"Who cares about normal?" Texas asked. "What do youwant?"
"I want you guys to not fight?" I said it like it was meant to be a question and bit my lip when the last higher syllable left mymouth.
"Don't worry about us. We'll figure us out. What does Harlow want?" he demanded, sounding almost frustrated withme.
I huffed. "I want to talk to you without feeling guilty," I said. "I want to hold your hand and kissyou."
"I want that too," he said, sounding happier than he had a moment ago. It was too bad I had to ruin it with my nextwords.
"But I want that with the others, too." I closed my eyes against the quiet, empty dorm lounge and let my words go. "I want to kiss Knix and Bellamy and Marv," and Grayson, I thought to myself, "and I want to hold their hands and go on dates and get flowers and...I've never been on a date." I opened my eyes with thatrealization.
"You can go on a date, Harlow. You know any one of us would take you," Texassaid.
I shook my head even though he couldn't see me. "I'd be too worried about the others." I thumped my head back on the couch and groaned. "All I'd be thinking about is how you guys might tally everything. If I kiss one of you, do I have to kiss all of you? Are you going to want it to be even? Will you hate me if I take too long to choose? What if..." I paused, unsure if I should reveal this much...this last, deep, dark, worry of mine. My stomach cramped with the anxiety ramping up. My heart hammering loudly in my ears. I closed my eyes and took deepbreaths.
Texas pressed me on. "What if what, Princess?" he askedquietly.
I opened my eyes and bit my lip hesitantly before I spoke again. "What if..." I started again, "I can'tchoose?"
“We didn’t say you had to choose,” he pointedout.
I frowned and shook my head. Biting my lip, heat flushed my cheeks as I looked away. “You’ll expect it, Texas. Or if not you, then one or more of the otherswill.”
“I can’t speak forthem.”
My eyelashes fluttered as I stared at a distant point. I couldn’t quite see what I was staring at. My eyes had misted over. “I know,” I reply. My chest rose and fell and, yet, it felt like an incredible weight had been lifted and dropped onto me all at once. "But if I didn’t choose, would you hate methen?"
Texas didn't speak, and tears stung my eyes as my head drooped. I didn't even bother looking at the phone as I went to press the end call button. Just before my finger hit the red circle, I heard Texas' voice clearly, "I could never hate you,Harlow."