ASPEN
If it wasn’t for Brittney bringing me books and food every day, I’m not sure what I would do. I can barely get around with the crutches in my room, so walking around Corium with people knocking into me is out of the question. The bruises on my arm are slowly healing, but the crutches dig into them every time I use them, and since I stopped taking the stronger pain meds, it really fucking hurts.
When Brittney shows up today, I’m smiling. She puts my next set of evening entertainment on the desk and hands me a sandwich, a bag of chips, and an apple.
“You’re smiling. I like it.”
“I’m happy to see you. I feel like I’ve been trapped in this room for weeks, and it’s only been a couple days.”
“No one is keeping you in this room, Aspen. You can go to classes.”
I look down at the floor. “I know, but I’m not ready yet. My leg is just going to make me the center of attention. It’s bad enough everyone knows I left and that I was the only person to survive the helicopter crash.”
Brittney crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed. The bed squeaks with the added weight, and the sound reminds me of what Quinton and I did just yesterday on this bed. Damn. My cheeks heat with the intrusion of thoughts.
Thank god, Brittney can’t read my thoughts.
“Everyone knows what happened. News in this place travels fast. Plus, you can’t hide your leg being in a cast. Eventually, you’re going to have to leave this room.”
The thought of having to step out into that hall makes my stomach churn. With the cast on my leg, I’m nothing but a target for every person I cross paths with.
“I’m not ready, the mere thought of leaving this room…” I don’t finish my sentence because I don’t want to whine to Brittney about my problems.
Before, I could at least move fast through the halls and thought it was annoying when someone bumped into me, but at least it wouldn’t really hurt. Now, more things can go wrong. I know no one can kill me here, but that doesn’t mean they can’t hurt me, bringing me as close to death as possible without actually killing me.
“Have you talked to Quinton? Maybe he can help some?”
A bubble of nervous laughter escapes me. “He’s not going to help me. Last night he showed up and basically told me he’s done with what we have and that he wants nothing else to do with me.”
Brittney’s face contours with anger. “What do you mean he doesn’t want anything to do with you? Like pardon my French, but what the fuck is wrong with that boy?”
I shrug. I don’t have an answer for her. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I do know the way he made me feel. I’ve never come so hard in my life. It was like an out-of-body experience until it was over, and I was left lying on the bed while he told me he was done with me.
After he left, that euphoric feeling disappeared, and in the wake of it all, it left me feeling used and discarded like trash.
“He’s a fucking potato, and you know what? He can suck a dick. Don’t let some asshole make you think you’re less than who you are. If he can’t see your worth, then he can fuck off.”
My lips turn up into a smile, but I still feel depressed over it. I don’t know why he’s mad at me or what I did to anger him.
Brittney places a hand on my shoulder, drawing me from my thoughts. “Men are finicky creatures, don’t let him bring you down. You’re beautiful and kind, and if he doesn’t see your worth, that’s on him. Don’t settle for someone like that.”
Would it really be settling when there was never a relationship to begin with? It’s not like we were exclusive or even dating. He saved me, but according to him, just because he owed me. He fucked me and controlled every move I made. I was just a pawn, and still, I feel empty at the loss of him from my life.
“I know. I’ll get over it. It’s just going to take some time.” I try not to sound as depressed as I feel.
We eat together, and then she tells me about the new books she brought me. She gushes about this book called Pretty Little Savage by Lucy Smoke, and I can’t hide my excitement. There is nothing like diving into the pages of a new book while wrapped up in a blanket with a cup of tea or hot cocoa. It’s the best feeling in the world, and I don’t care what anyone says about it.
“Anyway, the heroine is kickass, and I want you to read the book. It’ll make you feel better.” Brittney nudges my shoulder.
“I’ll for sure read it. I need a new book. I feel like I’m devouring every single one you give me.”
“That’s because you are.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I’m going to drop out of school and become a professional book reader.”
“You mean librarian?” Brittney adds.
We both break out into a fit of laughter, and after a few seconds, we catch our breaths, and Brittney says, “My lunch break is up, but as always, if you need anything, let me know.”