Chapter 23
Gavin
Nothavingyoursight is one thing but waking up and having something around your head preventing your eyes from opening is another. Funnily enough, it’s a lot harder to deal with. Waking up with everything hurting isn’t great, and it takes me a few minutes to remember I hurt because I’ve had surgery.
"Lauren?" I croak, not recognizing my voice.
"I'm right here. Let me get you some water."
A moment later, a straw touches my lips, and the cold water feels good on the back of my throat. When she sets the water down, her hand never leaves my arm.
"I haven't talked to the doctor yet, but the nurses say everything went well. We’re in the recovery room, but they said after you wake up a little more, they'll move you to your own room, and my mom can bring Graham to see you."
I've been going back and forth on whether I even want Graham to see me like this. But I’ll be in the hospital for a few days, so going that long without seeing him isn’t an option.
Lauren has done a great job of preparing him by talking about it every night. She’s explained what will happen every day, what we're doing here, and what to expect. I trust her judgment, and though I’m his dad, she knows him better than I do. Since she's been in his life longer, I know she thinks he can handle this, so I'm going to trust her.
After the nurse comes over and checks me out, I think she gives me some pain medication because I'm in and out of it for a long time. I don't remember being moved to my own room. When I wake again, it's dinner time, and Graham is visiting with Lauren's mom. I know it's him based on the small footsteps as he enters the room. He walks over to me and stops. I can only imagine what he sees with all the wires and monitors and me all bandaged up.
"Does it hurt, Dad?" his small voice asks.
"No, not really. It’s like having a headache." When I hold my hand out to him, he takes it, standing there for a minute.
Finally, I scoot to the side of the bed and pat the space next to me. He climbs in and curls up to my side like his mom did before I left for surgery. Lauren joins us on the other side and takes my hand. This is my family. No matter the outcome of this surgery, this is what I want every day. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. The moment I’m out of this hospital, I'm going to make it happen.
Every morning, Lauren’s mom takes Graham to see the sites and visit different parts of the Baltimore area. Then after lunch, they come and hang out with us. We watch TV, and he tells us what he saw and did that day.
Lauren’s mom asks her daily if she’d like a ride home or if she’s staying. Not once has Lauren left my side.
"You should go home, change, shower, and sleep in a comfortable bed," I tell her.
Most nights, she sleeps curled up to my side, which I know can't be super comfortable. I've barely been sleeping. I doze throughout the day, but lying in bed, not being able to see the sunlight outside, makes it hard to keep my body adjusted to day and night, which my doctors in the past have drilled into my head as extremely important.
"During the day when you nap, I shower in your room. My mom's been bringing me fresh clothes. As uncomfortable as the bed is, I sleep better here with you than I would by myself. Now, before you bring Graham into it, he’s having an amazing time with my mom. She’s spoiling him rotten, and a few days without me sleeping in the same building as him isn't going to hurt."
I smile because she knows I don't have any arguments left. I can't blame her because if the situation were reversed, I wouldn't leave her side either. I want her here more than I should.
"Thank you for being here."
"There’s nowhere else I’d rather be."
"Lauren, there's something I wanted to talk to you about while Graham isn’t here."
“Okay?" She sounds hesitant, and I don't blame her.
"Before I left Oakside, Noah asked if I wanted to be discharged. They said I'm welcome to stay until they’re able to help me get a place and a job, but if I already had something lined up... well, I don't want to put any strain or pressure on you, but I want to be as much of a family as we can.” I don't come right out and say it, knowing I chickened out, but she isn't saying anything either.
In my head, I guess I expected her to jump at the chance before I even finished what I was saying. So I hadn't prepared a whole proper speech to ask if she was willing for us to live together. I don't want to miss another moment with her or Graham, and I want to be there for them both.
"It’d be a lie if I said I wasn't thinking about this, Gavin. I want us to be a family, but you moving in with us is a huge and very permanent step. Graham would never accept or understand why you were moving out."
"Lauren, haven't you listened to anything I've said? It's always been you, and it's always going to be you. Once and for all, it's you and Graham or no one. If you let me into your life, I will not be going anywhere. That's one promise I can make and keep without giving it a second thought."
"If you're sure you're ready, we would love to have you move in with us, Gavin. But there’s one condition."
This wouldn't be my Lauren if there weren't a condition. I already know I’ll agree to it no matter what."And what condition would that be?"
"You’re not to rush into taking any job because you feel the need to take care of us. We’ve been doing just fine for the last seven years. I love my job, and I want you to do the same. Go back to school. Take your time and find a job you love."