CHAPTER7
Carinna
Ifall across him and groan, wincing when he pushes my hair out of my eyes.
He smiles at me and my heart lifts. This man is the one I knew. The one I fell in love with as a girl.
The one I never got over.
“You are a fucking goddess, baby.”
I laugh and sit up, pushing my sweaty hair out of my eyes. “I think you need glasses.”
“Nope. 20/20 baby.”
“Humph!” I snort. “Maybe you just need your head checked.”
His warm, rough hand wraps around my cheek, tilting my head to his to kiss me lightly. “I needed that when I left. Not now.”
I draw away, still unsure. I am quickly losing my heart to this man and I don’t think he’s about to give up his career and stay with me. So it’s unlikely that this is going to be for much more than a few nights at most while he’s home. I can’t let myself get too attached.
“Don’t do that,” he growls.
“Do what?” I ask, hiding my face behind my hair.
“Don’t hide from me, Carinna. I meant what I said. I’m yours, you’re mine. If I go somewhere so do you. Hell, if I have to give up the limelight and singing, I’m going to.”
My mouth drops open, shock rendering me mute for a second. “You can’t do that! This is what you love.”
“You are what I love. I’m not giving you up again. This time is for us.”
“We’ll talk about this later.” I glance down at the clock. “I need to get home since Maddy’s with the sitter.”
“We can talk but it’s not going to change anything.”
I don’t answer. I can’t. I don’t want to take him away from what he loves. It feels like it would eventually kill the love we have. And it would hurt me so bad to know that I hurt him.
The rest of the drive passes quietly and I dash out of the car when we get back to my house.
I need to think without the delicious scent of him and our lovemaking fogging my brain.
“You can run but you can’t hide from me anymore, Carinna. I won’t let you.”
But I manage it until the night of the concert. The whole town is so excited and Ruth and the girls have selected a special spot for all of us. I’m excited to see him perform. But I dread saying good-bye. My feelings have only strengthened and it would take nothing for me to beg him to stay. No matter how wrong I know it is.
“Let’s go, Maddy!” She runs down the stairs dressed in jeans and a tank top and my heart stops. She’s growing up so fast. And looking in her eyes is like looking into Chris’s. It hurts but yet I love them both so much that I can’t make myself look away.
“Alright!” She throws her fist in the air. “I can’t wait to hear my dad sing! Some of the other girls, including Betty Joe, who you know picks on me all the time? Well, she’s super-jealous. She’s about ready to make up her own lost dad story.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, that makes sense.”
I grab a blanket and we walk out the door. Since it’s so close, we elect to walk. The night is still about an hour away so the soft summer light is barely lighting the way.
“Are you alright, mom?” Maddy asks.
“I am.” I smile at her but it wobbles just enough to make me turn away.
“I’m not sure I believe you.”