I hesitate. I did mean it, and still would if I said it now. Everything else aside, I love Lena. I’ve loved her since I was fifteen fucking years old, and I couldn’t stop even if I tried.
I know, because I’ve been trying to stop for six fucking years.
“But…you two are together. You have each other, you two are good for each other, you don’t need me.”
“If that were true, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, Shaun,” Elliot says softly, “Obviously it would be easier for all three of us if we could just move on. But clearly that’s not happening.”
“And think about it, Shaun, the Bend isn’t some tiny little town,” Lena says, “Maybe this is me being superstitious, but it seems like anawfullot of coincidences had to happen to put me back in your path, doesn’t it? Call me crazy, but it seems to me like Fate is kind of screaming at us right now.”
“So what are you guys suggesting?” I ask incredulously, “That you and I just pick up after six years like nothing happened? And what about you and me, where the hell does that go?” I direct this part at Elliot.
“Obviously things aren’t just going to pick up right where they left off,” Lena says, shaking her head, “But maybe what we need, whatallof us need, is a fresh start together.”
“What, like…the three of us? How the hell is that supposed to work?”
“However we want it to,” Elliot says with a shrug, startling me, “What rule says we’re supposed to love one person? Who says every person has a single soulmate?”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing, and I almost want to laugh out loud. The way they’re talking about it makes it sound so impossibly simple, like we could just fall into all of this.
“That’s…that’s crazy,” I say, shaking my head.
“Is it? We love you, you love us, right?” Elliot asks.
I can’t deny it; I nod.
“So why do we have to choose? If this is what all of us want, why can’t we have it all?”
I look from him to Lena. It all seems far too good to be true, and I’m still waiting for the catch. “What if it turns out I’m not the same man you remember?” I ask her.
“What if I’m not the same girl you remember?” she counters, “We’ll either work through it, or we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but we’ll never know unless we give things a chance.”
“But-”
“Oh, Shaun, for the love of God, will you just shut the fuck up?” she exclaims in annoyance, grabbing my face between her hands and kissing me.
My ears ring and my head spins. There’s a familiarity to the kiss that makes me feel like I’ve stepped into my own past, but at the same time, it’s something brand new. All my protests, all of my chaotic, tangled thoughts dissipate and all I can think about is her. Her and the man standing beside her.
I draw back and look at Elliot, half-expecting to see rage on his face, but there isn’t a trace. “Please, Shaun,” he says softly, “If you really do love us…give us a chance to make this work.”
I can’t believe this is seriously happening. An hour ago, I’d been planning to give Lena up for the second time in my life and lose Elliot, too, and now they’re telling me that I can keep both of them?
“This all just sounds too good to be true,” I tell them, “Can it seriously be this easy?”
“If you think this is gonna be easy, you’re out of your mind,” Elliot laughs, “But that doesn’t mean it can’t be something amazing.”
He reaches out and cups my cheek in his hand. “The shit that’s happened between all of us isn’t just going to go away, it’s going to be a lot of hard work. We’re gonna fight, there are going to be nights when you’re made at us, we’re mad at you, or both of us are mad at Lena, but that’s just part of being human. But we love each other, and I think there’s something here we’d be foolish to ignore.”
His touch sends sparks through me, just as hers does, and when he leans in to kiss me, the last of my resistance shatters. He’s right. Maybe there’s a reason my heart never let go of Lena and that through Elliot, we’ve found each other again.
Like he was always supposed to be a part of us, and now, after all this time and all this pain, we’re all finally where we’re supposed to be.
So finally, I let go of the inhibitions and give in. All of the sexual frustration feels like a shaken soda bottle, ready to burst.
“Wow,” I hear Lena whisper.
I turn to look at her and she’s staring at the two of us. “That had no right to be as hot as it was,” she says.
Both of us laugh, and I step over to Lena. “You really want this?” I ask her, “You don’t hate me?”