“Sorry.” I smile halfheartedly. “Youcanput everything about me in one folder. I guess your life is way more interesting than mine.”
“I doubt that,” he tells me, just as we finish our first lap.
“You can doubt that all you want, doesn’t make it any less true.”
Ryker seems to mull my statement over before he answers my earlier question. “We all grew up together. Same neighborhood, same school, same trouble we got into. Derick was always a prick, if you were wondering. Unfortunately, he is a useful prick.”
“That sounds nice. I mean, not the prick or the trouble part. I was talking about the growing up together. I don’t really have any close friends. No siblings. No family. But you already know that frommyfolder.” I try to make another lighthearted joke, but it’s really more sad than anything.
“That sounds lonely.”
More than you could ever understand.
We finish the second round when I realize how tired I still am. My body is sore and exhausted, but I don’t want him to take me back to bed.
“Can we sit down for a bit?”
“Sure,” Ryker agrees and pulls me toward a bench.
Never letting go of my arm, we take a seat. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world, I lean my head against his shoulder.
My mind knows this is all just a front. He is plotting to kill me while I’m snuggling into his side. My brain tells me to run away, but my body urges me to get closer.
Even if this is just a game, I don’t mind playing it. I don’t mind pretending for a bit longer.
“You want me to take you back to bed?”
“No,” I blurt out. “I don’t want to go to sleep again.”
“I wasn’t talking about sleeping,” Ryker says. Of course, he still wants sex. Flashes of him taking my mouth roughly the other night run through my head, and my breathing speeds up. Only now they are mixed with Derick’s cruel hands, shoving his fingers inside of me painfully. I hate the power he holds over me, and I wonder if I can get through it with Ryker and Hunter without breaking down.
“Can I take a bath first?” I ask.
“Sure, let’s get you all bubbled up.”
Ryker helps me up from the bench and we head back to the room. As we step out into the hallway, voices meet my ear. They are coming from down the hall and my head snaps into the direction automatically.
What I see next has jealousy tightening my chest and churning my stomach.
Hunter stands at the end of the hallways with his arms wrapped around a petite woman. He hugs her tight as she buries her face in his chest.
I don’t want to pry her away because I’m in love with Hunter or feel like I have a claim on him. No, the kind of jealousy I’m experiencing comes from a place of longing. I’ve been jealous a few times in my life, but nothing compares to this soul-crushing emotion expanding in my chest right this second. I’m so fucking lonely that I would do anything for Hunter to hold me like he is holding this woman right now. Having a ticking clock hanging over my head makes me see everything clearer, makes me feel more deeply, because I know my time might be up soon.
Reality hits that I’ll never get to experience what I’m looking at. I’ll never know what it feels like for someone to wrap their arms around me like they can protect me from the world. I’ll never experience what it feels like to have a family, to be cherished, safe, and above all… loved.
“Come on.” Ryker tugs on my arm, making me jump. I was so captivated I forgot he was there for a second.
Hunter’s head tips up and his gaze finds mine. His green eyes darken before he turns his body away from me, taking the girl with him. It’s odd because it seems like he is trying to keep her safe from me.
When I don’t move, Ryker snakes his arm around my waist and starts pushing me down the hall. My legs have no choice but to oblige.
“Who was that?” I ask, knowing damn well he will not answer me.
“Don’t ask questions right now,” Ryker hisses.
His brassiness only twists the knife in deeper.
I mean nothing to him.
I’m nothing to either of them, and I need to keep this in mind.