He pointed a knowing finger at me. “It’s probably very unprofessional for me, your boss, to be talking to you about this stuff but you just—get it.”
He was a little tipsy, but then again, so was I.
I put my drink down and placed my hand gently on his arm. “Listen, Jonah, I made a lot of changes after my mom died. Everyone seemed to have an opinion regarding how I should grieve, how I should move on, and when, but none of them knew what was really right for me, because theyweren’tme. I had to make my own decisions, and deal with things in my own way. And that’s what I did. Look at me now, I’m on top of the world.”
He stared down at where my hand was. “Some people might say what you did was selfish,” he said. “But maybe it’s not so bad to be selfish sometimes. I know my mom is terrified that I’m going to die alone, and that Vic is going to grow up without a mother figure, but I can’t keep going on these dates just to appease her. Or Sean! You know, he only wants me to find a girlfriend so we can go on couples’ trips with him and his wife. If anything,he’sbeing selfish.”
I laughed. “Exactly.” I leaned in and waited until he met my gaze. “Jonah, it’s okay to know what you want in life and to take it. So, the question is—do you know what you want?”
He stared at me for a while before saying anything.
“I—I think I do.”
“Then take it,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
He exhaled. “I… I want—”
“Last call!” Sean’s voice echoed loudly over the lingering bar crowd, and the sound of his friend’s voice seemed to snap Jonah out of the moment. He drew back, shook his head, and took his arm out from under my grasp.
“It’s getting late,” he said. “I should get home. I have an early morning workout with my trainer, and he hates it when I show up tired.”
I felt a wave of disappointment break over the top of me, but I quickly managed to turn that disappointment into determination. So what if nothing happened tonight? I had all the time in the world, and if I was being perfectly honest, I liked this little game Jonah and I were playing. I wouldn’t mind if it went on for a little longer.
“I’ll walk you out,” I said. “I should go too.”
“Alright then,” he said. “Let me go close my tab.” I watched him walk away, and let my mind wander amongst thoughts of Jonah at the gym, sweating, panting, muscles rippling…
Suddenly, the idea of playing the long game seemed a lot less fun.
In fact, it seemed like pure torture.
Chapter Six
Jonah
Kat’s pale arms prickled with goosebumps as we stood outside waiting for our respective rides.
I started to shrug off my jacket and offer it to her, but she waved her hand at me. “I’m good,” she said. “My ride will be here any minute.”
In all honesty, I was glad she declined my offer. I was feeling very confused and flustered over what had just happened—oralmosthappened—in the bar, and the last thing I wanted to do was complicate things further.
I couldn’t believe I had almost kissed her. What a stupid move! Today was Kat’s first day at work, and somehow, I’d already become the creepy, older boss who hits on the new girl.
But Iwasn’tthat guy, at least, I didn’t think I was. There was just something so irresistible about her, and even though it had been a while since a woman had made the first move, since someone had really, truly flirted with me, I recognize it when I see it. And shewasflirting with me. She put her face right up next to mine, and smiled, showing off her dark red lipstick.
She wanted me to kiss her…
But that thought was no comfort to me. It only served to make me more uncomfortable. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and exhaled, my hot breath foggy amongst the chilly night air. I tried to come up with something casual to say, but my brain went blank. I heard the sound of feet shuffling behind me and turned to see Calvin stumbling outside with his arm around Sean’s shoulders.
“Hey,” I said. “I thought you left after your set.”
“No,” said Sean. “Turns out, he snuck into the back room and poured himself a few free drinks.”
“I’m celebrating,” Cal said, slurring his words a little. “My set was great! Marvelous! Best musical set of all time!”
“Why would you want to celebrate alone in the back room?” I frowned. “We were out in the main room drinking and having a grand time, why didn’t you come and join us?”
He made a face and then aimed it right at his sister. When I turned to look at Kat, she had her arms folded across her chest and her expression was halfway between annoyed and guilt-ridden. “He didn’t want to hang out with me,” she said. “He has decided that we’re not friends anymore.”