15
Penny
For a long time, I just lie on the couch, looking into the darkness and trying to forget the pain in my body.
Now that we are back at the house, and I have nothing but the silence to keep me company, I’m faced with everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours.
He came for me.
Ryder came for me. He got me out of there and took me home, even after realizing that it was Tommy. I have the urge to go to his room and talk to him, explain why I stayed with Tommy and why I lied all those years ago. I want to thank him and apologize for everything I did to him… but I don’t. Partly because I don’t think it would matter to him, and partly because I’m simply scared. What of exactly, I don’t know. I’m just scared.
Closing my eyes, I try to go to sleep, but the pain keeps me from finding any rest at all. Now that the medicine from the IV has worn off, the pain riddles through every fiber of my body. I don’t think there is a part of me that is not sore right now.
To make matters worse, my throat is dry like a desert, my stomach aches for food, and my bladder screams for release. I need to get up, even if every inch I move hurts. If I don’t eat and drink, my recovery will take even longer.
Gripping the back of the couch, I use my arm to pull myself up in an effort to keep my torso straight and not use my abs. I grind my teeth together and groan in pain as I hoist myself up into a sitting position. After taking a short breather, I push myself to stand up all the way. With my head spinning and my knees weak, I walk into the kitchen, switch on the light, and grab a glass from the cabinet.
Turning on the faucet, I fill the glass with water and drink almost the entire glass. I turn to set the glass on the counter, my movement a little too sudden, and a sharp pain shoots through my side. My fingers tremble, and the slick glass slides out of my hand, shattering onto the floor into a million pieces.Shit. Shit. Shit.
Automatically, I bend down to pick up the mess I just made, only to be stopped by my own body as pain shoots through me. A sob rips from my throat, and I have to hold on to the counter just to hold myself up.
The bedroom door swings open, and Ryder’s large body fills the frame. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I… just wanted… to get… some water,” I explain in between sobs.
“Don’t fucking move,” he growls and walks over to where I’m standing. Careful not to step on any glass shards, he comes as close as he can get and holds his hand out to me. “Come on,” he orders roughly, and I take his hand.
Unlike his harsh voice, his touch is gentle as he takes my hand and helps me step over the glass. He assists me back to the couch, motioning for me to lie back down.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I whisper. Ryder sighs, but to my surprise yet again, he doesn’t give me a snarky remark. Instead, he guides me to the bathroom, going slow, so I can take smaller steps. When I’m in front of the toilet, he even helps me pull down my yoga pants. If it was anybody else, I would probably be embarrassed, but since Ryder’s seen me naked and up-close many times, I don’t even blush.
“Use the bathroom. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Don’t try to get up by yourself,” he orders and leaves the room.
I do my business and stay seated on the toilet, waiting for him to come back. After a short while, he does just that, holding a glass of water in his hand.
“Take this,” he says, showing me his free hand. A large white pill is in the center of his palm, and I grab it without question. I put it on my tongue and take a sip of the water he hands me. I don’t understand why he is being so nice and caring, but I’m not about to complain.
He helps me up and gets me dressed before taking my arm and walking me to his bedroom. I’m confused, but don’t complain when he heads for his bed. Slowly, and with Ryder’s support, I lower myself onto the soft mattress.
“Thank you,” I say quietly when I’m situated comfortably. He doesn’t say anything back, only grunts and walks off. Even though I can’t see him from where I am, I listen to him move into the kitchen and open the fridge, gather some stuff, and prepare some food. I briefly think about asking him if I could have something to eat but decide against pushing my luck. He has done more for me today than I ever expected from him, more than I deserve. I won’t ask him for anything else, even if I am starving.
A few minutes later, Ryder reappears in front of me, setting a plate and a water bottle on the nightstand.
“Eat, drink, and then go to sleep,” he growls before spinning around and leaving again.
The bedroom door shuts behind him, and I instantly miss his presence in the room. The space feels colder, emptier without him in here. I’ve been suppressing the idea of seeking Ryder’s company, the idea of enjoying his touch, and letting him protect me. After today, those thoughts and feelings are harder to ignore.
He came for me, helped me, protected me, took me to the hospital, and even cared for me here. Now, I only need to figure out his motives. Does he really care, or is he just doing this because I owe him, and he wants me to work off the money?
My mind is reeling with unanswered questions as I take tiny bites of the sandwich he made me. Each morsel lands heavy in my empty stomach. About halfway through, I notice a strange feeling creeping up on me. My mind goes a bit fuzzy, and my limbs grow heavier, less mobile. The pain in my body seems to lighten, the throbbing in my head dulls, and the sharp sting in my ribcage lessens.
I figured the pill he gave me was some kind of pain or sleeping medicine, but I didn’t expect it to work this well. Whatever he gave me has the pain almost gone within a few minutes. Pushing the rest of the sandwich aside, I slump back onto the cushions and close my eyes, my mind drifting off almost immediately. All physical and mental pain vanishes for the moment as the drug courses through my body and gives me welcome relief.