We linger in the parking lot for a while, talking, before finally, he walks me to my door. “Tonight was great,” I tell him after unlocking everything, gazing up into his eyes.
“Glad to hear it,” he smiles.
A silence falls over us and slowly, he closes the distance between us until his lips are on mine. The kiss sets me alight from within, leaving every inch of me tingling, and by the time he pulls back, the part of me that wants to invite him in is definitely being more vocal.
“Listen,” I say, “I just want to be upfront; I like you, Elliot, a lot. And to be completely honest, there is a part of me right now that is screaming at me for not inviting you in right now, but you’re the first guy I’ve had real feelings for in a long time, and the last time…well, it’s a long story, but it ended badly. So, I just want you to know that it’s not you, at all, it’s just…”
“You’re not ready,” he finishes for me, and I nod.
He grips my chin and tips my face up toward his. “That’s perfectly fine,” he assures me, “I’m a patient guy, and you’re worth waiting for. And I like that you’re telling me this, I appreciate the honesty.”
“No one deserves to wonder why they weren’t good enough,” I reply, trying to ignore the sudden ache in my chest.
He bends down to kiss me again. “Whoever made you wonder that is an idiot,” he says firmly.
“I didn’t say-”
“You didn’t have to. But whoever it was, their loss…” he leans in to whisper in my ear, so close that I can feel his lips brush my skin and it makes me tremble, “And my gain.”
With that, he straightens back up, leaving me a shaky, horny mess. And the hint of a smirk on his smug fucking face tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. “Goodnight, Lena.”
“Goodnight,” I reply breathlessly.
He turns to walk away and for a moment, I just watch him, then I open my door and start to head in. Suddenly, I remember something. “Text me and let me know you got home safely!” I call after him.
He turns over his shoulder, smiling, and flashes me a thumbs up.
I go inside and set to cleaning myself up, washing off makeup and brushing my teeth and hair. My phone chimes with a new text as I’m slipping into my pajamas, and I settle into bed before I check it, plugging it into the outlet behind my nightstand. I open the new message, seeing it’s from Elliot, and immediately, I’m grinning like an idiot.
Safe & sound, beautiful. Sweet dreams.
I type back a quick reply before settling my phone on the nightstand and turning onto my side. But even as I’m drifting off to sleep, I can’t wipe the big, goofy grin off my face.
Chapter Three
Shaun
“Sniper on your left, J.”
“I need more health packs, can anyone come to me?”
“Grenade!”
This last warning comes too late, and I watch on screen as my character is killed by an enemy explosive. Over my headset, I hear a chorus of groans as the match ends and we’re declared the losers.
It’s not my first loss of the evening on this video game, but I decide it’s going to be the last. My heart’s not in it, and I haven’t been able to focus worth a damn all night. All I can think about is Elliot.
I sigh and shut off the game, switching over to a streaming app and choosing something random to “watch.”
But while my eyes are on the screen, my mind is on my roommate. Where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s doing it with…and why that person isn’t me.
I know I don’t have any right to be jealous. I’d made my choice after our night together, but that doesn’t make the feelings any easier to deal with. I’d started falling for Elliot within about a week of moving in here.
It had taken me a while to figure out those feelings. It had been so long since I’d felt them, and I’d never felt them for another guy before, so it took months before I’d processed them and realized that I was bi and into him.
But it doesn’t matter. He deserves better.
I don’t date anymore. It just doesn’t feel right. After all, how are you supposed to try and find someone when you already know your soulmate’s out there?