Chapter 11
Soft music played on my newly acquired computer as it had when I went to bed. The screen was pitch black and the silky tunes slid over my ears as I rolled over and nuzzled against a warm chest. I blinked bleary eyes awake at that. I knew that I had gone to bed alone. Marv hadn't come home for dinner. I looked up at the face of the body next to me and he stared down at me, his normally bright, cheerful eyes dark and foreboding. I pulledaway.
"When did you get in?" I whispered, afraid to break the spell that was cast over the room. His eyes glittered at me dangerously and I scooted even further back. Slowly sitting up against thepillows.
When he didn't answer me, I frowned. "Are you okay?" Iasked.
After several moments of frightening silence punctuated only by the soft music, he sat up. I realized he was still dressed for the day, wearing slightly wrinkled slacks, though I could still see where the iron creases were. It was obvious he had been in them for several hours. His jacket was missing, but he wore a white button-down under a black Burberry cashmere sweater – had he slept in hisclothes?
"No," he said gruffly, "I'm not fucking okay." Startled, I backed up as he rose over me. "I thought at least Alex would fuckin see that you're not ready to go into a mission likethis."
"The etiquette camp?" I clarified, confused. "What are you talking about? You wanted this to get checked out. You've been pushing for this from the very beginning. You let me go with you on some of theinterviews."
"Yes," he said. "Interviews." The way he emphasized the word left me with a bad feeling. "I did not intend for you to go in a way that was dangerous. You're still in fucking training for fuck's sake. Knix and Alex are bothinsane."
I blinked up at him, shocked by his use of foul language. Sure, I slipped every now and then. The guys did occasionally. But I had never heard Marv sound so...deeply enraged. He leveraged himself over me. One of his legs swung over the both of mine until I was pinned beneath him. "I don't want you going," he said. "Turn itdown."
"Turn it – no!" I hissed at him when I realized what he was asking me to do. "No way in hell," I said firmly. "You," I punctuated with a poke to his chest, "were the one so adamant about checking thisout."
Marv reached up and snagged my hand. His ocean blue eyes sparkling dangerously. "Not with you at risk," he said and his tone was dark –frightening.
"What about the last mission we went on–Grayson–" He growled when I said that name and I rolled my eyes. "You were perfectly fine with thatmission."
"I was there," he snapped. "I was able to keep you safe. You were beside me almost every fucking second. If not with me, then you were with one of the others. If you do this, it'll be different. You'll be on your own for ninety percent of thegroundwork."
That was new information to me. "You're notgoing?"
He pressed down, closer to my chest. "Oh, don't you fucking worry,Sunshine." He said my nickname through gritted teeth. He was still angry, but it was his word – his pet name for me – he wasn't the kind of person to give that up. "I'll be there. All of us will be there. But we won't be with you 24/7 like we were last time. If anything happens to you, we mightnot–"
"Marv." I reached up and gripped his arms as he hovered over me and he sank even deeper against me as I said his name. His face was mere inches above my own. I tried not to stare at his lips, but I could feel his breath on mine. "I'll be fine. I have to do this, and you have to letme."
"I don't like it," he replied, reaching up and gripping my each of my wrists as I moved my hands to his face. I cupped his cheeks as he held his weight with his elbows planted on the bed. We were so close, impossibly so. I could feel his breath on mylips.
"At some point, I'm going to have to go on my own. You can't be around me forever." I tried cracking a smile. "And let's face it," I said, "I'm not a chinadoll."
He didn't smile back. Instead, Marv gripped my hands and brought them back to the bed, pressing them into the mattress on either side of my head. He lowered his face until my breathing sped up and words choked in my throat. “What would happen if someone got on top of you like this?” he asked, his face a hard mask. “What would youdo?”
“I would defend myself,” I replied. My voice shook, though. I could feel him all over me, his breath against mycheek.
“What if you were sleeping? Drugged? What then?” hedemanded.
“Marv.” My voice dropped to a whisper. There was something going on between us, something intimate. “Someone has togo.”
“It doesn’t have to be you.” His eyes glittered in the darkness, his voice shaking. “You don’t have togo.”
“If it’s not me then it’ll be someone just like me,” I replied. “Iwantto go. I want to help. You started us down this path. Don’t you think those girls –thatgirl – needs someone to stand up for them. To find out what’s goingon?”
He was quiet for several moments. The tension between us pulled taut, like a tightly stretched string almost ready to break. My heart pounded. My breathing caught several times. I knew if he let go of my hands, they would be shaking. His own palms pressed into me, holding me down as his body hovered over me. I wanted him to let me go so I could hug him. I had this incessant need to pull him close, to hold him. I wanted to reassure him that I would be alright, that nothing would happen to me. I didn’t know if it would be a lie, though. There was every possibility that going to the etiquette camp could end up with me gettinghurt.
I could feel him trembling as he spoke next. "You will do every fucking thing we tell you to do," he stated. "Nod your head if you understand." Inodded.
"Good." Still, he didn’t move. In fact, he pressed more fully into me. His hands spread out and his fingers intertwined with mine. “All I want is for you to staysafe.”
“I will be,” I said. “I’m not goingalone.”
He pulled back and looked down at me, one of his hands released mine so that he could brush back some of my hair with cool fingers. “You’re so special, Harlow,” he whispered in the darkness of the room. “I don’t think you even realize how special youare.”
I tried to shrug. “I’m just me,” Isaid.