“I can’t forget it, though. Even if I said the words right now, I’d always have that thought in my head. That he had fucked you before me. That he got to you first.”
“I...I—” I stammered, and he cut me off.
“Are you still a virgin?”
“I don’t know,” I said, and my eyes dropped in shame. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Then let’s fucking find out,” he roared and reached for me. All at once, he was muscle and iron will dragging me towards his bed. I wanted to scream for him to stop it, to let me go or treat me like a lady, but there was some dark fascination inside of me that wanted this to play out.
I wanted him to take me, to punish me for the woman I’d been, even if she wasn’t part of me anymore.
In short, I wanted Alexander Remington to claim me. I wanted him to unleash his anger into me and burn me alive with his white hot desires.
I wanted him.
I wanted us.
CHAPTER19
“Why don’twe see what’s under that skirt of yours, little slut?” Alexander spat, and his voice sounded so much like his father’s that I recoiled and tried to curl up in a ball. “Why don’t you show me how much of a slut you’ve been for Luke while I thought we were waiting until marriage!”
“You haven’t fucked anybody?” I exclaimed, struggling against him. He was so much larger than I was, but I was angry and a determined bitch when I needed to be. I’d been knocked around so much by these people already. I was done with their attempts to dominate me. Alexander wasn’t going to turn into his father. I refused to let him. “Come on, a big sexy stud like you? Walking around campus, swinging your dick and all your money? I’ll bet the girls have been throwing their pussies at you for years.”
He winced at that, and I took the opportunity to twist around and kick him in the balls.
I didn’t kick hard. I mean, they were mine in the end, after all. And I wanted them to work. I didn’t want Alexander too injured to fool around over the break.
He felt it, though. He doubled over with a grunt and said, “Fuck, Willow. Why?”
I leaped away like some crazed, long-legged deer and immediately became tangled in my own feet and pitched forward. The floor was rising up to meet me, but Alexander, despite his own pain, snaked his hands out to catch me.
“Let me go!” I said and pushed him away. “Keep your fucking hands off me!”
The fear did something to me then. I felt like I was back in the Pit, and Alexander’s father had been replaced by the man I love. Alexander himself was the one who had dragged me down there and left me in the dark.
“Come on, let’s not do this now,” he pleaded and held his hand out like he could see the deer inside my bones. The terrifying creature that wanted to leap out of her own skin and plummet off the balcony to the ground below, only to disappear into the thick forest beyond. “Come on, Willow. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay!” I yelled with a sharp edge of hysteria, making my voice brittle and fractured. “It’s never been okay, Alexander. Never! You know why I turned to Luke. You know what drove me to his arms.”
It was a shot in the dark, but I hit my target. He visibly pulled back from me and dropped his head into his hand. He didn’t look at me or respond for a long minute, and finally, he drew in a breath and tilted his head up.
“Yeah, I guess I do,” he said. “I deserved that. It’s because of Victoria, isn’t it?”
“You fucked Victoria?” I shrieked, and the fear and anger tumbled out of me, taking on lives of their own. “Fucking Victoria?”
“I thought you knew!” he said, betrayed by my trap. A shadow crossed over his face then, and his lips pressed into a grim line. His beautiful, full lips that normally curled into a playful smile set on his perfect face. The smooth angled of his cheeks were dotted with stubble, and he looked so dangerous at that moment that my heart began to pound, but my pussy began to throb.
I liked it when he was dangerous. I didn’t know why.
“I didn’t know. I tricked you,” I said and narrowed my eyes. My chin thrust out as I looked up at him. “I knew there would be a reason I’d fool around with Luke. I fucking knew it.”
“You were a fucking ice queen to me,” he glowered. “You wouldn’t even hold my hand. You’d slap me away any time I tried to touch you, except when we were on display. In public, you would hang off my arm and give me the sweetest kisses. They’d make my cock so hard and soften my feelings towards you.”
His voice sounded so thick with emotion I half expected him to crumble like I normally did.
But he didn’t. He stayed strong and looked down at me with his hawkish eyes, the ones that pierced through me and watched every little thing I did even when he didn’t know I could see him. He was always looking at me, always looking for a reason to be disappointed.
At least that’s what I thought. I always thought that about him, but now I wasn’t so sure.