I hate that word. It’s the least of my problems, but I hate that word. I heard some of those girls talking to their customers and to each other through the walls. One of them would sing to herself—the walls were so thin, we might as well have been in the same room. She had a nice voice. I wonder what happened to her. All of those girls were just like me, maybe even tricked into being there the way I was. Locked in. They weren’t whores. They were victims.
“It’s a good thing I’m not going back to Corium.” I pick at the muffin, watching Lucas out of the corner of my eye. He’s going to explode. I know it. It’s only a matter of when. “Things were bad enough as it was before I killed someone. They’d probably put a price on my head.”
“Actually. You are going back,” Lucas announces.
I must’ve imagined it. No way did those words come out of Lucas’s mouth. He messed something up in my head last night when we were in the shower. I had never come so hard, for so long. Maybe I popped a blood vessel in my brain or something? Because I swear, I just heard him say…
Unfortunately, Celia heard it, too. “But she—” I look at her and find her wincing at Nic. I guess she’s not supposed to speak up. I’m sure women in this world don’t get a lot of say over anything. My birth mother sure didn’t.
Lucas finally decides to turn his attention to me. “That’s how it’s going to be. You’re going to Corium.”
My heart skips a beat. “But you said—”
“I know what I said. Things are different now that they all know what happened—sorry, Preston’s version of what happened.”
Nic leans in, scowling. “That’s not what we discussed, dammit. You would dangle her in front of the rest of the kids there?”
Lucas holds up a finger. “No, committing murder. That’s the only rule, and they know better than to break it.”
“I see.” Nic glances my way before muttering, “So I guess the plan for Aspen was to… what? Prank her while she was unconscious?”
“Don’t do that.” Lucas drops the fork onto the plate before shoving his chair back from the table. “Don’t fucking make jokes about that.”
“Who’s joking? You know damn well what they would’ve done to her if Q hadn’t followed her that night.” Now Nic doesn’t bother to hide his feelings, glaring at me. “What was the plan?”
“I didn’t know anything about it. They were using me. That’s all.”
He snorts, but I think he believes me. How could he not? The whole plan is painfully obvious now that I look back on it. I was never a partner in it. Just a pawn. The way I’ve been my entire life.
“My point is, how do you expect to keep her safe when—” Nic’s mouth snaps shut, but a second too late. It would’ve been better if he’d stopped himself before he started. Even I know what he was about to say.
How could you expect to keep her safe when you couldn’t keep your daughter safe?
Lucas launches himself at Nic, hauling him from his chair while Celia and I look on in horror. “I warned you to watch your fucking mouth. You know it’s rare to get a second warning out of me.”
“You need to listen to reason for once.” Nic doesn’t look very worried about having Lucas’s hands dangerously close to his neck. I guess this isn’t the first time things have gotten to this point between them. Not surprising. They both appear to be hot heads.
“Since when do you give out advice about listening to reason? Since when do you listen to it?” He shoots a quick look at Celia, who shrinks back a little bit. “Last time I checked, you’ve made questionable choices in the past. And when I brought them to your attention, you weren’t hearing any of it.”
Nic snickers, looking Lucas up and down. “Finally. You’re admitting it.”
I have no idea what’s happening. What Nic’s talking about, or why Lucas lets go of him with a muttered curse. I only know those four words changed the energy in the dining room. Lucas sits back down and pulls his chair in. Meanwhile, Nic signals for Celia to follow him out of the room. He takes her hand in his and pulls her close to his body. I can see the love he has for her in his eyes, the way his features grow softer with her now in his arms.
“You need to think this one through again,” he suggests in a quiet voice on the way past our chairs.
I’m so damn lost. And it feels weird sitting here with Lucas when he’s clearly in the mood to damage something. Seconds tick by, and I remain silent, waiting for him to speak.
I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to stay silent on this. Even if he’s in a dangerous mood. His mood swings are enough to give me whiplash, and it’s my life hanging in the balance. Don’t I get a say in this? The courage builds, and from there, I finally gather up the strength to speak.
“I thought you wanted me to have a new start.” I stare down at the plate, willing myself not to look at him. If I do, I might cry, and I’m tired of crying.
“I did—do.”
My gaze escapes the plate, and I find myself staring at him. It’s amazing I can understand him, his jaw is clenched so tight.
“But now I’m going back to Corium with you? Why?”
“Why do you need to know?” The way he looks at me brings back memories of those first days. He was so hateful and cold. How can he look at me that way again? Like last night never happened, like his gentleness after rescuing me was my imagination playing tricks.No!I’m not going to let him intimidate me the way I used to.