24
Ryder
Iwake up the same way I fell asleep, with my arms wrapped around Penny. Her face is pressed against my chest, and with each breath she takes, a puff of air fans out over my skin.
This should feel odd. Cuddling has never been my thing. Kissing has never been my thing either. Yet, it feels right when I do it with Penny, a girl I hated for so long. How is that possible? Nothing about this makes sense.
Reaching over, I flip on the bedside lamp so I can look at her. Maybe seeing her will remind me who is wrapped up in my arms. I take in her face. Her lips are slightly parted, her eyes are closed, and her lashes rest like tiny wings right below. Looking at her doesn’t change anything. I still want her. Still want to hold her, want to protect and take care of her.
Stirring next to me, she slowly wakes up, her whole body goes stiff. Blinking, she looks around, and a moment of panic flashes over her face. When she realizes where she is, her body relaxes, and she melts back into my touch.
“How long do we have to stay here?” she asks, her voice still sleepy.
“However long it takes to find Tucker and have my place fixed up.” I’m sure she doesn’t like being here, but this will have to do.
“About yesterday…” she starts but then pauses for a long time. “Are we… I mean, am I still paying off my debt?”
My heart speeds up at her question. I know what she is asking. Was sex last night about money, or was it more? She wants to know where we stand, but I’m not ready to say it out loud. I can’t, maybe never.
“Nothing has changed.” I give her a washed down answer.
I feel her pulling away immediately, physically and mentally. I almost want to take it back… almost. But the truth is, nothinghaschanged, because it was never about the money for me. I always just wanted her. The only thing that did change is the reason I want her close.
Of course, she doesn’t know that. She thinks I just want to use her body to get my money’s worth.
“Why did you come for me? Why didn’t you just let Tucker get to me?”
“How are you going to pay me back if you’re dead?”
She flinches at my words, then turns her body away from me as if I shoved her away. I might as well, but this is the way it has to be. I can’t let her get too close. It’s going to make it harder for both of us when it’s time for her to leave.
I’m not stupid. She is leaning on me now, letting me take care of her because she needs me, but as soon as Tucker is out of the picture and she is safe again, she is going back home. Back to her own life. There is no room for me in it.
“Don’t make this out to be any more than it is.” Getting up from the bed, I pick up my clothes and pull them on. “You owe me. I take payment in the form of fucking. That’s it. Just because I’m nice to you in between doesn’t mean there is anything between us.”
When I glance over at her, she is sitting up, her head lowered as she looks at her hands lying in her lap. The sheet is wrapped around her torso, hiding her perky little breasts from me.
“Understood.” She nods, not looking up. Her long brown hair covering her face like a curtain, and I’m guessing that’s by design.
“Get dressed. We have to go see Maddox.”
She scurries off the bed, and I avert my gaze. If I look at her naked body right now, we won’t leave this room any time soon.
When we leave, I grab hold of her upper arm and walk her down the hall. As we enter the bar area, I tighten my grip on her, pulling her along rougher than necessary. She whimpers but doesn’t complain.
It’s early, and there are only a few people in the bar for a morning beer, but I don’t want anyone to know what Penny is to me. I walk her straight through the bar to the staircase leading up to Maddox’s office.
I don’t let go of Penny until we’re in front of his door. She rubs her arm where I held onto her, and the unwanted pang of guilt hits me.
Knocking on the door, I wait for Maddox to call us in.
“Come in…”
Pushing the door open, I step in and take a seat opposite him at his desk. Penny walks in after me timidly. She closes the door, and I motion for her to sit down next to me.
Keeping her head down, like she is avoiding eye contact with Maddox, she takes the seat.
“We still can’t find him,” he growls. “But since she is here, I have a job for her.”