And then he came, exploding inside of me, hot liquid melting me in his hands all over again.
We gasped our final hits of pleasure together and he held me against his chest, in his arms.
He dropped back and we laid there together on the bed for a few panting breaths. I simply existed in the moment, connected with Kingston, his seed inside of me, our hearts franticly keeping time together as the sweet scent of sex wafted around me.
We couldn’t stay like that for long, though. Amara waited.
“You know I’d love to stay here all day,” I said. “But Amara scares me more than you turn me on.”
“Oh god, me too,” he said and pretended to roll away in horror. Then he laughed and pulled me back into his arms and kissed the top of my head. “One of these days our world won’t be so crazy and we’ll have time for long, lazy days in bed. I promise. Once the Organization threat is gone, we’ll spend hours, days, months in bed. Fuck college, I want a degree in loving you.”
“Aww, sounds like a plan,” I grinned. “I might like something like that. I could get used to doing something like this.”
“Me too,” he said and kissed me again. “But sadly you’re right, Amara is scary and I don’t want to piss her off.”
“Okay, we’re in agreement. We need to go,” I laughed.
We got up, had a quick shower, and headed out in search of our afternoon training session.
It was bittersweet. I got to spend time with Kingston, a thing I craved, but I had to do it while sparring.
I didn’t hurt him, though, and Amara didn’t let him hurt me. But it did define where we were at in our lives. There was no time for leisure, no time for languid days of love. This was an emergency, we were under attack even if we hadn’t heard directly from the Organization since I escaped. With the way they were always lurking in the background, we had to be prepared no matter the cost.
I just hoped it wasn’t going to take much longer, I didn’t know if I could face a lifetime of this. I didn’t want to turn out like my father, able to switch from friendly and joyful to steely eyed deadly killer at the drop of a hat.
But I didn’t know how I was able to stop it from happening.
Later that night, I was with my four guys in the rec room of my new mansion. I still couldn’t believe it was mine, and this was my life. There was a disconnect that still frizzled in my brain when I thought about it too hard.
Half of my head was still living in the past, a year ago, when I was on Christmas break from Oakville High. When Penny and I had been making plans for our New Year’s Eve party at her place. It was another lifetime ago and I was a different person back then.
I liked to think I hadn’t lost my good parts. I wanted to think I was still essentially the big hearted, kind girl I’d been.
But I was also darker than that girl. That girl had kept the darkness hidden and tried to fight it, which had led to my outbursts or ideas of suicide.
Current me embraced the dark and tamed it, curled it around my fingers and played with it like it was my pet, a part of me.
I was the darkness now, and I sometimes let it envelope me, like the moment when I’d picked up the box cutter and slit Thackeray’s throat.
“What are you thinking about?” Ryker asked, sitting down next to me. We were doing a Fast and Furious marathon and it was easy for me to daydream while the movies were on. They were definite guy movies, and even though I was getting tougher with every passing day, I was still a girl through and through.
But it was four against one for voting, and not a single one of them wanted to watch a Christmas romance with me.
Although I could have convinced them, if I really wanted it. That was the funny thing about them all. Anything I wanted, I got, if it came down to it.
“I’m thinking about life and how I never thought I’d be happy to have a weird side,” I said. He put his arm around me, on the back of the sofa, and I curled up against the warmth of his body. The other three were in theatre style seats closer to the screen, so I appreciated Ryker’s attention.
“You don’t have a weird side, you have a warrior’s side,” Ryker said. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I love how hard you can fight. I love how you can embrace it and own it. You don’t shy away from it, and that’s what makes you so amazing, princess.”
I snuggled closer to him and said, “Thank you, that’s what I needed to hear.”
“I’ve got more where that came from,” he said with a laugh. I ran my fingers along his forearm where he had a beautiful tattoo of a dragon. Something occurred to me then.
I turned to look up at him and said, “I want one.”
“You want what?” he asked, furrowing his brow.
“One of these,” I said. “I want a tattoo.”