Then it stops so abruptly that I’m knocked off balance and have to lean against the wall to steady myself or risk falling over. The doors slide open, and I step out of the elevator and into yet another hallway.
As I look at the map, my room appears to be at the end of the corridor. Which might not be that bad of a thing. I count each step, the only thought on my mind being the bed inside my room and the mattress I’m going to fall into when I get there.
I’m so fucking tired. I don’t even care that my stomach is growling, demanding food. I have to sleep. I’m too tired to even lift a fork, let alone walk around this maze to find the cafeteria.
My legs ache with protest, but I push onward until I’m standing right in front of the supposed door to my dorm. I look up from the polished marble and see three large, bright red letters painted on the wood. The sight of them makes my heart sink into my stomach.
RAT
I should have known there would be no escaping what happened. Everyone knows who I am now. This place is going to be even worse than high school was. There, people just stopped talking to me and stayed out of my way. Avoiding me like I was the plague. The writing on the door tells me I won’t be so easily dismissed here. I shake my head and look down at the door handle.
Pulling the key card from my pocket, I swipe it, and the door clicks open. Hesitantly, I step into the room I’m going to call my home for the next year.
I scan the space, my gaze ping-pongs around the small space. The first thing I notice is the dust and mildew smell. The second is the large brown stain on the ceiling. The third is the bed. I’m grateful to have a place to sleep, but somehow, I feel like this is a joke.
I’m almost certain no one has lived in this room for a while. It’s probably been condemned, looking at its condition, but right now, all I can think about is the bed. How pitiful is it that at this point, I’m willing to sleep anywhere? Pulling my luggage inside, I shut the door behind me and lean my back against it, briefly closing my eyes.
You can do this.A small voice whispers in my mind, giving me enough strength to believe I can do this.
I don’t know how yet, but I will get through this year. Pushing off the door, I start undressing and lay my clothes out over my suitcase. I pull my pajamas out of my backpack and quickly get dressed for bed. The mattress is bare, but a large bag on top of the bed holds a comforter, a pillow, and sheets.
I’m too exhausted from traveling to put any effort into anything else, so I spread the sheets out over the mattress and crawl on top of them. I don’t even bother turning the light off. I simply cover myself with the comforter and tuck the pillow under my head.
I’m out cold the next minute, and all I can think is I hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Spoiler alert—it won’t be.