve missed you,” I whispered.
“We saw each other yesterday morning,” she reminded me softly. Her eyes looked huge in her pale face, a little shadowed underneath, as if she hadn’t slept. I could see the emotion swirling in the brown depths.
“Let’s talk and eat,” I suggested, wanting to lighten the mood a bit.
We ate in silence for a few minutes, Erika picking at her food. I was coming to realize that was something she did when she was uncomfortable.
“It feels like you’re avoiding me. Is something wrong?” I asked. “Did I do something to upset you?”
Her gaze shot up to mine.
“No, not at all.”
“I like you Erika, I really like you, and I think we could have something great here. But I feel like you’re pulling away,” I said.
We’d spent a fabulous night together after the wedding but when we’d gotten up yesterday morning, Erika had seemed distant. She’d rushed around to leave my cabin, refusing my offer for breakfast, saying she needed to get back to the city.
I’d run into April and Jonathon having breakfast in the main restaurant. They shared that April had popped over to say goodbye to them and then headed out.
“What’s going on with you two?” April had asked. “I thought things were going well but she seemed really rushed to leave this morning.”
“I think she’s freaking out,” I’d told April. “I love her. I know it sounds ridiculous when we’ve only known each other a few days, but I’ve had enough experience with the wrong women to know when I’ve found the right one.”
“Aww, that’s so great,” April gushed. “But the thing about my mom is, she’s kept herself distant from everyone since we reconnected. It’s like she’s afraid to get too close. She acted shocked that I invited her to the wedding, as if I wouldn’t invite my own mother. She needs to...I guess she just needs to know that it’s okay to receive love again, you know? I’m not sure if she’s afraid to hurt us, or afraid of getting hurt herself.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
“If you really love her, you’re going to need to fight for her. Convince her to take a chance.”
“I’m not pulling away,” Erika denied, pulling my attention back to the present. “We’re back to real life now. I have a job and responsibilities and you have your company to run and your galas to attend.”
My eyes narrowed. That was a weird thing to say. I wondered if she’d googled me. I’d been at an event at the Met last month, and I knew there were pictures of that on the internet.
“What are you talking about?”
She sighed and set her chopsticks down on her plate.
“Look Reed, I had a great time with you at Mountain Ridge, injuries aside, and I like you too. Too much, maybe. But that was all a vacation bubble. In the real world, we don’t fit. You’re a wealthy CEO and me, well, I’m just a counselor who lives in a one-bedroom apartment and buys most of her clothes at Target. I’m not the woman you take to some fancy event at the Met.”
Yep, she’d definitely googled me.
“I don’t think this is about our careers or going to the Met, I think this is about you being afraid.”
“I’m not afraid!” she protested.
“I don’t pretend to understand everything you’ve gone through, Erika, but here’s what I see. You’ve been successful in your recovery for many years, you’ve been back in a relationship with your family, you have a good job, you have people who love you, but it’s like you’re still punishing yourself for everything that happened in the past. If April and Jack can forgive you, why can’t you forgive yourself?”
“I have.”
“Are you sure? Because the thing is, it doesn’t seem that way.”
I paused, then looked her straight in the eye so she could see my sincerity. “I love you Erika.”
She gasped.
“You can’t love me.”
“Sure I can. You’re very lovable. You’re the only one who doesn’t see that.”