CHAPTER2
Chris
She cringes and backs away from me. I curl my fingers into the palms of my hands. I’m so damn furious, I’d like to punch something.
With a helluva lot of deep breathing and muttering under my breath, I yank myself under control. “Seriously, Car, what the hell? Did you know you were pregnant when I left?”
She shakes her head, the light platinum strands whipping along her high cheekbones, drawing my eyes to her lips and her fucking angelic face. Her pouty pink lips tighten but she doesn’t yell like I think she’s wanting to.
“No, I didn’t know.”
“You knew how to find me. Hell, I tried to call you forever. You never answered and you never called me back! Do you think I wouldn’t want to know that I had a child? That I wouldn’t provide for her?”
That gets her temper going. Her face turns red and her eyes flash golden fire. She stomps towards me and her finger jams me right in the chest. “I can provide for my daughter just fine. I don’t need help from anybody! Least of all you,” she spits out.
“What the hell are you pissed off about? I have the right to be pissed. I’m the one that didn’t know anything about my daughter for the last ten years for fuck’s sake! You’re the one in the wrong here, Car!”
She backs away and I see the regret on her face but she stays resolved. “I did what I thought was best. You were moving on. You wanted that better life so badly. I just couldn’t call you to come back here and get some dead-end job to take care of a child I knew you didn’t want!”
“You didn’t evenask!” I run my hands through my hair, the fury slowly subsiding to an ache in my heart. It was hard enough leaving Carinna but knowing that I left a piece of me with her is enough to make my heart break.
“I didn’t want to leave you, baby. Youtoldme to leave. Told me to go find that better life. It tore me apart to go.”
“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you!” Her hands wave around in the air and I have to smile. Lord, I used to love how vital she was. She couldn’t even talk without her hands emphasizing every point she was trying to make. Obviously that hasn’t changed at all. Not like the rest of her.
She’s still got the same pale blond hair but if anything it’s even lighter and instead of hanging half-way down her back, it’s cut so it swings free just under her jawline. And the body. Holy shit, the body! She was always beautifully curvy, but now she’s a freaking wet dream. Slim waist, rounded hips, long legs with thighs that are womanly and alluring. My eyes drift upwards to her breasts, my mouth watering. She always had a little extra up top but now they’re plump and luscious. Like ripe fruit begging for my hands and my mouth.
I jerk myself back when I feel my dick getting hard.Now is not the time for that, fucker!
Her golden-brown eyes widen and I see her back away. My lips tighten. “Don’t do that! Don’t act afraid of me. You know damn well I’d never hurt you. Never!”
“I don’t know you at all anymore. You’re a freaking country music star. You’re not the boy I knew. The boy who didn’t have money to even buy decent shoes. That boy is gone.”
I shake my head. “I’ve got things. That’s the only thing that’s changed. I’m the same guy that you grew up with, Car!”
“Stop calling me that! I’m not that little girl either, Chris. I’m a mother and a grown woman. I have been baptized in the fire of harsh reality. I’ve stood up for myself and my daughter and I’ve made a damn good life.”
I nod my head. “And you don’t want me messing up your perfect life. Is that what you’re telling me? That you don’t want or need me in your life anymore?” The hurt in my chest feels like somebody’s ripped my heart out and stomped all over it. But I don’t let it show on my face. If she senses any kind of weakness, she’ll go for the throat. Carinna isn’t a mean girl but she’s got an agenda and it seems like that doesn’t include me.
But that’s too damn bad. That little girl is mine. I’ve got rights as her father, even if up until this point I’ve been an absentee father. It’s not my fault.
I still have a hard time blaming her though. I think I know exactly why she did what she did, but it was destructive as hell. For me if no one else. It hurts to know that the little girl with the platinum blond hair just like her mother and my blue eyes has no idea that she’s my daughter. It hurts a helluva lot.
“I’m not specifically saying that, Chris. Not at all. Now that you know, I guess you have some rights but I’d like to be the one to tell Maddy. And I’d like to do it on my own time.”
I’m shaking my head before she even finishes. “I’m not waiting forever, Carinna. And you sound reasonable but I think you’re going to keep finding excuses not to tell her. And that’s not fair to either one of us. She deserves to know who her daddy is. And I deserve to be able to spend some time getting to know my daughter!”
Her amber eyes flick to something behind me and I turn to see Maddy on her way back with Hattie. “We’ll talk about this later. I need to get home and get dinner ready.” She holds up her hand when I open my mouth and I slam it closed, that anger building up again.
“I’m not taking this lying down, Carinna! You’re not dragging this out forever.”
She shoots me a furious glare and walks over to intercept her daughter. Our daughter. Shit! That’s weird as hell. I’ve got a daughter. And she’s almost a damn teenager.
Hattie walks up to me and I can tell by the sharp look in her eyes that she knows. “How long have you known?” I ask, my voice harsh, gravelly. I can’t stop watching my daughter walk away with the only woman I’ve ever loved.
“Not long. I saw in your bio when you were here and my secretary, Amanda, mentioned that you used to date Carinna. I’ve never seen eyes like that before. Yours and hers. It all added up. That’s why I asked you to perform here.”
Regret and shame burrow under my skin and I hang my head. “I wish I’d known. I would have come home. I’ve missed so much.” I shake my head while I watch her walk away with Maddy. “And Carinna? Did she ever marry?”