My excuse of needing the bathroom gives me time to check out the contents of the shelves on my own, but nothing really stands out. Not that I recognize anyway, so I move on, dragging a finger across the titles as I read them. The lack of attention to my surroundings nearly has me walking into a man, I barely stop, inches from stepping on his boot-clad foot.
I look up, and then up some more, before I reach his face. For a brief moment I swear recognition flits through me, and that it’s echoed in the man’s cerulean gaze. Shaking off the nonsensical notion-- he resembles one of the guys and that must be what I’m picking up on, I glance away from him, trying to figure out how he’s managed to sneak up on me. There isn’t a hidden alcove, so I must have just been spacing out. Embarrassing considering the near mishap, but likely not nefarious on his part. Figuring my weird, silent, deductions need to come to an end, I introduce myself.
“Hello, I’m Cora, uh, do you work here? Oh, and umm... sorry about almost running you over, I wasn’t really paying attention.” I shut my mouth at the amused curve of his lips wincing in embarrassment. Could I be any more awkward?
The man doesn’t seem to think anything of it and sketches a short bow. “I do, after a fashion. Work here, that is. Were you looking for something in particular?” He doesn’t give me his name, and I don’t want to be rude by asking him, but if he does actually work for the school he should have identified himself. Since he’s not making me uncomfortable in the least, quite the opposite actually, I let it go.
“Not really, no. Kent, the person on duty tonight, has gone to find some research materials for one of my classes. I’m just browsing while I wait.” Why am I volunteering that I’m alone for chrissake? The first frisson of concern breaks through my happy little bubble. I know that feeling. “I think I’ll just go wait up front. Kent should be back any second now.”
I begin to edge away from the tall man, hopefully in the direction that leads to the few people in the library. Hoping like hell that I’m wrong, my gaze darts from one wrist to the other. There’s not a blue mark-- it’s silver. I blanch at the sight so fast, my head feels light. Refusing to stay near him for another second, my feet pick up the pace as I keep one eye on him and try to watch where I’m going out of the corner of the other.
“Wait, please!” The man holds his hands up in an attempt to appear non-threatening. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I only wanted to help. I should probably have led with that. Here,” he tips a slim, leatherbound book partially back so that it protrudes from the others around it. “Read it. Please.”
As if sensing that I’m not going anywhere near him, curious about the book or not, he backs away. He comes up against the wall at the end of the row-- and continues right though it, disappearing into dark wood paneling like it isn’t even there. “What the fuck, dude. Seriously. What. The. Fuck.” I’m shaking and talking to myself in the deserted stacks of a library on the grounds run by a freaky ass cult...where I just watched a man sink into a wall. I want to go home. It isn’t even that I want my mom. I want Kael, and I want to have never come to this place.
The panic attack is swift and grips my chest in a vise until I can’t breathe. I know what it is, and that it will pass. I just have to try to make my lungs work and calm down. You can do it Cora. Or Kent will find your unconscious body. The latter thought sends a spiral of disgust and fear through me strong enough to distract me from my freakout. It takes a few minutes, and a lot of measured breathing, but I finally get myself under control.
Kent isn’t back, and I don’t want to have to explain why I’ve barely moved, or have him think I’m waiting for him, so I start to backtrack to my nook. At the last second, before I round the corner, I dart back to grab the book. Something tells me if I deliberately leave it behind that I’ll never find it again. I keep it tucked under my arm all the way back to where I left my backpack, only taking one wrong turn before I find it.
I take my seat, but before I can tuck the book into my bag, Kent appears, arms full of books. He must have taken a different route back from the basement or he would have seen me. At least I know there’s more than one exit down there.
“Here you go. These cover quite a few years of classes.” He fans out a pile of yearbooks on the small table. “And these are memoirs from some of the founding members of the academy. Back before they changed it to a university.” So that’s why they call it Blackbrian Academy. I’d kinda thought they were just stuck up elitists.
“Are you sure it’s okay to check these out? They don’t have any barcodes on them.” The books are old by appearance alone, and I can’t imagine that the administration wants them leaving the library.
“There’s a special catalog for these kinds of checkouts. I’ll note them down and then you’ll be good to go.” Kent actually checks his watch, right there in front of me. It makes me wonder what happened while he was gone. His distinct lack of enthusiasm is a one-eighty that I’m perfectly fine with, but paired with his blatant glance at the timepiece on his wrist, it’s pining on my bullshit radar. Then I notice what I haven’t before. I can only attribute it to the longer way he wears his sleeves and my inattention, but when he pushes his sleeve back down I catch the barest edge of blue before it’s covered up. Of course he’s in on it too. His brand of creepy, paired with the tattoo, has me vowing never to end up alone with him again, period.
“Thanks, Kent. I appreciate it. Would you mind taking them up for me? I’m sorry to be a pain, but I’m not supposed to carry anything too heavy yet. One of the guys should be here shortly to get me.” Even if he scares the crap out of me, I don’t want him to think I’m diva. But I don’t want him to think I’m weak or alone either.
He nods, friendly enough, and gathers the books back up--including the one I’d pilfered. My teeth clamp down on my lip in an effort not to protest him picking it up. He’ll know right away that it’s not one he picked out. But either he doesn’t notice, or he thinks I’m flirting with him, because his dark stare zeroes in mouth, prompting me to quickly let my lip go. Through sheer force of will, I withhold my urge to shudder. Gathering the last book, he picks up the towering stack and leaves me to follow.
Needing to make sure one of the guys comes to get me ASAP, I pull out my phone to message them in a group thread that I'm ready to go. I’d turned it on silent and stuck it in my bag before the guys dropped me off. Now, pulling it out of the pocket, my notifications bar is full--and the numbers are from the facility Kael is in. My heart plummets to my feet as I load the voicemails, library rules be damned. The first is Debbie, explaining that someone the files got mixed up or I’d have been called earlier and that Kael is stable for now. What the hell does she mean, for now?
I have to find out what's happened, but I'm afraid to get caught making the call. After what I saw tonight, and the guys refusal to explain things without permission, keeping Kael a secret is paramount. Acting as normal as possible, I keep my pace restrained on the way up to the desk.
Kent only has one book left besides the one I'd picked up to mark down in his register, but instead of writing it in, he picks it up with the other on top of it and places them both on the pile. I'm too worried to ponder the peculiarity of it and thank him again for his help.
"Anytime, Mistress Cordelia. If you could have them back in a week, I'd appreciate it. I personally vouched for you taking them out of the library in the notes." His stiff, formal address is yet another clue that something happened while he was gone.
"I'll get them back as soon as possible, thank you again." I slide them all into my backpack, but pause when he tilts his head with his eyes narrowed in confusion. Remembering I'd just had him Carey them because I shouldn't, I explain, "I'm only going to sit them outside while I wait for my escort. It will be fine for that long." And it's true, the desk isn't far from the entrance.
He nods, silently accepting my explanation and I don't waste any time shouldering the bag and booking it out of there. Even though I'm still tired, my body does still feel better.