“Wait a minute. I thought she was some other guy’s kid. The one who—”
“She was adopted. To tell you the truth, I didn’t know I had a daughter until well after she came here. It was only after her adopted father was in prison that he told her the truth. It was his way of protecting her. Distancing himself from her. And I’m sure he thought she deserved to know where she came from.”
“Did he know who her real parents were?”
“He knew who her mother was.” It’s still so fresh. A sense of shame grips me when my thoughts turn in this direction. My own child was hidden from me for her protection. I was that far gone, that twisted. “The father was never announced, but I put everything together once I heard the mother’s name. Aspen’s blood was drawn when she first came here, just like yours was. I had Lauren run a paternity test.”
“And she knows you’re her father?”
“Yes. That’s why I’ve been spending time with her. I’m no one’s idea of father of the year, but now that we know about each other, I want to do my best to be there for her.”
She stares at the table, frowning, and I can’t help but wish she’d tell me what’s on her mind. What is she thinking? Trying to imagine me as a dad? She wouldn’t believe it if I told her how many times I’ve done the same thing and with next to no success.
Or is she thinking about her own father and their lack of a relationship? I wonder if that’s it. That’s exactly where my head would go if I were in her position. Mather might have been a rat, but he was nothing less than a devoted father. And now, Aspen has another father just as devoted to her. Even if I don’t quite know how to show it.
Delilah, on the other hand? She’s never had anyone. No wonder she took it personally when she thought my relationship with Aspen was sexual. That would put them in competition.
Have I been spending too much time with Lauren? I’m turning into a shrink.
“Have I shocked you?” I can’t help asking before going back to my food. It’s a little colder now, but at least there’s no hostility in the air.
“Yeah, obviously.” She shakes her head a little. “No wonder you took it so personally. I mean, what happened to her.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Of course.” She notices I’m eating and is quick to pick up her silverware to join me. Now that the truth is out, she’s back to her old self. “Anyway, I think it makes her happy to have somebody to talk books with. I doubt Quinton is much of a reader.”
There’s one more thing I feel needs to be said, even though it’s insulting that I should have to point it out. “I’ve never fucked any of the other students around here. In case you were wondering.”
“I wasn’t.”
“That isn’t how it sounded earlier when you accused me of that very thing.”
“I didn’t think you actually did it, though.”
“Right.” I should’ve known better than to think I’d get a straight answer. I don’t know why it matters. It shouldn’t. She is the last person whose opinion I should give two shits about.