Chapter 4
The "house" that Grayson, Texas, and Marv were sharing turned out to be a duplex much like the one I had lived in with my mom. Marv and I walked back from my second and last class of the day, cutting through one of the staff and faculty parking lots. We were going to be alone for a few hours. With everything going on, I hadn’t realized how deeply my relationships with the guys were changing. Before, I might have been unsure or awkward for a completely different reason. Now, I kept wondering if he would try to kiss me again. When we arrived, I glanced at Marv out of the corner of my eye as he unlocked the front door and held it open for me. He didn’t appear as phased by our proximity or relative aloneness as I was. Maybe I was reading too much into themoment.
As I entered, at first glance, the place seemed small. Even smaller than my old duplex. The living room was barren except for a threadbare couch shoved under the front windows that overlooked the rickety porch. In front of it was a scarred, cheap, black coffee table that didn't match the wooden entertainment center holding the tiny box television across the room. I blinked as I looked at it, and Marvlaughed.
"Yeah, I didn't know those things still existed outside of junkyardseither."
"Does it work?" Iasked.
He shrugged. "Dunno. I can try and see if it'll work, but I thought you wanted to call theothers."
"I do," I replied immediately. "I just didn't want to call them in the dorm or anything because of myroommate."
He nodded. "I figured. That's why I offered the place. You know this is our base of operations for the time being. Before you leave here today, I'll give you a key in case we're not here to let youin."
I moved further into the house, peeking down the hall. "You can use any of the rooms," Marv offered. "I'm sure you'll wantprivacy."
I paused on the threshold of one of the proffered rooms, the door hanging open and revealing a double wide bed, a dresser, and not much else. "Are you really okay with doing this?" I asked. I hesitated to look back athim.
"Doingwhat?"
"The...you know...the dating thing." I finally turned and facedhim.
Marv's gaze met mine and he stepped closer. My breath caught, and my heart picked up the tempo of its movements against the inside of my ribcage. I felt like it was racing faster and faster, trying to run away from something...or maybe to someone. "I don't begrudge them," he said. "The others. I understand it. You're amazing, Harlow, whether you realize it or not. I knew you'd be trouble the second Bell and I saw you jump after Cleo." Marv's hand raised, and his fingers brushed my hair away from my shoulders. "If I had to guess, I'd say Bell fell in love with you right then and there. You have him firmly entrapped, but I'm sure it's one prison he'd never want to escapefrom."
I frowned, confusion clouding my thoughts. "I don't want to be a prison foranyone."
Marv's lips twitched. "It's not a bad thing—maybe prison was the wrong word for it. In every relationship there are expectations, there are rules. You have to respect the other person and they have to respect you. Rules seem like a prison to some people. But in a healthy relationship, it's merely a side note to all of the other things. The safety. The care. Thelove."
"And you think Bellamy is already in that relationship with me?" I wondered if he was right. After all, Bellamy and I had gone a lot further in the intimacy department than any of theothers.
He nodded. "I do, but I'm notafraid."
"You're notjealous?"
Marv laughed sardonically, his chest rising and falling quickly with the sharp movement. It was the kind of laugh that made it clear he didn’t truly find it funny. "Oh, I'm incredibly jealous," he finally admitted. "Bell is a good person, though. He'd never take advantage of you or hurt you." A dark emotion passed over his expression and he stepped back. "With him, I'm sure you'll be just fine. I'll be in the kitchen, let me know when you're done with your phonecall."
Before I could say anything, he turned and left, heading back down the hallway and back into the main portion of the house. A weight settled on my chest, filling me with dread, sinking deep in me like rocks to the bottom of a lake. With a frown, I entered the bedroom and slowly closed the door behind me. The more I was reminded of their expectations, the more I felt likeIwas the one trapped in a prison—a prison ofchoice.
Shaking away the foreboding thoughts, I set my bag to the side and dragged my phone out, quickly dialing Knix's number. He answered on the secondring.
"Harlow?"
I smiled at the sound of his voice—deep and steady. "Hey," I said, "I'm just calling to check in on you guys. How is everythingthere?"
"Everything is good. Alex has us working on some stuff here. Bell checked on your mom. He visited her yesterday; she's doingokay."
I sniffed, tears misting my eyes. "Thank you," I said. "That was reallythoughtful."
Knix's voice softened. "Harlow, we look out for our own. She's important to you. There are no thanksnecessary."
I sniffed again and released a breath. "Did he talk to her doctors?" Iasked.
"He’s here with me; you can ask him about it." I waited as the phone exchanged hands and then Bellamy's voice came through thespeaker.
"Sweetheart?"
My hands slipped against the phone and a tingle erupted in the palm holding it to my ear as I recalled Marv’s words. Is it true? I wondered. Is Bellamy in love with me? "Hey," I breathed out the word, a smile rising to mylips.