Marv continued to watch me, searching my face. This time I knew what he was looking for. A crack. A mark of doubt. He would not find it. I knew because I was determined. He finally relented. "Okay."
I let my hands drop to my sides and stepped away. Just before he turned and headed for the door, however, Marv's hands gripped my arms and he leaned down, slamming his lips up againstmine.
I didn't question his need, I just let him have me. My mouth opened willingly, and I met him thrust for thrust. Reaching up to thread my fingers through the short strands of his dark brown hair, his hands fell from my arms to my hips. Fingers dug into the crevices of my hip bones and jerked me hard until I could feel the heat of Marv's flesh through the fabric. I wanted nothing more than to scale his body and let him reach behind me for the zipper. The dress was a prison that I wanted to be free of, but I had to limit myself to this. At least for now. I couldn't let myself be consumed. Notyet.
I was the one forced to pull away. Both of us were breathing hard. I pushed against his chest. "Go," I said. When it looked like he would argue, his eyes glued to my lips—freshly bruised from that amazing kiss—I shook my head. "Go," I urged again. This time, he did—slipping around my body. The door behind me opened and closed, and only when I heard his footsteps on the hardwood floors of the hallway—louder than the soft bedroom floors—fading away did I let myself collapse on the bed. What were these men doing tome?
* * *
Warm fingers along my spine roused me from the depths of my sleep. Rolling towards those fingers, I opened my eyes and found myself face to face with a familiar, sharp, impenetrable gaze. I lifted my head. He was wearing a shirt this time. "How'd it go?" I askedblearily.
Marv simply continued to run his fingers down my spine, up the thin fabric of my tank top—the only comfortable girl clothes the guys had brought with them in case of an emergency—to where it turned into naked skin just under my shoulder blades. Heated shivers danced in the wake of his touch. "Marv?"
"We talked," he finallysaid.
"And?" I prompted once more, forcing my eyes to remain open when all I wanted to do was curl up and move closer tohim.
"Why do you want me?" he asked instead ofanswering.
My eyes widened, and I sat up, pulling away from his magical fingers. In another moment, those fingers would have been magical in a different way, but I felt that this wasn't exactly the time for that. We were moving into insecure territory. I moved back against the old, rickety headboard of the bed and rested there as I watched him. The question was a good reminder that no matter how masculine or confident a boy—a man—may seem, they too had their own doubts about themselves. They saw flaws that I only saw as beautiful pieces of a person. I smiled at him and reached up, tracing a finger down the side of hisface.
"Do you remember when you guys first asked me to join Iris?" Iprompted.
He frowned butnodded.
"And do you remember when I finallyagreed?"
"It was right after you saw your mom in the hospital," hesaid.
"You'reright."
"What does that have to dowith—"
"She told me something then," I said, cutting him off, "that pushed me into agreeing to joinIris."
"Were you pushed into it?" he asked. "Do you think we really would have forced you? Did you feel like you didn't have another choice?" Marv's gaze grew troubled until I shook myhead.
"No, maybe 'pushed' wasn't the right word," I admitted. "What I meant was, my mom has had a lot of trouble. Her disorder isn't fun for her, I know that. She can be up one day, down the next. And then cancer on top of that?" My voice grew hoarse and I had to stop. I cleared it, dropping my hand to the fabric of his shirt and twisting the hem with my fingers. As if sensing my unease—my pain—he let me withoutquestion.
"It's not fair," I finally stated. "It's not fair that she never really got to do the things she wanted. She never got to have adventures or go on to explore and do something she really wanted to do. She got married and had Michael and then me and then Dad was gone and then so was Michaeland..."
Where others might have urged me to keep going or rushed me, Marv didn't. Marv didn't push. He just waited and that was the perfect thing for him todo.
"She told me that I would regret it," I finally said. "She told me that I would regret not taking a chance. She gave me a choice and I chose you." I met his gaze and chuckled at the shine in his. "I chose you because you showed me something that I had been craving for a long time. I had Erika and I had my mom, but I didn't have you. You had built this beautiful, tight-knit family. Erika was leaving. My mom and I weren't close. I think she knew what I needed before I did. I don't just want you, Marv. I need you. You complete me. You and Knix and Texas and Bellamy. You fill a void I didn't know I had, and I don't want to crush it. If I can stay with you guys for just a second more without anything threatening our dynamic the way it is, then I'll give up everything else. I took a leap of faith and I haven’t regretted itsince."
Marv was tense against me. "AndGrayson?"
I released the hem of his shirt. "Grayson's like me, I think. He needs you and me. He needs us. He needs Iris. But he doesn’t have anyone pushing him to take that leap offaith."
Silence echoed in theroom.
"We talked," Marv said. I slid down further into the bed until my head was finally level with hisagain.
"You and Grayson?" Iclarified.
Marv shook his head. Confused, I moved to sit up again, but his hand landed on my chest, between my breasts and held me down. "We all talked," Marv said. "Allof us." The way he said it made it clear that whatever conversation he had gone to have had morphed into something more...and I had missed it. Ifrowned.
"I think we needed it," Marv continued. "After what you said at the hospital, we needed to talk." His eyes met mine, an apology in them as his lips quirked. "Just us—you've made it clear what you want. We needed to work out what we could and couldn't handle." His eyes dropped away from mine as if he feared that I might pull back. I didn't. My gut churned too hard to even move. “I think it’s more than obvious that none of us are willing to back down unless you make a decision, and you’ve made it pretty clear that making a decision is not something you can do. The ball’s in our court and there really are only two options for us to choose from.” Marv's finger stilled when he realized I hadn't said anything. “Harlow?"