20
Ryder
She’s been gone for two weeks now. The house feels empty, like something vital is missing. It’s quiet, too quiet. Mojo knows it too. He’s been moping around, missing her, same as me.
I shouldn’t be surprised by her taking off. I gave her no reason to stay, no reason to trust me. I treated her like shit, kicked her when she was already down. I know all of this, but none of that makes her leaving easier. Quite the opposite. It makes it harder.
As soon as I realized she was gone, I sent one of the bartender girls for the club to the women’s shelter, looking for her. I knew that they wouldn’t let me within ten feet of the front door. She wasn’t there, so I went to the only other place I could think of.
I snuck up to the house, sneaking around and looking into the window like a creep. She was there, sitting at the dinner table with her family, a family we once shared.
I was about to knock the door down, pull her out, demand that she come back to me, but then something happened.
She smiled…
She fucking smiled, and in that exact moment, I felt the icy exterior of my heart crack, shatter into a million pieces. Each piece cutting into the inside of my chest, causing a pain I’ve never felt before.
It was a small, seemingly insignificant gesture. She smiled at something her mother said, her eyes lit up, and her shoulders shook slightly as her smile turned into a giggle. She was happy, content.
In all those weeks, she stayed at my house, not once–not one time–had I seen her smile. Not once had I seen her eyes light up or heard the sound of her laughter. All I saw was her pain, and her tears and felt her trembling in fear.
I hated her for what she’d done to me, hated her for so long. Now, I realize I’ve done way worse, and I only have myself to hate.
My phone rings, dragging me out of my thoughts. I answer without checking the screen, knowing exactly who it is.
“Where the hell are you?” Maddox’s voice booms through the speaker of my truck.
“Just driving around. What’s up?”
“We might have a lead on Tucker. I’ll know more tomorrow, so be ready.”
The line goes dead, in typical Maddox fashion.
The reminder of Tucker only darkens my already dark mood. The fucker stole from us. Penny was right. Unfortunately, he caught wind of us looking for him before we could get him. Now he is nowhere to be found.
At least none of the brothers sided with him after we showed them the proof. Him taking off like that only made him look guiltier.
Shaking the thought of the prick Tucker out of my head, I concentrate on the here and now.
I park a few houses down, always a different spot, then walk the rest of the way. It’s two o’clock in the morning, everyone in this quiet suburban neighborhood is asleep—everyone except Penny.
She is sitting on the back porch, looking up at the sky. She is holding a cup in her hands. The way she takes careful sips tells me it’s something hot.
The lawn chair she is sitting on makes low sounds of distress as she moves, pulling her legs up. She is wearing my sweater, the one she wore when she left. It’s so big on her, she looks like a child wearing an adult size.
I stay in the shadows behind a tree. She doesn’t know I’m here, she never does. I come to see her almost every day, it’s become a routine, an obsession of sorts.
The need to see her compels me to do it, but that’s all I ever do. I simply drive here to see her, make sure she is okay, then I leave, go back home to my empty house, wishing it wasn’t so empty.
Taking one last look, I soak her in. Every feature, every strand of her hair, I memorize it all. I wait until she finishes whatever is in her cup. Then, I watch her get up and walk back inside. Only when I know she is safely back in the house, do I turn around to leave.
I take two steps before coming to an abrupt halt.
“Forgot where the doorbell is?” James asks, his always kind eyes giving me a questionable glance. Suddenly, I’m not a coldhearted criminal anymore. I’m a teenager again, standing in front of the only father figure I ever had.
“I just came to check up on her,” I explain, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“I figured,” he nods, “Penny told us everything. About her lying and that you let her stay with you for a bit.”