"You would know if you checked your phone." He sighed when the thing in question began to buzz again, the prolonged vibration indicating another phone call. Reaching over, he plucked it from my nightstand andanswered.
"Hey," Marv answered. "Yea, I've got her." Those gray eyes of his slid over me. If I looked close enough there were flecks, shinier than the rest of the clouded tones in his swirling irises. It made it look like he had burning, silver stars swimming through hiseyes.
"I'm getting to that – did you – yea? I'm not surprised. She's a little defensive." I wished I had the courage to hit him. I didn't like him talking about me while I was sitting right there. "Yea, talk to you later." Silence stretched between us, thick and uncomfortable after he hung up. He lounged against my sagging mattress as though he was in a king'spalace.
"So," he began, "I take it things didn't gowell."
"You already know, don't you?" They already knew so much about me, I didn't have any secrets, any privacy, or anyboundaries.
"We want you to come to us if you need us, Harlow." His starry eyes hinted at sympathy, making me want to choke. "But I know girls like you. We've all had our run in with the type–" His body, though not quite as massive as Knix, or quite as broad as Bellamy, overwhelmed me when he pulled me to him and hugged me to his chest. "You're incredibly selfless. You do more for anyone else than for yourself. You give and you give. You're strong willed, but you don't think so. You just think you're trying to makeit."
"I am making it," I mumbled through his shirt. "And you don't really know me. You only just met me a weekago."
"Hush." One hand came up and cradled the back of my head. "Even if we had known you for years, you wouldn't tell us. So, you might use the excuse that we're just getting to know each other, but you haven't told your friend Erika anything either, haveyou?"
I wasn't normally so comfortable being touched by people I didn't know, but it felt nice to lean against Marv's chest – even if I didn't want to listen to what he wassaying.
"You aren't a burden, not like youthinkyou would be to your brother, or your mom if she was working full time and supportingyou."
I brought two hands up and pushed, creating enough distance to look up at him. "You know about Michael?" He raised an eyebrow and I gave him a sardonic look. "Of course youdo."
He shrugged, running his fingers through my hair. "I know you have a brother. I know that the relationship between him and your mother is strained. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he couldn't hack it and left you to deal with the fallout. We're not like that, Sunshine. We stick with our family. We support them, protectthem–"
"Your family doesn't seem to needthat."
The smile he turned my way made me feel guilty. I was jealous. He knew it and I knew it. Not of his wealth, but of his family. I had watched him and his mom and how they acted towards each other. I had seen the way she looked at him, like he was her baby – her loving miracle – no matter what. I wanted that kind of tenderness and devotion from someoneelse.
"No, my blood family doesn't need my help. But that doesn't mean my other familydoesn't."
I knew he meant Knix, Texas, and Bellamy. The way they worked together was so odd before, but when I realized that they truly were family – in their minds, at least – it made sense. It felt like he was offering me a place there and it was tempting, even with the price tagattached.
Families could rip you open, soul and body, and you would always come back because that's what we were conditioned to do. Family is blood and blood is the strongest connection in the world. No matter the insult or injury, they were family, so they had to love you and you had to love them back. I didn't love my brother anymore. My mom was growing further and further away. Soon I would bealone.
"You're not going to be alone," Marv said. I blinked at him before realizing that I'd just said everything I was thinking aloud and my face flushed brightred.
Fingertips traced the edge of my jaw line, drawing me away from my embarrassing thoughts. He smiled down at me. His eyes shimmered with empathy and compassion. A part of me wanted to twist away from him and order him to leave, but his eyes told me that he understood what it was like to lose someone – and even though my mom wasn't gone yet, she would beeventually.
"We're each a cog in a big machine," Marv said. "None of us are burdens. Sometimes, we get a little rusty and we need someone to take us out and fix us or we get a little dirty and need to be cleaned. That's just the wear and tear of time. That stuff happens to everyone. It doesn't make what we do or who we are any less important. Your problems are not burdens. You just need to be taken care of for a little bit before you can run smoothlyagain."
My eyes itched, tears threatening to spill again. I cursed them. I had just stopped crying. Cheeks on fire, I held my breath to keep from breaking down. Goosebumps trailed up my bare arms and down my back. I shivered against his chest, burrowing a bit because he was so warm. Fatigue threatened to drag meunder.
"Come on, let's go to sleep, Sunshine." Marv twisted, sliding away from me as he set me back against the bed. He tucked my covers around my side, turning me over to face away from him with gentle hands before unbuttoning his dressshirt.
"What are you doing?" I asked. He picked up his phone, typed a message and sent it before I heard the telltale sound of his phone being turned off. I peeked behindme.
"I told the guys that I'm staying the night with you. They'll call your phone if they need me. I don't have my charger." He reached for the button of his slacks and I flipped back into position, staring at the wall with wideeyes.
I didn't last thirty seconds before I asked the question that weighed on my mind. "Why?"
He didn't reply as he lifted the covers and crawled beneath them, moving close, spooning up against my back. The heat was a welcome reprieve against the cool air of the room. I waited for an answer, but I didn't have any fight left in me to make him tell me if he wasn't going to offer itup.
Marv's boxers brushed against the backs of my legs as he slid one corded arm around my middle, bringing me closer to his chest. I reached down and gripped that arm, holding it tight like one might a teddy bear as another slid under my neck. He was so close, so warm. It was too much. Yet, it was alsoperfect.