"That doesn't mean we can't do other things," he said. His warm hands pressed between my legs again, fingers sliding against my naked flesh. I gasped and lifted into his touch. "Will you letme?"
I gasped as he slid a lone finger into me. I tightened around it and his eyes flared as he stared down atme.
"You're so goddamn beautiful, Sweetheart." He kissed me again, taking my mouth fast andhard.
My breasts swelled as he began to pump his finger in and out. Slowly, Bellamy added a second finger and then a third. The third was a tight fit and I involuntarily clenched him even harder. He groaned and moved them in and out of meslower.
One wide palm slid over my stomach and I shivered as goosebumps rose to meet his hand. He moved up and skimmed over my bra. Dark brown eyes shot to mine as he closed his hand around one breast and squeezed through my bra cup. Shivers coursed over my shoulders as Bellamy looked at me. He watched me as his fingers brushed at the edges and he slipped beneath the material. Fingertips closed over one nipple and I jerked. His mouth met mine again, muting my gasp and I closed my eyes, feeling the shocking waves of pleasure. His fingers continued to pump inside me. I shuddered, my hips undulating on their own. I couldn't stop even if I wantedto.
I didn't want to. I wanted more. My hands held onto Bellamy's broad shoulders, nails digging into his skin. The harder I dug, the hotter his eyes flamed. Hovering over me, like he was, I barely felt the breeze coming through the open window. My eyes flicked to it, scared that someone might be able to hear us from the outside when he hit something deep inside of me, and I gasped – window forgotten – choking on a scream as sparks snapped through my body. Releasing a low groan, a wave of shock had the smallest black and white dots dancing behind my eyelids that were shut against thesensations.
Bellamy let go of my mouth with a gasp – mine, I realized. I couldn't seem to stop doing that. Gasping. Groaning. Moving against his hand. His thumb came up, brushing and pushing against the bundle of nerves there and I blinked as fireworks exploded. I didn't care if my nails were drawing blood, I needed to hold onto something or I knew I'd be rocketed up and out into space. He was my gravity, my anchor to earth in thatmoment.
When I finally came down, I realized that Bellamy had withdrawn his hand and was holding me on his side. He stroked my hair with his lips at my temple and I shivered, my whole body tensing again and again as I slowly descended from my peak of euphoria. He pulled back and looked down atme.
"Are you okay?" he asked. I opened my mouth, but words wouldn't form. All I could do was nod. "Good." His eyes crinkled with his smile and suddenly, it hit me what had just happened. What I had just done. Now I couldn't speak for a different reason. When Bellamy scooted down further in the bed and pulled me close to cuddle against my skin, I let him. Fear and pain encased my heart. What would happen now? I pressed my face against Bellamy's chest, hoping he didn't feel my tears, but sure he could – he didn't have a shirt. He didn't say anything though, and for that, I wasgrateful.
I would need to tell the guys sooner or later. They deserved to know. A kiss was one thing, but this had been so much more. The problem was I knew they'd kick me out. Maybe not out of Iris, but out of the team and that was the worst of it. The thought of not being able to see them, of not cuddling with Marv at night, not playing pranks with Bellamy and Texas, of not training with Knix...it was like all of my limbs were being severed. Why did it feel this way? I had known them for such a short time, but already it felt like we had lived lifetimes together and I was about to destroy all ofthat.