Chapter 11
Hold on, explain this to me," Marv snapped, leaning forward. "So, you what? You knew that they were going to kidnap Erika and sell her or something to pay off yourdebt?"
Josh gulped back a breath as I stood on weak knees, using the wall at my back for support. I didn't even know if I wanted to hear the rest, though I knew I needed to. Whether I wanted to hear it or not, I couldn't move on my trembling legs, so I remained in place, a witness to the rest of Josh'sstory.
"I left the rehab center and I went straight for her, told her I didn't want her to get caught up in it—I didn't want to scare her, I left what they told meout."
"How would they even let you out, though?" Marv asked. "I mean, wouldn't they have kept a special eye onyou?"
Josh finally tilted his head down again. I looked at his face and wondered how someone who could have been at one point so attractive could fall this far. "After the detox, it took a little less to get me high, but I told the guy that it still took a lot so that I could get more. He gave me a bunch of different stuff and I saved some of the pills. I crushed it up and slipped it into some of the night staff's coffee so they wouldn't see me leave. I left, grabbed Erika, and then wehid."
"And you were at the motel the entire time?" Marvprodded.
Josh shook his head. "No, I had to leave to get food and they must have caught me on a cam somewhere or someone must have seen me—I don't fucking know—but they followed me back, figured out I had Erika with me. They barged in. I tried to stop them, I fucking swear, man." Josh's eyes sought out Texas who remained shocked as he listened. "They took Erika, fucked me up." He gestured down to the bruises on his front and side and back. Now that I looked, there were distinct yellowish blotches around his neck and jaw and eye as well. Maybe it was hard to see before because he wouldn't ever look forward. But now that he was looking, almost pleadingly at Texas, he was facing me too and I could seethem.
“How long ago?” Marvdemanded.
I held my breath, waiting for an answer. Josh exhaled heavily. “Couple of daysago.”
“Why didn’t you stop them?” I finallyblurted.
“Me?” Josh turned his gaze on me. “What the fuck do you think I coulddo?”
“Yell. Scream. Call the cops. Something!” Isnapped.
"I didn't know what to do,” he replied shakily. “It just happened so fast. I didn’t even realize what was going on until it was too late. They took her and if she fucking gives in,then..."
"Then what?" I demanded when he trailedoff.
Josh jerked as if he had forgotten I was there. But I had to know. I had to know what he knew, what they'd do to her. Even as my stomach churned with dread and worry, I waited for him to answer with baitedbreath.
He lowered his gaze. "All she has to do is sign. They'll keep her until she signs and once she does, she's fucking locked in and gone. They can do what they want. They've got the money. She'll sign their fucking contract and they'll have her on a fucking set somewhere the next day sucking some porn star’s joystick for thecamera."
Bile rushed up my throat. I couldn't wait a moment longer. I dashed from the room, cutting around Grayson as he stood in the entrance to the hallway. Even though he had promised to stay back, of course he had broken it. I didn't care in that moment. The second the bathroom door was flung open, my knees hit the cool tile and I vomited what little I had in my stomach from a breakfast of granola and yogurt. My back bowed, and my abdomen clenched as I threw up. Images flickered through my mind and I didn't even realize I was crying until little drops hit the rim of the toilet bowl as I hung over the edge. Reaching up, I gripped the handle and flushed the remains of my only meal that day down thetoilet.
A shadow in the doorway let me know that someone had joined me. I didn't know if it was out of some sort of misplaced embarrassment or what, but I couldn't seem to turn and see who had followed me to witness my brief moment of illness. Instead, I carefully reached for the roll of toilet paper, tore some off, and used it to wipe my mouth before dropping that, too, into the bowl before flushing once more. Getting off the cold floor, I moved slowly to the sink where I washed my hands and, after a brief moment of shaky unease, reached for the bottle of mouthwash to gargle the sour, acrid taste from mymouth.
"Harlow." Texas' voice was gentle as he stepped into the already small bathroom. I flinched at the way it ricocheted off the walls. I bit my lip and shook my head. I couldn’t speak for severalmoments.
"We can't let this happen." Though I was sure my voice was quiet, it sounded loud—like it, too, was echoing in the tiny bathroominterior.
"We won't," Texas assured me. When I finally raised my gaze to meet his in the reflection of the vanity mirror, the hardness in his dark brown eyes startled me. His hand closed over my shoulder and he gently prodded me to turn around and face him. I did, looking up at his jaw, and then my gaze couldn't help but flicker down to his mouth—his lips were straight, neither fuller than the other—before I peered up into his eyes. "We won't let that happen to Erika," hesaid.
I nodded. I believed him, but the fear was still there. The shock of Josh's crude words made shivers chase up and down my spine. I curled inward, forward, resting my brow on Texas' chest and his arms came up to surroundme.
And it was there, in that small outdated bathroom—with the broken floor tiles hidden behind the toilet, and the dirty mirror, and the tiny fissure in the upper corner of the back wall—that I let Texas hold me as I cried. And it was then that I realized that I loved him. I loved him for holding me. I loved him for protectingme.
But I didn't just love him. If I was truly being honest with myself, I loved Marv just as much as I loved Texas. Because Marv was out there with Josh. Marv hadn't turned me away when he found out what I had done with Bellamy. I loved Texas and I loved Marv. And Knix and Bellamy? I cared about them. I wasn't quite sure yet if it was love, but it was a deep trust that I hadn't felt before. And Grayson...Grayson was a wild card that I didn't know what to do with. I could have left him out of my thoughts. We hadn't kissed. We hadn't touched. We hadn't done anything. And yet when I asked myself the question: If I had to choose, who would it be? Grayson was there in the lineup, standing alongside the others. I wondered if they would hate me for his presence there in the list of myheart.
* * *
Istared blankly at a loose thread on the arm of the couch as Knix paced back and forth in the living room, his big body taking up way too much space for how many people were now crammed into the small three-bedroom duplex. I couldn't draw my gaze away from that stupid loose thread as I listened to the guystalk.
"We need a bigger house if we're all gonna be staying here," Texas grumbled as he shifted to the side to let Bellamy step over his legs and sit on the middle cushion between the two ofus.
"You want us to wait?" Grayson snapped at Knix. "By the time Alex calls us back, it might be toolate."
"He's likely to call back tonight," Knix said absently as he scratched the side of hisjaw.