There’s a long pause as Lacy bites her lip, a nervous habit she’s had since we were kids. And then a smile breaks over her face and her eyes light up as she finally says, “Yes!”
I blink my eyes, again trying to hold back tears, as Ben eagerly slips the ring on Lacy’s quivering hand. I make sure to zoom in on the ring briefly with the phone camera before zooming back out and catching Ben and Lacy in an embrace, a gorgeous kiss that lasts and lasts. Finally, they break apart. Lacy turns to me, her face shining with joy.
“You knew?” She squeals as she lunges at me, giving me a huge hug.
“Of course she knew, she helped me plan the whole thing,” Ben says with a big smile.
“I’m so happy for you, Lacy,” I say honestly as I give her a squeeze. I follow up with a hug for Ben, who looks happier than I’ve ever seen him before.
“Thank you, Lillian,” Ben says. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I’ll send you both the video now,” I say, waving my phone at them. “Got it all.”
“Oh, that’s amazing,” Lacy says. “Then we can send it around. Who do we call first?” She asks Ben.
“I think best start with your dad,” Ben replies.
I watch as they call up Elliot, who is exuberant at the news.
“Welcome to the family, Ben!” He says with his typical big laugh. “I guess it’s better to have you in the family this way than via me marrying your mom.”
The three of them laugh and chatter, talking about the details. I watch for a moment but then retreat. My part in this little love story is finished. I want to give Ben and Lacy some time to share the happy news, and then some privacy. And I could use a moment myself.
I grab a beer out of the fridge and step out onto the front porch. Dusk is setting in and the fireflies are coming out, just like Ben and Lacy’s love. I sit alone on the porch and inhale deeply, soaking up the aroma of roses as I watch the twinkling lights dancing across the lawn.It really is beautiful here, I think to myself with a sigh. I wonder if I’ll ever have something like this? I take a swig of beer as I contemplate my situation.
I’ve never been the jealous type. Me and my sisters each had very distinct paths in life. There was never any rivalry or competition between us. And there still isn’t. But for the first time in my life, I feel envious—of both my sisters. Both of them have managed to find good men, men who love them and adore them. Men who are willing to commit to them for a lifetime.
That kind of relationship is something that has eluded me. Maybe it’s my own fault. I’ve spent most of the past years focusing on work and bouncing around Europe. I loved my time in Europe but I also knew I would never make it my permanent home. That kind of temporary feeling made it hard to settle down. And I feel unsettled now in many ways. Lacy has a good man. She has a great career. She’s even healed past rifts with our father. Meanwhile, I have none of that. I feel adrift, lost at sea, with nothing to anchor me.
I have no sense of stability and, for the first time in my life, I’m craving it. I want what my family in North Carolina has. Not the side of the family I share with Lacy via our father, Elliot Kincaid. My North Carolina family, my mom’s side, is huge. Messy. Overly involved.
Everybody is always in everybody else’s business. When I was younger, I hated it. I ran away from it, going all the way to Europe to escape the nosy prying. But now I miss it. I recognize how valuable it is to have people who care about you that much. I didn’t appreciate it when I was younger, but now?
I give a heavy sigh as I take another swig of the beer and watch the fireflies continue their dance across the lawn. Maybe now is my time. I’m supposed to head to North Carolina after I finish helping Ben and Lacy with Rose Manor. The family needs help renovating a house on the water, which they’re planning to rent out as an Airbnb. They asked if I would come lend a hand. In the past, I might have said I was too busy with other work projects.
But this time, I wanted to go back.
I’m ready. And I’m ready for my own happily-ever-after.
The question is, will I find it?