“You’re a sophomore, right?” I asked. “Do you stay on campus in thesummer?”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Oh, no way. It’s dead in the summertime. There’s hardly anyone here. Besides, I have to work at my parents’ bar in thesummer.”
I blinked, surprised. “Don’t you have to be twenty-one to work in abar?”
She shook her head, eyes watching me as I leaned up on my side and moved my arm over my head. “You only have to be eighteen to bar-back or serve,” she said. “I just restock beers and stuff and fill out drinkorders.”
“Oh, that’scool.”
“Yeah, I’m a business major because I’m hoping one day to go into business with my dad—you know, help him run the bar and maybe open up anotherone.”
“That’s cool that you already know what you want to do,” I said as I strained my muscles, keeping my backstraight.
“So, what about you?” Kelsey’s face grew red as she did the same. “What do you want to do when you get out ofcollege?”
"Oh, um, me?" My arms began to shake. "I don't really know." I wasn’t even sure if I would finish. Finally, Kelsey collapsed on her side as I slowly lowered myself back to the ground, turning my head to see if the instructor was watching. She wasn't. I turned back toKelsey.
What the helldidI want todo?
It was a question the guys had asked me before. What did I want to do for the rest of my life? I looked around at the class—comprised of mostly girls—and wondered if they all had plans. I didn't, not really. I mean, I wasn't just passing time with the guys. They were important to me. What they did—whatwedid—was important to me. But I had never before really had a plan laid out for me. I didn't know what I liked anymore. For the longest time, I had been so focused on putting food on the table, on paying bills, and seeing my mom get better. I was used to the survival of day to day life. Now... now I had a whole life to think about. I needed to actually think about it. Make plans. Find out where I wanted to go. Maybe the college atmosphere—meeting people who had their lives planned out already—was what was pushing me to start thinking about it, and maybe it was a goodthing.
"Hey, you know you don't have to decide right this second, right?" Kelsey's voice drove me out of my inner musings and I looked up, realizing how tight my arms were. I hadn’t been paying attention. I lowered down and rested. Though she probably should have been irritated, Kelsey smiled kindly instead of pointing out my absent-mindedness. "Lots of people don't know what they want to do in life," she said. "That's what college is about. You've got four years to figure itout."
Before I could reply, the instructor clapped her hands, gaining all of our attention and announcing that her assistant had arrived to show us some basic moves. My mind roamed as we were all instructed to move together and watch as the young, slender woman with her dark hair pulled back into a severe ponytail moved forward and began to perform some of the easier gymnastics maneuvers—the handstand, the bridge, the cartwheel. All things I had learned early on. So, as the others oohed and awwed over them, I kept thinking about what I wanted. By the time class ended, I still wasn't sure of the answer, and that botheredme.
"What are you doing for lunch?" Kelsey asked as we exited thegymnasium.
"I'm—"
"Hey, Kels!" Lizzie bounded up to greet us, all wide smiles andexuberance.
"Hey," Kelseysaid.
"Wow, good class?" Iasked.
Lizzie nodded. "Yeah, I thought nutrition was gonna be a bore, but the teacher is actually pretty cool. She's already canceled a class later on in the semester because she has a conference to attend!" Lizzie did a fist pump in the air. "Score!"
"Should you really be happy about that?" I asked,curiously.
Lizzie shrugged. "Why not? I know I'm like 'losing out on the money paid for the class and blah blah blah' but I'm probably gonna need a break by the time we hit the mid-semesterslump."
"Mid-semester slump?" I blinked at her, my voice low withconfusion.
"Don't worry about it." Lizzie weaved her arm through mine and then turned back to Kelsey. "You joining us forlunch?"
"If you don't mind," Kelsey saidhesitantly.
I smiled, hoping to let her know that she was more than welcome and nodded my head even as Lizzie weaved her other arm through Kelsey's. "Not at all!" Lizzie laughed. "Let'sgo!"
As we walked towards the cafeteria together, I watched the girls interact. They made me miss Erika. Perhaps, not who Erika had become—distant and more than a little secretive if this mission was anything to go by—but the best friend she had been. She was the whole reason I was here in the first place. I wasn’t actually here to attend college and figure out my life—though the latter would have to happen eventually. That wasn’t my goal. I just needed to keep my head in the right place and not bedeterred.
Lunch was over rather quickly, and I only barely managed to dodge more questions about the guys from Lizzie while Kelsey raised her brow at me every sooften.
My last class of the day was Fiction Writing in which the professor handed out a list of appropriate novels to pick up, informing us that we would have to email him with our selection by the end of the week because there would be a book report due at the end of the semester. Although it was an interesting subject, I found the professor—a man in his mid-thirties with a terribly obvious comb over, and a dress shirt that was way too tight for his build—to be a bit autocratic and imperious. But he was the professor after all, so what did Iknow?
I got back to the dorm room, thankfully, well before Lizzie. Slipping off my backpack and storing away my school supplies, I checked my phone for any missed messages. Though there were no text messages, there was one voicemail from Knix waiting. He had called earlier in the morning just after my gymnastics class had started. I pressed play and put the phone to myear.
"Just wanted to check in on you, Little Bit." His voice rumbled in my ear, deep and soothing. I didn't realize how much I had missed him until then. "Wanted to let you know that Bellamy and I are heading up to Lander now. We received some new information from Alex. I can't talk about it over the phone. But I expect that you'll be busy with your assignment from Bellamy. Meet at the duplex at 6 pm tonight. That's when we should be there." My breath caught. I wondered what they could have found. Just when I thought the voicemail was over, there was the brief sound of the phone being jostled as it was passed over. Bellamy's voice came through. "Hey Sweetheart, don't worry about Cleo. We checked on her before we left. Be safe on your assignment. See youtonight."
A monotone voice announced the end of the message and repeated options for me to either delete, save, or re-listen. I re-listened to the voicemail two more times just to hear the sound of their voices before I finally saved it and put it back in my pocket. I was relieved that they would be coming to the university sooner than planned and that I'd be able to see them, but I had a job todo.