“That’s not what I asked.”
Ugh. Why didn’t I just tell her no? I don’t want to open this fucking can. Dr. Lauren doesn’t look like she is letting it go.
“They made me get naked, so they could jerk off on my tits.” Just saying it out loud makes me feel dirty, and I want to scrub my chest clean all over again. As if the soap will help get rid of that disgusting feeling in my gut.
“That’s not something to take lightly. They might not have physically harmed you, but that doesn’t make it any less of a sexual assault.”
“Can we not talk about this anymore?” I just want to forget this ever happened.
“Of course, but I’m always here to talk if you need to.”
She goes through the rest of the examination in silence, and I’m more than glad about it.
Once we’re finished with the only minorly embarrassing part of the visit, it’s time to get down to the truly humiliating stuff. She takes a look under the hood, checking out all my parts until I’m blushing while staring at the ceiling and waiting for it to be over.
“Okay. You’re all set.” She rolls her stool away from the table while peeling off her gloves. “The results from your blood work should be in within a few days. I’ll let you know if I find any abnormalities, but if everything’s okay, I won’t bother you.”
“Thanks.” I wonder if I should warn her in advance about my Vitamin D levels. Something tells me it’s going to be pretty damn low after not seeing the sun for weeks.
“You can get dressed now.” She turns away and starts typing on her laptop. “Don’t pay attention to me. I want to put in a few notes while our visit is still fresh in my mind.”
I’m sure she’s making a note of how suspicious I am, wondering what made me this way. I could tell her a few things since I’m sure there is no way she would know what’s been done to me lately. If so, would she be obligated to go to the cops?
Who am I kidding? If there’s any hope of living through this, I need to wise up. Nobody around here is going to the authorities for any reason, small or large. This school isn’t for families who rely on the law. It’s just the opposite. If I’m going to make it out of here, the only person I can rely on is myself.
The doctor is still pounding the keys when I finish putting my clothes back on. Rather than announce I’m finished, I glance around the room…looking for something, anything.
I’m on my own. I need to think defensively. I need to be able to protect myself. That’s why a pair of scissors sitting with the medical equipment on a wheeled tray gets my attention. She still has her back to me, so I hold my breath while inching toward the tray.
“Are you all set?” Her question makes me jump.
“Just about.” She’s still not looking my way, but she will be soon. It’s now or never.
My hand shoots out, and I take hold of the scissors, my clammy fingers slip against the metal, but I keep my hold on them and gently tuck them into the back of my jeans.
I’ll hide them between the mattress and box spring in the guest room. Lucas won’t ever think to look there, and who knows when I’ll need them. It’s better to have a weapon to protect yourself than to face the enemy empty-handed.