7
Penny
My chest is heaving, and my heart is still racing when I return to the living room. Only when I’m back at the couch, do I notice that I didn’t even pick up my clothes. I’m standing in the room completely naked. A shiver running over my entire body as I try to think about what I should do. Do I just go to sleep on the couch like he said, or should I calm down and go back in there?
Part of me knows that he didn’t actually hit me. I might be inexperienced in bed, but even I know that spanking while having sex is a thing. Still, it was too much for me. Too close to the pain I used to endure daily. It took so much to get away from that. I will never let it happen again.
I finally lie down on the couch, covering up with the blanket Ryder gave me. I close my eyes and try to go to sleep, but I can’t shake the stupid urge to go back to his bedroom and apologize. He looked furious when I accused him of hitting me. I know Ryder hates me, and he might do some fucked up stuff to me, but I don’t think he would actually hit me. Ryder likes to mess with my head, but he doesn’t physically hurt me. Not like Tommy used to.
I twist and turn, unable to calm my mind. I’m not sure how much time passes, but it must have been a few hours. I cannot go to sleep until I apologize.
I get up and walk to his room; quietly, I open the door. It’s completely dark and silent inside. And I realize he is asleep.Of course, he is sleeping. Why wouldn’t he be?Silently cursing my stupidity, I close the door again when a low growl has me stopping dead in my tracks.Mojo.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Ryder’s sleepy voice meets my ears.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to wake you. I was… about earlier… I-I’m sorry.”
“Go to sleep,” he murmurs, and I hear the rustling of the bedsheets, letting me know he is lying back down.
I tiptoe out of the room and go back to my couch. I’m not sure if it’s because I apologized or because I’m so tired, but when my head hits the pillow, I am out almost immediately.
* * *
When I wake,I’m alone again. With the blanket wrapped around my body, I walk through the house. Ryder isn’t here, and wherever he is, he took Mojo with him. I’m completely alone, and for some stupid reason, I hate it. I wish he would have left his dog here.
After I eat some breakfast, I decide to pass the time by taking a shower. Using some disposable razors I found under the sink, I shave my legs, my lady parts, and under my armpits. When I’m done with that, I get dressed and wipe down the bathroom.
Once everything is clean, including me, Ryder is still not back. There is nothing else to do around here, and I can feel my mind going into overdrive. I need something to do. Shit, I can’t go on like this. I need a plan. I take out the little notebook from my backpack and stare at the list of jobs I could do and classes I could take. Pamphlets of programs and organizations that could help me are stuck in between the pages.
But first, I need to pay off my debt. I write five thousand on the top of an empty page and minus it with the money Ryder promised me every time I sleep with him. I don’t count last night since I made him stop halfway through. As I write the number, I try not to think about the fact that I am basically a prostitute now and instead pretend that I’m just doing book-keeping for some normal job.
When I’m done, I think about my next step. I need to find a job, save up enough money for an apartment, or at least a room somewhere, then college. Maybe I’ll apply for some grants or scholarships. I need to get to the library. I can use the computer there and start applying.
Ryder said last night that he doesn’t want me to leave, but maybe he’ll let me go for a few hours if he knows where I am. I can take the bus back and forth.
My thoughts are interrupted when the back door opens, and Mojo comes running in. He goes straight for his water bowl and starts slurping up water like he just went on a run. A moment later, Ryder walks in. He is wearing running shoes, shorts, and a sweat-soaked shirt that is clinging to his body.
I try not to gawk at him, but it’s really hard not to. He is tall, muscular, and there is something about him that commands the room as soon as he steps in. He glares at me but says nothing as he takes his shoes off, walks by me, and into the bathroom. He must still be mad about last night.
As soon as he is out of sight, I panic again. What if our deal’s off? What if he is done with me and brings me back to the club to let the other men have me?
I can hear my pulse buzzing in my ears, and I can feel my breathing speeding up, ready to fall into a full-blown panic attack. Before my fear can spiral out of control, Mojo appears next to me, placing his heavy head and one paw on my lap. He looks up at me and whimpers slightly as if he is sorry for me. Maybe even telling me it’s going to be okay. I reach out for him and pet him on his neck and behind his ear.
It takes me a moment to realize that the panic has passed, and my breathing has evened out. I almost laugh out loud. Mojo, the hell hound, calms me down.
My moment of peace is short-lived when the back door suddenly swings open. I jump up from the chair, ready to run away, and Mojo growls next to me.
“Whoa, whoa, calm down, Mojo,” the guy says, holding up his hands.
Mojo listens to his command and stops growling, but still stays by my side. I stare at the man standing in the kitchen. He is wearing the same clothes Ryder wears, a vest decorated with patches, dark jeans, and black boots. His arms are covered in tattoos, and just like Ryder, he is tall and muscular. The last thing he has in common with Ryder is the way he looks at me… this guy wants to have sex with me. I see the lust in his eyes.
“I’m a friend of Ryder’s,” he explains, not surprised that I’m here. He takes a stack of folded papers from his pocket and throws them on the table before turning his full attention back to me.
Then it dawns on me. Did Ryder call this guy to pick me up? Oh my god, he is getting rid of me, passing me over to them. I stupidly look to the bedroom door, wishing Ryder would come out now, even though I know he wouldn’t help me. He wouldn’t protect me from this guy, or anyone else for that matter.Not anymore.
“Don’t look so scared. I’m Tucker,” he tells me, a grin tugging on his lips. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
For some reason, I don’t want to tell him my name, I really don’t want to tell him, but I end up doing so anyway, “P-Penny.”