"Long but good until just now," I answer honestly.
"What happened?” His voice goes from playful to serious.
"Oh, my parents weren't too happy to hear you were back in my life."
He doesn't answer right away, but when he does, his voice is softer than moments ago.
"Are you happy I'm back in your life?"
"Of course, I am. It's all I’ve wanted for years. I just wish it was under better circumstances."
"Well, that's all that matters. If you don't want me in your life, all you have to do is say the word."
"Gavin..." I don't know what to say, but he seems to understand.
We spend the next few minutes talking about surprising my mom and how bowled over and excited she was. Then we end up in another silence.
"What are you doing now?" he asks.
"Lying in bed talking to this hot guy," I tease.
"Hmm, what are you wearing?"
He used to ask this when we fooled around on the phone. How easy it is to fall back into old habits.
"I still sleep in cotton shorts and a tank top, though I've put on a little weight since the last time you saw me in them. Today's set is light blue."
"More weight means more to hold onto. Don't ever think it's something to be ashamed of, baby. If I were there, I'd show you exactly what I mean."
Lord help me. I've been trying to slow us down for weeks, but here we are.
"How would you show me?" I whisper.
His sharp intake of breath tells me he wasn't expecting my question.I smile because I love catching him off guard.
"I'd start by gripping your hips, pulling you toward me, and letting you feel how hard you make me. Just the thought of you has always made me hard. Then I'd lay you on the bed and kiss every inch of your body, teasing you the whole time."
I can picture it so clearly that my heart races and my breathing picks up. "Don't stop."
"I’d take my time kissing every inch of your skin. Lauren. I didn't get to take my time with you like that before, but given the chance again, I would. I'd start by playing with your breasts. Are they bigger too?"
"By two cup sizes," I whisper. I don’t tell him it's because I breastfed.
"Fuck, I'd spend a long time loving on them. Touch them for me now, baby."
I bring up the hand not holding the phone and start playing with them, wishing they were his hands and not mine.
"Are you hard?" I ask.
"So, fucking hard for you, I'm leaking thinking about you in bed playing with your tits. Are you wet?"
"Soaked."
He moans.
I forgot how powerful it is to have a strong man desire you. "Are you touching yourself?"
"Yes," he whispers.