11
Penny
We pull up to the house that holds most of my nightmares. It hasn’t changed at all. The front yard is unmowed and not cared for, the siding is dirty, and the windows are covered with tan curtains.
As I expected, the driveway is carless. Tommy is at work, leaving the house empty. Still, the thought of going inside is more frightening than I expected it to be. I thought I could do it, but now that I’m here, I doubt I’ll be able to make my feet work.
“Hurry and get your shit,” Ryder mumbles from the driver’s side before turning up the music and taking out his phone.
Taking a deep calming breath, I will myself to get out of the car, telling myself repeatedly I can do this. He is not here; I’m going to be okay. I’m just going in there to get my clothes, and then I’ll be out of here forever—no need to freak out.
“Let’s go. I don’t have all day,” Ryder orders, raising his voice over the loud music.
Gathering all my courage, I take one final breath before opening the door and getting out of the truck. I walk up to the front door and take out the hidden key from under the flowerpot sitting on the porch. With shaking hands, I slide the key in the lock and open the door.
The first thing I notice when I step inside is the familiar smell of cigarettes and alcohol. They say scents are the most likely to trigger a memory… and they are right.
My stomach turns, and my head swirls as suppressed thoughts and feelings all flood my mind. The memories of endless nights of pain, heartache, despair, and hopelessness all come crashing down on me. I close my eyes, trying to ground myself and concentrate on the task at hand. I just need to get my stuff and get out of here for good.
I briefly consider running back outside and begging Ryder to either buy me new clothes or come inside with me. The idea almost makes me laugh. Almost.
No, I need to do this. Willing my feet to move, I step further into the house. With every step, more dread seeps into me, filling me with deep-rooted fear. If Tommy found me sneaking into the house, he would kill me. He would beat me to death for leaving him. That’s what he always threatened, if I ever tried to leave, he’d kill me. And I did it, I left.
I step into the bedroom on shaky legs and quickly find a bag in the closet. Setting it on the unmade bed, I randomly start grabbing clothes and stuffing them in the bag in a hurry.
“Well, look who it is,” Tommy’s voice fills the room, and I freeze. Fear grips me so tightly that my muscles lock up, and I’m literally unable to move an inch. The only thing moving is my wildly beating heart. It’s so rapid I might have a heart attack. The floorboards creak as Tommy moves, taking a few steps, so he is right beside me.
“What did I tell you would happen if you ever tried to leave me?” His voice is like venom, paralyzing me and making it hard to breathe. “Nothing to say?”
“I-I’m sorry,” I force out.
“Sorry? I don’t think you’re sorry, but don’t worry, you will be,” he threatens, a twisted smirk on his face.
This is the part where I usually check out, numb my body as best as I can, try to have my mind go anywhere but here. But today something is stopping me, something is different. I’ve never had a reason to fight or scream before, because I didn’t have anyone who would help me, and I had no place to go. Today, I only have to get to the truck. I only have to get to Ryder. He would help me, I think.
Tommy takes a step toward me, his lip curled up in a snarl, his hands curled in fists at his side, and his eyes go even darker than their normal shade of brown. Instead of cowering in front of him and letting him hit me, I take a step back. His eyebrows raise at my move, and I use his momentary surprise to my advantage. I turn around and sprint out of the room, running down the hall as fast as I can.
I’m almost at the door, my fingers inches from the brass knob. So close, I can practically feel the cold metal on my skin. Just one more inch, and I’m there, but I never get the chance to even touch it. Tommy grabs me by the arm and yanks me back so roughly, I think it might come out of the socket. I would normally swallow my scream or at least try to muffle it, but knowing Ryder is sitting out in the car has me screaming at the top of my lungs.
Pain ripples through me as Tommy forces me deeper into the house. Grabbing a handful of my hair, he pulls me by it into the kitchen and throws me onto the floor. I land roughly on my back. The air is knocked out of my lungs, and before I can suck in a breath, Tommy is on me.
“You fucking bitch!” he yells and starts punching my face. The back of my head bounces off the unforgiving tile floor as he keeps hitting me relentlessly. I try to cover my face and head, but he keeps pounding at my arms and hands anyway.
My head throbs in pain, and my vision goes blurry. I’m not even sure if it’s from the tears or if I have head trauma already. All I know is that I wish for Ryder to be here, to hear my screams, to get me out of here and away from Tommy.
Please, Ryder.I say a silent prayer in my head. Please, let him come in and look for me.
Please!